Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
This coaching episode covers a lot of ground with a mom who is doing so much right, yet she questions her actions due to lots of advice from others, her mom-intuition and the heightened sense of urgency from her nephew's recent fatal fentanyl poisoning.

This mom and member of The Stream Community is co-parenting her college-age son with her ex-husband and while they're not in total alignment with each other their son seems to be doing "ok" at the time. But because she knows he's using substances while he's away at college, she wonders what to do.

Listen in to hear how:

• after going to wilderness therapy and boarding school, her son is still misusing substances
• she's learned to set and communicate her boundaries when her son comes home from college
• mom wonders if she should be more forceful - or back off - about her son getting therapy or more treatment
• her son isn't experiencing too many negative consequences, so what can she do?
• parents who have already paid a lot for treatment can maximize their investment
• we talk about what happens if her son violates her boundaries, but she still wants to spend time with him
• mom has a goal of getting over her night terrors
• the loss of her nephew to a fentanyl poisoning is impacting her decisions 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When your son or daughter refuses or can't seem to embrace abstinence, what do you do? Harm reduction is an approach that can help navigate your child to safer territory and...it's confusing .

Dee Dee Stout is someone Psychology Today includes in their list of "the top 10 harm reduction names you should know" so I was thrilled she agreed to come back for a second episode of Hopestream.

We dove into:

• what harm reduction is and isn't,
•  how we can strengthen relationships with our kids when they're misusing substances, 
• how to have better conversations, 
• how to improve our family dynamics, 
• lapses and the dreaded pre-lapse
• AA's stance on medication for addiction treatment (MAT)
• and her answer to a common question parents have, " when does harm reduction become enabling with my child?"

It's a hugely informative episode with one of the foremost leaders in the field of harm reduction.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Beyond Addiction, How Science and Kindness Help People Change (book)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The concept of near enemies is helpful to understand when you’re working to parent from an intentional place and avoid unhealthy patterns with your son or daughter. In this episode, you’ll learn what a near enemy is and hear two common ones that show up when parenting a child with substance use issues. You'll discover why these sneaky and sometimes damaging emotional responses can work their way into your relationships without you even knowing, and a simple test and solution you can start using today.

I then provide a tried and true tip for getting through graduation season without losing your mind and offer two ways you can make it to July with your emotions intact and be even healthier and happier than you were in May. It's a snack-sized, actionable episode that's perfect for an early summer dog walk or quick errand run.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Sometimes, there's a story so unbelievable it's hard to know where to start when telling it. This is one of those. My guests are mother (Pattie Vargas) and daughter (Rebekah Mutch), and they trusted me with sharing their family's journey to hell plus the miraculous twist that no one saw coming.

Intertwined with their family's dark tour through decades of addiction is the little-known story of a 50-year-old medical breakthrough that's saved rockstars like Eric Clapton and Keith Richards from their drug addictions. Adding to the storyline, you'll hear how my own son's struggle with substances and the forced isolation of early COVID  led to the unlikely convergence of us all.

It's a binge-worthy episode that merits its own NETFLIX series. You'll come away awestruck by the determination of a Scottish surgeon, the power of a mother's fierce love, the human ability to triumph over addiction, and the realization that parents should never stop clinging to hope.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• NET Trial at Isaiah House
• NET Trial Article
• NIH National Library of Medicine Clinical trial listing
• NET Research Study brochure (download here)
• Hopestream episodes 83 and 86
•  The Final Fix documentary info

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This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) is an evidence-based approach to motivating and inviting someone to make changes in their behavior. It's proven to be an effective way for parents to help their kids who are misusing drugs or alcohol, and is easily accessible to learn and put into practice.

In this episode, I invited CRAFT-certified therapist Erica Lubetkin, LMHC to join me to answer common questions parents have about using CRAFT in the real world. Erica was my guest on episode 96 talking about relapse, and I knew she was the perfect person to dive into the more nuanced details of this parenting approach.

We covered important topics like:

• ideas for parents when you see a pre-lapse
• sober music festivals
• what to do when your child just won't talk or engage with you
• how to use CRAFT when your child doesn't live with or near you
• tips when your child doesn't see that their substance use is a problem
• ideas for using pop-culture trends like "hangxiety" as a connection point
• thoughts on being a safe space and also giving consequences
• what are motivational hooks & windows of opportunity?
• what you can do when you're not on the same page as the person you're co-parenting with
• the CRAFT skill Erica sees parents have the hardest time with
• and other fun things

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream episode 96 with Erica speaking about how to use a CRAFT-informed response to relapse
• We The Village 
• Beyond Addiction, How Science and Kindness Help People Change (book)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It's a question asked by so many parents, "Am I doing enough?" 

In this coaching episode Susan shares how her almost 18-year-old son isn't in legal trouble, is doing fairly well in school, works, and also smokes pot daily, which has her worried. She wonders if she'll regret it down the road if she doesn't engage him in formal treatment before he turns 18.

It's a story many can relate to, knowing your son or daughter could be worse, and at the same time knowing they could be better. Susan talks about what she believes led to her son's substance use, including a divorce from her husband who was dealing with his own addiction. 

She works on getting clear about what she most fears, and what she can and can't live with related to her son's substance use.  We brainstorm communication tactics that might allow Susan and her son to have more real conversations and talk about the possibilities of more serious drug use. 

I can't thank Susan enough for her vulnerability in allowing her coaching session to be used as a way to help other parents in the struggle.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
You've likely seen the A&E show "Intervention" where families work with a professional team to encourage a loved one to go to drug or alcohol treatment, and wondered how much of that is reality vs. Hollywood show. In this episode, you'll hear from someone who's been an interventionist on the show, is a Master's Level Licensed Counselor, Board Certified Interventionist (CIP) and Certified Arise Interventionist. She brings  40 years of experience in the field of addiction and mental health to this very important conversation.

This episode will be helpful if you've questioned what it could be like to take the step of an intervention or of hiring someone to transport your son or daughter to treatment. It's a daunting and scary consideration for most parents and understandably so.

My guest today is Heather Hayes, who has developed the Respectful Adolescent Transport Protocol and Trauma-Informed Responsive Intervention which is used with the families she engages with. We dove deep into topics like; 

• whether treatment needs to be voluntary to be effective, 
• Heather's own substance use, treatment and recovery journey,
• why don't we have addiction drills and education like we do for fire, earthquakes or active shooters when it's more likely to kill our kids
• the average age of first substance use and why that's important
• the state of treatment today for teens and young people
• what can trauma-informed and responsive adolescent transport look like?
• external vs self-traumatization
• family involvement in the intervention or transport process
• what parents can do if they suspect drug use to help inform their decisions
• things parents can and should do (and not do) if you're considering treatment for a teen or college-age child
• what actions support your child's health vs contributing to their demise
• why she prefers to think about fierce protection vs parental denial
• why she believes it's important for parents to step out of their comfort zone when it comes to treatment
• the unique aspect of substance use and addiction that's more hopeful than any other disease
• and so much more

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Heather Hayes & Assoc.
• Resource pack for parents and communities

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you've ever wondered what dopamine has to do with the way we interact with decision making, pain-relief,  pleasure-seeking, addiction and basic human functioning, you're going to want to tune into this episode. I got to sit down with Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation; Finding Balance In The Age of Indulgence, to talk about all of this and more.

Dopamine Nation is a fantastic read if you want to understand more about the science of the brain, addiction, and why we (and our kids) do the things we do.⁠ But we cover more than just dopamine, we also talked about the endless pursuit of instant pleasure our society has adopted and why that's so dangerous - especially for young brains.⁠

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
The emotional distress a parent feels when their child is struggling with or addicted to drugs or alcohol is incomprehensible to the average person. It can begin to debilitate you in ways that impact your day-to-day ability to cope, your health, career, friendships, and family relationships.
 
Through the lens of the second arrow principal, I share ways that parents can minimize their suffering, anxiety, emotional anguish and isolation while their child is actively engaged in misusing substances, or in the early and sometimes fragile days of recovery. 

I share a recent experience where I used some emotional self-regulation tools to dodge the second arrow coming my way and give you 10+ simple and practical ideas for reducing your suffering.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream episode: #77 on self-compassion
• Book: Beyond Addiction - How Science and Kindness Help People Change (Foote, Wilkens)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
It's a cruel twist that just as we moms enter the perimenopause and menopausal phase of life, our kids are at the age when they may be experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol. This combo is the perfect storm of hormones, uncertainty and emotions, and we're often not well equipped to manage it well.

I reached out to my incredible doctor to chat about all things hormones, aging, sleep, digestion, and of course, menopause. But this episode isn't just for the "old ladies" because as you'll hear from Dr. Robin, chronic stress can cause an early onset (30's and 40's!) of menopause and all its fun symptoms.

You'll want to dive into this important episode if you're struggling with weight gain, loss of sleep, brain fog, emotional roller coasters, night sweats, hot flashes - all.the.fun. It's an episode just for the ladies, although men might get a valuable peek into the very real challenges we face during this time in life.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.