When we talk about abusive relationships, we tend to focus on physical abuse. That is why leaving a purely emotionally abusive relationship that doesn’t have any physical abuse can be very confusing. If you don’t have a black eye, is it abuse? If he doesn’t push you down or slap you, is it abuse? If she doesn’t throw things at you or put her hands around your throat, is it abuse?

YES. Even if your partner never lays their hands on you, emotional abuse is STILL abuse. Emotional abuse is incredibly damaging and traumatic. Even after you leave the relationship, emotional abuse leaves its mark. It shakes your view of yourself and it threatens your ability to visualize a better future for yourself. It keeps you stuck in a pattern of being wounded and unable to move forward to healing.

Today on “The Language of Love,” I am talking with a woman who bravely left an emotionally abusive relationship. Now, she is looking for ways to heal, but also for ways to co-parent with her ex.

During our discussion, we uncover that my caller routinely finds herself in relationships in which the other partner is the one holding all the cards. She always feels more invested in relationship or as though she is an embarrassment to her partners. She was made to feel demanding or nagging, and as though she has unforgivable flaws that she has to hide or modify if she wants her partner to tolerate her.

I can tell that this is a core wound that is stemming from her childhood, and we peel back the layers of her relationships to find out when these patterns first began in her life. Throughout our discussion, we also talk about how she can heal from her abusive past and effectively co-parent with the ex who tried to destroy her self-worth.

Be sure to tune in to hear my advice, and then share your thoughts with me on social media.

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