I am recording this sitting on an ice pack with stitches in my vagina. After the delivery of my daughter, there was a tear. They tried to fix it. It didn't really fix. The doctor said to wait until the next baby, and we can repair it then. I thought that made sense. My daughter just turned five. I have been tolerating a tear in my labia that I didn't want to be there.

I decided I was done waiting.

I was done tolerating.

Hard work is the trait that builds success and destroys intimacy. We were taught that hard work will fix everything. The relationship. The libido. The career. But when hard work becomes your identity, intimacy starts to feel like effort. Relationships feel like effort, not ease.

Women with super traits carry a relentless sense of responsibility and a high tolerance for discomfort. We push through pain, confusion, and rejection. We take pride in holding everything together. We repair for two. We perform for safety. We perform in the bedroom and call that love.

Effort does not equal arousal. Desire needs safety, reciprocity, novelty, and space. Desire cannot live in a nervous system that never rests.

Hard work becomes survival. It keeps us in one-sided relationships. It keeps us trying to fix what is not ours to fix.

Healthy relationships require effort but not suffering. The work should feel mutual. Both people should be active participants in growth.

When you stop working for love and start working from love, everything changes.

-Apply for the Super Traits Society- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to take back your power and create a pleasure-filled life without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE]

Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire.

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