Grief'd Up

Content Warning: Jessica gets really candid about her miscarriage experience in this episode. Not everyone is in a place where they can listen to a story about pregnancy loss, and that's completely understandable.. If you're not, it's okay. You can skip to 17 minutes 15 seconds and still get a lot out of this episode. 

​​"I think we should let grief change us. I'm not into the idea of silver linings. I'm not into trying to, ‘get back to who we were before.’ I just let it all rush over me."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Dr. Jessica Zucker, author of "I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, A Movement" and "Normalize It: Upending the Silent Stigma and Shame That Shape Women's Lives," whose personal tragedy built a global movement for normalizing conversations about loss. Jessica thought she understood pregnancy loss until she experienced a traumatic 16-week miscarriage alone at home. The gap between professional knowledge and lived experience felt isolating.

Friends offered well-meaning but painful platitudes: "At least you have a healthy child," "At least you have a thriving career." Jessica realized that our collective discomfort with loss creates a toxic cycle where silence breeds stigma, stigma breeds shame, and shame keeps people suffering alone. This led to her "I Had a Miscarriage" campaign and two books challenging how we talk about difficult experiences.

The conversation tackles practical territory: How do you celebrate a sister's pregnancy while grieving your own struggles getting pregnant? What's the difference between "normalizing" and "getting back to normal"? Rebecca and Jessica explore the messy realities of grief in relationships, the courage required to start talking about hard things (even in Instagram comments), and why avoiding someone who's grieving can make them feel worse.

Join Rebecca and Jessica as they debunk the myths surrounding grief and explain why allowing loss to change us is essential, because there’s no going back to who we were before. And that’s ok.

Connect with Jessica:

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Grieve Leave Links:

Newsletter: Sign up at GrieveLeave.com for grief support resource

"I got it out of him that he told his mom about me, and she told him to run as fast as he can and never be with someone who has complex medical issues."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes sisters Jacqueline and Alexa Child, founders of Dateability, the only dating app for disabled and chronically ill people. The sisters share their personal journey with chronic illness and how it inspired them to create a space where the world's largest minority can find connection without fear of rejection.

Jacqueline became disabled at 14 when mono triggered multiple autoimmune conditions, including dysautonomia, gastroparesis, and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. She opens up about grieving her former athletic identity, from quitting soccer to losing her hair overnight. The conversation explores her dating experiences on mainstream apps, where disclosure of disability often led to discrimination and painful rejection. At 27, facing the decision to get a feeding tube, Jacqueline had to navigate yet another layer of grief while learning to live fully with chronic illness.

Alexa shares her perspective as the "healthy sister" and how witnessing Jacqueline's dating struggles during the pandemic motivated them to create Dateability. Together, the sisters and Rebecca explore the challenges of dating with invisible disabilities, Glass Child syndrome, and how upfront disclosure can prevent the kind of rejection that can lead to grief. They discuss marriage equality issues for disabled people and envision a future where disability is seen not as a burden, but as part of human diversity.

Join Rebecca as she chats with Jacqueline and Alexa about the realities of dating while disabled, the discrimination faced on mainstream apps, and how creating Dateability became both a business solution and a way to process their own grief around acceptance and belonging.

Connect with Jacqueline and Alexa Child:

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Grieve Leave Links:

Newsletter: Sign up at GrieveLeave.com for grief support resource

"Grief is just transition. And when someone passes, they're just transitioning, but it's just a very big transition."

In this powerful episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Thai Branch, a lifestyle influencer turned grief advocate. Thai shares her journey after losing her mother Eula in September 2021, and how it revolutionized her understanding of grief as something that touches every life transition - not just death.

Growing up as the youngest of 15 siblings, Thai was always emotionally intuitive, even giving conflict resolution seminars at age 10 (seriously, listen to the episode to hear her talk about it). But the death of her mom taught her that grief shows up everywhere: graduations, job changes, breakups, birthdays. Thai rejected the "grief hustle" - society's pressure to stay busy and avoid feelings.

Thai and Rebecca explore the delayed nature of grief (it often hits hardest months after loss, not at funerals), the importance of expanding our emotional vocabulary, and how grief can paradoxically set us free. Thai shares moving experiences like visitor dreams where her mother squeezed her hands, and emphasizes how we can still honor a loved one’s presence rather than focus on their absence.

Join Rebecca and Thai as they challenge misconceptions about loss and offer wisdom for navigating life's inevitable transitions - because as Thai reminds us, "you'll be grieving for as long as you're breathing."

Connect with Thai Branch:

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Grieve Leave Links:

Newsletter: Sign up at GrieveLeave.com for grief support resources

"It's my hope that through the Grief’d Up podcast, we spark more of those conversations outside of this setting, that we spark conversations that you can then have with people you love and that you care about."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos, certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave, delves into the often-unacknowledged grief associated with what she calls "what-would-have-been dates". Rebecca shares her personal experience with the upcoming 10th anniversary of her wedding, despite being divorced. She opens up about the "gaping hole" this date creates on her calendar and the societal silence surrounding such milestones.

Rebecca explores the complexities of acknowledging a past marriage, a relationship that ended, or even a loved one's anniversary after their passing. She shares insights from her TikTok community, introducing terms like "noniversary" and "exiversary" as ways people are finding to name these significant dates. She also reflects on her late father's experience with his wedding anniversary after her mother's death, highlighting the unspoken sadness that often accompanies these dates.

This episode challenges the notion that grief is solely tied to death, expanding the conversation to include mental health, breakups, and other significant life changes. Rebecca encourages listeners to sit in the "ickiness" of these feelings and offers validation for whatever emotions arise on these "what would have been dates". She emphasizes that there's no right or wrong way to honor these moments, whether it's by listening to an old song, looking at pictures, or simply allowing the day to be what it is.

Join Rebecca as she normalizes the quiet grief of lost milestones, fostering a conversation that encourages listeners to feel less alone in their experiences. 

This episode also features the perspectives of Grieve Leave community member Greer, from Arkansas, whose voicemail closes out the episode. If you’d like to leave a voicemail for the Grief’d Up Podcast on this episode’s topic, or on any topic, give us a call: (919) 213-1053.

 Grieve Leave Links:

Newsletter: Sign up at GrieveLeave.com for grief support resources

"Resilience is bullshit. I felt incredibly validated by her. Maybe you did too."

In this season finale episode of Grief'd Up, Rebecca Feinglos shares her top five takeaways from conversations that fundamentally shifted how she thinks about grief and loss. She returns to conversations with Erin Levine, JS Park, Amber Jeffrey, Shane Battier, and Jessica Guthrie - each bringing unique perspectives that have continued to resonate throughout the season.

Erin challenged the concept of resilience during her breast cancer journey; hospital chaplain JS offered wisdom on grief support without religious language; and Amber opened up about her complex feelings around having children after experiencing profound loss.

Former NBA player Shane spoke candidly about losing his brother to CTE and a drug overdose, describing the painful "what ifs" that accompany sudden loss. Jessica’s reflection on becoming a caregiver for her mother with Alzheimer's highlighted the impact of labels on both the caregiver and the person receiving care, revealing how her journey to publicly identifying as a caregiver took years but eventually led to recognizing both the challenges and profound meaning in caregiving.

These conversations showcase how differently people experience grief while offering universal insights that Rebecca continues to draw upon in her own grief journey. Through these diverse perspectives - from a divorce attorney navigating illness, a chaplain working across faith traditions, a grief community founder, a professional athlete, and a caregiver advocate - the podcast reveals the many dimensions of loss and how we can support each other through it

No matter where you are in your own grief, there's something here that will speak to your experience, validate your feelings, or offer a new way of thinking about loss that might just help you feel a little lighter. 

Listen to the full length episodes with our guests:

● Erine Levine

● JS Park

● Amber Jeffrey

● Shane Battier

● Jessica Guthrie

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

“For anyone thinking that grief has an end date or timeline—oh my God, get over yourself. It doesn’t.”

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Tara Accardo, founder of Losses Become Gains and host of the Life with Grief podcast. Tara shares her personal journey of navigating loss, including the deaths of both her parents and her beloved dog, Princess. Together, they explore the complexities of grief, the societal expectations surrounding it, and the importance of finding joy and meaning after loss.

Tara recounts her experiences with anticipatory grief as her mother battled esophageal cancer, followed by her father's decline due to prostate cancer. She reflects on the emotional toll of losing both parents, and her dog, Princess,  in such a short span of time– how the pandemic added another layer to her grief journey. Tara emphasizes the significance of community and support, as well as the need to honor the memory of loved ones while also rediscovering oneself in the aftermath of loss.

Join Rebecca and Tara as they discuss the delicate balance between acknowledging grief and embracing the possibility of joy. They delve into the idea that grief is not linear and that comfort can coexist with the pain of loss. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that while grief may shape our lives, it does not have to define them.

Connect with Tara Accardo:

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Follow for more resources:

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“We all have an image of what a good death looks like. The media gives us fairy tale versions of what death should be. But that's not real life. That's not what death looks like.”

In this thought-provoking episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos delves into the complex nature of death and what constitutes a "good death." Drawing from her own experiences of loss, Rebecca shares poignant stories of her mother, father, and grandmother, each showcasing the unique circumstances surrounding they died. Through these narratives, she challenges the fairy-tale portrayals of death often depicted in media, emphasizing that the reality of dying is far more nuanced and painful.

Rebecca reflects on her mother's long battle with glioblastoma, her father's sudden death, and her grandmother's more peaceful death at home, exploring the different impacts these losses had on her and her family. She grapples with the question of whether any of these deaths could be considered "good," and highlights the inherent suffering that accompanies loss, regardless of the circumstances.

Join Rebecca as she navigates the blurred lines between life and death, and the importance of redefining our perceptions of what a good death looks like. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that grief is not a linear experience, and that each person's journey through loss is deeply personal and unique.

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Follow for more resources:

Instagram: @grieveleave

Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

 "When a friend passes away, you often question—what was our relationship? Do I own this grief? Were we actually as close as I think? But grief doesn't work like that. The love was real, and so is the loss."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos engages in a heartfelt conversation with Hannah Rumsey, a writer, performer, and podcaster based in Chicago. After the unexpected death of her close friend Lauren in 2015, Hannah has turned her grief into art, creating a one-woman show and hosting the podcast Friends Missing Friends, where she explores the often overlooked grief of losing a friend. Together, they delve into the complexities of friendship and grief, discussing how societal norms can invalidate the depth of platonic love and the unique challenges faced when mourning a friend.

Rebecca and Hannah share their personal experiences of grief, highlighting the struggle to feel permission to grieve for friends, and the guilt that can accompany such losses. They also discuss the the need for open conversations about grief in all its forms. This episode serves as a reminder that the grief of losing a friend is just as valid and deserving of acknowledgment as any other loss.

Join them as they navigate the intricacies of friendship, loss, and the power of storytelling. This episode is a beautiful testament to the bonds we share and the importance of honoring those we’ve lost, no matter the nature of the relationship.

Connect with Hannah Rumsey:
● Podcast: Friends Missing Friends
● Website: friendsmissingfriends.com
● Friend-Loss Grief Group Interest Form
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Follow for more resources:
● Instagram: @grieveleave
● Website: grieveleave.com
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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

"You can't just do your way out of grief. To truly heal, you have to sit with the hard emotions, let them be a companion, and figure out how to move forward."

In this episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos welcomes Dr. Natasha Trujillo, a counseling and sports psychologist based in Denver, Colorado. Dr. Trujillo, known for her work with athletes and performers, shares her own journey through surgeries due to past athletic injuries, and how this personal experience shapes her professional practice. They dive into the nuanced intersections of grief and identity within the world of sports and performance, offering insights into the emotional challenges athletes face beyond the physical demands.

Rebecca and Dr. Trujillo explore the concept of grief in sports, discussing how athletes cope with mistakes, losses, and transitions. They challenge the "move on" mentality often associated with sports, emphasizing the importance of making space for grief and emotional processing. Dr. Trujillo shares her approach to supporting athletes and performers, highlighting the role of mindfulness, therapy, and identity exploration in navigating grief.

Join them as they discuss the broader impact of grief on athletic communities, the societal pressures athletes face, and the importance of understanding one's identity beyond their sport. This episode offers a compassionate perspective on how athletes and those around them can better support each other through the inevitable losses and transitions in life.

Connect with Dr. Natasha Trujillo:

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Follow for more resources:

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"Grief isn’t something you just tie up in a bow and put on a shelf. You carry it forever, and you learn how to carry it better.”

In this heartfelt episode of Grief'd Up, host Rebecca Feinglos sits down with Kera Sanchez, a mother, educator, and founder of Get Griefy magazine. Kera shares her personal journey through grief after the unexpected loss of her mother in 2022, revealing how talking about her experience became a source of healing and community building. With humor and candor, Kera discusses the complexities of her relationship with her mom, the duality of welcoming a new baby while saying goodbye to a parent, and the unexpected turns in her life that led her to create resources for others navigating grief.

Rebecca and Kera explore the intersections of education and grief, touching on how Kera’s experiences have shaped her approach as a dean and former high school Spanish teacher. They delve into the challenges educators face in supporting grieving students and the importance of having relatable adults who can guide young people through difficult times. Kera’s passion for helping others express their grief shines through as she describes her Legacy Letters Guided Journals and the community-focused Get Griefy magazine.

Join Rebecca and Kera as they discuss the power of storytelling, the role of social media in normalizing conversations about grief, and the transformative potential of sharing our stories. This episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of finding connection and understanding amid loss.

Connect with Kara Sanchez:

● Instagram: @getgriefymagazine

● Instagram: @legacylettersjournal

● Email: [email protected]

● Website: legacylettersjournal.com

● Website: getgriefymagazine.com

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Follow for more resources:

● Instagram: @grieveleave

● Website: grieveleave.com

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Don’t forget to leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!