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• New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!
• Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here.  Special limited time discount code: HERBESTLIFE

Episode Summary: In this episode, Gemma Gladstone tackles a listener's question about break-up recovery and the elusive concept of closure.  Drawing from her extensive experience as a therapist over the last 25 years, she provides practical advice on healing after a painful breakup, what to do and what not to do as well as managing lingering feelings.

Key Points:

1. Introduction to Listener's Question:
   • A listener, referred to as "Lisa," shares her experience of a difficult breakup with a partner who exhibited love-bombing behavior.
   • Lisa is conflicted about seeking closure by expressing her feelings to her ex versus moving on without further contact.
2. Understanding Love Bombing:
   • Gemma explains the dynamics of love bombing and its association with narcissistic traits.
   • The importance of recognizing red flags early in relationships.
3. Healing Tips Post-Breakup:
   • No Contact Rule: Avoid all forms of contact with the ex-partner, including social media, to facilitate healing.
   • Avoid Rumination: Recognize and interrupt patterns of overthinking and counterfactual thinking to prevent emotional stagnation.
   • Validate Your Emotions: Acknowledge and accept your feelings of grief and sadness as a natural part of the healing process.
4. Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:
   • Techniques to become aware of and manage unhelpful thoughts.
   • The role of self-compassion in validating and soothing your emotional pain.
5. Avoiding Rebound Relationships:
   • The dangers of jumping into new relationships or casual encounters too soon.
   • The importance of self-reflection and understanding personal patterns before starting a new relationship.
6. The Concept of Closure:
   • Differentiating between seeking resolution and seeking closure.

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Schema Circle Membership - Join Now!

Information about private therapy/coaching with Gemma or Justine email us: [email protected]

 In today's episode, Gemma explores the impact of Defensiveness on relationships, its root causes, and practical steps to overcome it.

Key Points:

1. Defensive Phrases:
   • Common examples: "It's not my fault," "You always," "You never," "You're overreacting."
   • Recognize these as signs of defensiveness.
2. Impact on Relationships:
   • Defensiveness is a relationship killer, identified by John and Julie Gottman as one of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
   • High levels of defensiveness can predict relationship breakup and divorce.
3. Triggers and Responses:
   • Often triggered by low to medium-level criticisms or requests from a partner.
   • Immediate emotional responses include feelings of threat, anger, and injustice.
4. Behavioral Patterns:
   • Refusing to acknowledge wrongdoing.
   • Redirecting blame or overly justifying actions.
   • Counterattacking or withdrawing.
5. Underlying Causes:
   • Common schemas involved: defectiveness, emotional deprivation, mistrust, subjugation.
   • Often stems from childhood experiences with critical or narcissistic parents.
6. Steps to Overcome Defensiveness:
   • Reflect on defensive incidents when calm.
   • Identify triggers and feelings.
   • Recognize the part of yourself you're defending.
   • Acknowledge and validate your vulnerable inner child.
   • Reassure the defensive part of you that you're now an adult and safe.
   • Practice responding calmly and reasonably.
7. Practical Exercise:
   • Sit quietly and recall a recent defensive episode.
   • Identify your reaction and underlying feelings.
   • Visualize a conversation with your inner child and defender.
   • Reassure them and imagine a healthier response in future interactions.

Conclusion: Defensiveness is common but can be managed with self-awareness and compassionate inner dialogue. Reflect, identify triggers, and practice calm responses to improve relationship dynamics.

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now! 

Reparenting is at the heart of schema therapy and you can learn how to do it yourself.
In this episode Gemma and Justine discuss how to start reparenting yourself and provide several practical suggestions for how to get started.  Reparenting is central to psychological and schema healing.  The more you practice, the easier it gets and the  psychologically integrated and connected you will feel. 

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Get the Free Guide on Breaking the toxic ties of Narcissistic parents

Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now! 

In this episode Gemma discusses what puts people at risk of having narcissistic friends.  What are some of the schemas that play a role in this? What can you do if you realise that you have 1 too many self-absorbed people in your life?  It can feel demoralizing and you might feel like giving up.  Gemma then discusses ways for taking care of yourself and increasing your social contact with others. 

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now! 

In this episode Gemma and Justine go back to basics and take a deep-dive into what is a schema or an Early Maladaptive Schema to be precise.    This episode will provide you with the basics of what you need to know if you're wanting to understand schemas more thoroughly or are perhaps confused about the concept and can't quite grasp it.  Hope you enjoy the episode!

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Today we share a clip from our "Schema In Focus" series in our Schema Circle Membership. 
Gemma and Justine discuss this schema in-depth, including its origins, what it feels like, how it is typically triggered and other things to look out for with this schema. 

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🩷 Love Wisely
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Special Announcements:

• New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!

In today's episode  Gemma discusses the invisible reasons why so many women find it hard to leave an unhealthy relationship EARLY.  Based on her experience and knowledge gained from hearing the stories of hundred's of women, Gemma outlines her top 3 schema-related reasons why women don't exit relationships with partners who shows signs of unavailability, control and or narcissism.  
Tune in to find out why you may have gone against your best instincts and hung in there too long hoping for your new partner to change. 

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

In today's episode we play an excerpt from a deep dive discussion on the abandonment schema from our monthly membership program, The Schema Circle.
We discuss the abandonment schema and fine tune it's origins, what it actually feels like and the many triggers for this schema. 

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🩷 Love Wisely
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🌻 Support the Podcast
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Special Announcements:

• New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!

We talk about this so much with our clients.  Sometimes spotting red flags isn't the problem, its acting on them for your own best interests. In today's episode we discuss the main reasons why you might ignore red flags when dating.  We look at the role of core schemas such as 'abandonment', 'emotional deprivation' and 'defectiveness' and how these schema can negatively influence our decision making.  We think you'll enjoy this one if you have ever struggled with leaving a new relationship even though one part of you knew it wasn't right for you. Hope you enjoy. 

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🩷 Love Wisely
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When a schema is triggered, we typically have an urge to respond in 1 of 3 (unhelpful) ways.  In this episode Gemma talks about 'over-compensation' as one of those coping style.  

Over-compensation (also referred to a counter-attack) is one of 3 maladaptive coping styles discussed in schema therapy.  

Gemma reviews examples of over-compensation behaviours associated with each of the 18 schemas (in the original schema model). 

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🩷 Love Wisely
Doors are closed, but join the WAITLIST for the next cohort (Sept 2025): Join here

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🌻 Support the Podcast
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