Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are discussing values. Values are a person's beliefs that motivate the way they behave and live out their life. They are also a guide for your behavior.

• What are your definition of values?
• What are our personal two top values and why?
• How can a betrayed wife start to figure out what her values are?
• How are knowing your top values important for establishing boundaries?

Bible References: Matthew 6:24, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."

Resources: Redeemed Hope Intensive Healing Retreat Information

Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are answering two questions that have been submitted to us in the recent months.

The questions are:

• Can you give me some examples of boundaries and consequences?
• I really do not feel co-dependent. So, can you please answer why I want to stay and make this marriage work?

Books mentioned:

Boundaries: When to Say Yes and How to Say No and Take Control of Your Life by Cloud & Townsend

Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It by Leslie Vernick

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today we are discussing how grief plays a part in our healing from the impact of sexual betrayal.

As I've mentioned in previous podcasts, when the main person in your life betrays you, he murders the trust you had in him. Neurologically, your brain does not know the difference between the death of a person and the death of trust. So, the same process that brings about healing from the death of a loved one is the same process that brings about healing after the death of trust. It's painful, and messy, and often times doesn't make sense.

• We each give a short definition of grief.
• What were your personal experience with betrayal and grief?
• What are some ways you've seen your clients experience grief or things you've learned about grief?
• What practical tools and hope can we leave our friends with, especially for the ones who are fearful of the pain of grief?

Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com 

Today, we finish our discussion revolving around trust. How do I restore trust with God?

This may sound a little different as we are having more of a conversation than just answering questions.

We will be discussing:

• Our personal experiences with loss of trust with God
• Is it okay not to trust God?
• How do we hear women talk about their lack of trust with God?

Scripture References: Matthew 5 Judges 5 - 7

Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are continuing our discussion around trust. Our specific topic is, "How do I ever trust My partner, again? How will I ever trust that he loves me, will protect me, won't do this to me again. If I were hurting and sick how do I trust he won't abandon me?"

• We share some of our personal experiences in losing trust with our husbands
• What do we need to rebuild trust in our relationships?
• We explaining the acronym VOWS
• We offer you some hope

Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

With your co-hostesses:

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we are beginning a series of discussions about Trust.

Trust is defined as an assured reliance, or firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.  After discovery, typically, a betrayed partner feels a loss of trust in any or all of the following areas: With yourself, your spouse, with others around us, and God.

Our first discussion will revolve around, "How do I trust myself, again?" I trust him and I was completely wrong. I gaslit myself by tamping down my intuition. So, how can I ever trust my own perceptions, again?"

We discuss:

• Personal experiences we had with losing trust in ourselves.
• How do you know when you've lost trust with yourself? Or, how do we see lack of self-trust in our clients?
• How do you know when you are starting to trust yourself?
• How can we offer hope to our listeners that it is possible to build or rebuild trust in themselves after betrayal.

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

Today we extend our discussion around Full Therapeutic Disclosure. We explore some myths around Full Therapeutic Disclosures. We also talk about preparation work and post after-care typically looks. We will be discussing:

• Myths around Full Therapeutic Disclosure
• What preparation work looks like for the betrayed partner and the truth teller.
• What after-care looks like for the betrayed partner and the truth teller.

Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Welcome to another episode of Hope for Wives. Today, we are discussing Full Therapeutic Disclosure.

In the Pyramid of Intimacy, the foundational piece of any relationship is honesty and truth.

The full therapeutic disclosure includes many parts, not just the sharing of truth. Overall, it is a guided process usually led by trained professionals who will help couples get to a level playing field of truth. The intent is to replace lies with honesty so that a new foundation of truth can be re-established and the relationship can begin to rebuild.

• What is the definition of a Full Therapeutic Disclosure?
• If you are a betrayed wife, is there any reason not to have a Full Therapeutic Disclosure?
• Why have a Full Therapeutic Disclosure?
• Hope we offer you around Full Therapeutic Disclosure.

Betrayed Partner Workbook: Full Disclosure: Volume Two (Preparing for Disclosure on your terms)

Truth Teller Workbook: Full Disclosure: How to Tell the Truth after Sexual Betrayal

APSATS radio with Dr. Jake Porter interviewing Stephen Cabler, polygrapher

Welcome to Hope for Wives

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Today, we're going to do something a little different. We are inviting some of our professional male colleagues to share on the topic of, "Is it a struggle, a compulsion, or an addiction?"

The root of this topic comes from questions we get most often, "Do I really need a group when he is just struggling?" Or, "My husband refuses to call it an addiction."

What is underneath this question, is her trying to assess, "What kind of help do I need? He's only struggling? Or, is the help I need different because he's addicted?" Your healing looks very similar whether it is a struggle or an addiction because you are healing from the impact of his behavior, not the severity of his behavior.

We are so thankful to the following male colleagues for joining our conversation.

• Jonathan Daugherty of BeBroken Ministries
• Nick Stumbo of Pure Desire
• Clinton Munoz of Restored2More
• Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith of Restoration Marriage

Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

Today, we are discussing why support groups are important for women overcoming sexual betrayal. For over 50 years support groups have been empirically supported as a place of healing for trauma survivors.  Groups offer partners an opportunity to connect with other partners who really get it because they have been through very similar experiences. Groups help ease partners' emotional stress, including feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression, helplessness and hopelessness. Groups will help strengthen you to cope with the pain and move toward healing. 

We discuss:

• Our personal group experiences. 
• What types of groups are there?
• What makes a healthy group?
• What are some questions to ask the leader?
• How do I know when it's time to join a group?
• How do I know when it's time to leave a group?
• Identify what you hope to get a group
• What hope do we want to leave with our listeners about groups Resources mentioned in this show:

  • Door of Hope trauma informed and professionally trained Peer Facilitators:  https://www.lifeisahead.com/info-partners

  • 12 Step based support groups for family members of addicts and other problematic behaviors: Sanon.org , salifeline.com,  celebraterecovery.com

  • Lyschel's organization Hope Redefined provides many services to betrayed wives, including different types of support groups, https://hoperedefined.org/online-groups/

  • Pam's  "Clarity and Peace with Boundaries" 8 week education and support group for boundaries with your sexually addicted spouse https://recoveredpeace.com/join-the-boundaries-for-clarity-and-peace-course-and-community-experience/

  • The Sarah Society is a safe place for Christian women to share their stories of how a loved one's sex addiction has affected their sense of self, their relationships/marriages, their children, and their outlook on the world.  https://sarahsociety.com/newcomers-meeting/

Thank you for joining us. We hope to be a bright spot on your recovery journey. If you'd like to leave us a question or comment, please go through the contact button on our website. Also, help a friend by leaving a 5 star review on iTunes so others can find us.