Hope For Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are further exploring triggers. We talked about triggers last season in episode 11. Our discussion now will include the sneaky aspect of triggers, more subtle effects. Triggers are annoying and tend to stick around longer than we want them, too. I often hear how my clients are exhausted from the triggers.

We Will be Discussing:

1. Will triggers ever end?
2. What are your thoughts around Dr. Sheri Keffer's quote that says, "Under every trigger is an unhealed wound?"

Resources mentioned in this show:

• Hope For Wives Episode 11: What are Triggers and How to Navigate Them?

• Intimate Deception by Dr. Sheri Keffer

Help Us Help Others:

If you have found our discussions helpful, please consider contributing to the cost of production and syndication. Thank you very much!

Click Here to Donate

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Listen now:

Today, we continue our discussion around denial (or betrayal blindness) and how to navigate the big emotions that surface when denial starts to dissipate.

We Will be Discussing:

1. What happens when she is starting to see reality and come after denial? What's the plan out of the darkness?
2. What grace/hope can we offer our listeners around denial?

And, as always, we end with a word of hope for our listeners.

Scripture references:

Psalm 18:28-30

Help Us Help Others:

If you have found our discussions helpful, please consider contributing to the cost of production and syndication. Thank you very much!

Click Here to Donate

With your Co-Hostesses: Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Welcome to Season 2: At Hope For Wives where we acknowledge the devastation of sexual betrayal and infidelity while offering practical insight and hope for healing, all through a Christian lens. We also hope you'll find some joy through laughter in spite of our serious subject. Pam, Lyschel, and I are returning to the recording studio from a 6 month hiatus which was loudly protested by many of our precious listeners. We heard you! and We also want to model for you what excellent self-care and self-containtment boundaries look like.Before we get into the meat of our discussion today, which is around Denial and Betrayal Blindness, we are going to first briefly remind you all of who we are and our mission with this podcast. Pam – We've seen through the last season that our audience includes not only betrayed partners, but husbands in recovery, CSATs, APSATs, marriage and family therapists, and religious leaders. Lyschel – We commit to continuing to intentionally format this podcast as a "road map to recovery." Bonny – As mentioned in the intro, our mission is to acknowledge the devastation of sex betrayal and infidelity while offering practical insight and hope for healing it's all through a Christian lens and we also hope you'll find some joy through laughter in spite of our serious subject.

We will be discussing:

1. When we talk about a betrayed wife possibly experiencing denial, what do we mean?
2. Did you ever experience denial or "betrayal blindness?"
3. What grace/hope we can offer our listeners?

Catch the rest of this discussion in our next episode. Thanks for joining us for Season 2! If you want to help others find our podcast, please leave a 5 star rating and a positive review. Also, if our discussions have helped you in any way, would you consider donating to the expenses of this podcast, podcast production and syndication all involves fees that we have been paying out of pocket? It would help us tons if you would like to help with production costs.

Help Us Help Others:

If you have found our discussions helpful, please consider contributing to the cost of production and syndication. Thank you very much!

Click Here to Donate

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are discussing a very tender and complicated topic. What is appropriate to disclose to your children about your husband's problematic sexual behavior?

We want to remind you that we are not therapists, we are coaches. We will be giving you what we understand as best practices. You can reach out to us for further discussion, or you can contact a licensed therapist who is APSATS certified to explore this topic. The link to the database of APSATS certified clinicians will be in the show notes.

We will be discussing

• Our personal experience with navigating telling the children
• What is appropriate to tell the children?
• What hope can we leave you with?

Resources

• Banyan Therapy – How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex Addiction

• Disclosing Sex Addiction to Children with Carley Pool and Dr. Jake Porter

• APSATS Clinician Database Search

• Sex Addiction Disclosure to Children: The Parent's Perspective

As a podcast team, we will be taking a hiatus through the holidays and well into 2023.

Thank you for your listenership this far. We value each and every one of you and pray that you are doing the hard work of recovery.

Please reach out to any of us if you have further questions or need care.

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are discussing how to handle anger in a responsible way.

Anger is a part of our make-up as human beings and God put it there. God, himself, displays anger throughout the Bible.

Anger is a part of the threat response when we face a traumatic experience. We either fight, flee or freeze. That fight part is anger.

Anger is also a part of the grief process. We are angry at the injustice of our losses.

The Christian community has a complicated relationship with anger because, let's face it, anger is hard to navigate in a godly way.

We discuss:

• What comes up for you ladies, when thinking about your own story and how anger played a part?
• What purpose does anger serve a betrayed wife?
• When is the line crossed and anger becomes a sin?
• What hope can we leave our listeners about anger?

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are discussing values. Values are a person's beliefs that motivate the way they behave and live out their life. They are also a guide for your behavior.

• What are your definition of values?
• What are our personal two top values and why?
• How can a betrayed wife start to figure out what her values are?
• How are knowing your top values important for establishing boundaries?

Bible References: Matthew 6:24, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Resources: Redeemed Hope Intensive Healing Retreat Information

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are answering two questions that have been submitted to us in the recent months.

The questions are:

• Can you give me some examples of boundaries and consequences?
• I really do not feel co-dependent. So, can you please answer why I want to stay and make this marriage work?

Books mentioned:

Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No and Take Control of Your Life by Cloud & Townsend

Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It by Leslie Vernick

Welcome to Hope For Wives. With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today we are discussing how grief plays a part in our healing from the impact of sexual betrayal.

As I've mentioned in previous podcasts, when the main person in your life betrays you, he murders the trust you had in him. Neurologically, your brain does not know the difference between the death of a person and the death of trust. So, the same process that brings about healing from the death of a loved one is the same process that brings about healing after the death of trust. It's painful, and messy, and often times doesn't make sense.

• We each give a short definition of grief.
• What were your personal experience with betrayal and grief?
• What are some ways you've seen your clients experience grief or things you've learned about grief?
• What practical tools and hope can we leave our friends with, especially for the ones who are fearful of the pain of grief?

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we finish our discussion revolving around trust. How do I restore trust with God?

This may sound a little different as we are having more of a conversation than just answering questions.

We will be discussing:

• Our personal experiences with loss of trust with God
• Is it okay not to trust God?
• How do we hear women talk about their lack of trust with God?

Scripture References: Matthew 5 Judges 5 - 7

Welcome to Hope for Wives

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are continuing our discussion around trust. Our specific topic is, "How do I ever trust My partner, again? How will I ever trust that he loves me, will protect me, won't do this to me again. If I were hurting and sick how do I trust he won't abandon me?"

• We share some of our personal experiences in losing trust with our husbands
• What do we need to rebuild trust in our relationships?
• We explaining the acronym VOWS
• We offer you some hope