Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If there's a perfect storm of complexity and confusion for parents of adolescents and young adults it's the intersection of a mental health condition, neurodiversity, substance use and gender identity. It's overwhelming to know which aspect of these to address first, or do you address them all at once?

Sean Garcia is a licensed therapist in Northern California and is one of a handful of trans-identified clinicians in Silicon Valley. He is extremely passionate about supporting transgender people and their families and we dove deep into how he does that, in particular with young people. 

Sean shares his own experience of coming out to his family and painfully delayed transition,  which caused him to spend many years chronically ill, and overachieving in order to validate to the world that he was "ok."

In this episode, you'll hear so much that will help if you're the parent of a young person struggling with any, or all of these life challenges including:

• the extra challenges of neurodiverse individuals when it comes to gender identity
• Sean's challenge to parents who believe their child's sexual or gender identity is a trend and the popular thing right now
• how he decides what issue to explore first in therapy when there are multiple factors involved
• how a parent's fear often matches a teen's fears around sexual identity, and that they have their own coming out experience 
• common mistakes or missteps parents make that can negatively impact their LGBTQ kids
• one simple question parents can ask their children as they explore their gender and/or sexual identity 
• risk factors parents might not think about when they have a neuro-diverse child with gender identity struggles and/or substance use and mental health issues
• the first things to do, and not to do, when your child comes out (A-T-A)
• what an affirming home environment might look like
• and tons more

This is a do-not-miss episode for parents of these complex kids, and will give you actionable ideas of how to help your son or daughter regardless of their current struggles.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Oh, the places we go in our minds and thoughts when we have a child struggling with substances and mental health. I've been there and know many parents struggle with not letting their thoughts paralyze them in the day-to-day ups and downs they experience.

In this episode I cover nine of the most common unhelpful and unhealthy thinking patterns parents fall into and talk about ways to shift those to a more productive place. If you tend to catastrophize, judge, doubt, criticize or ruminate about your life or your child's life, this is your episode. You'll walk away being more aware of how to recognize these unhealthy patterns and learn ways to change your thinking.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• NET Treatment FDA Clinical Trials: call Isaiah House: 859 - 375 - 9200
• NET Hopestream episodes: #83, #86
• The Final Fix documentary website (film about NET)
• NET Article 
• Taming Your Gremlin book
• Draw Out Your Gremlin worksheet exercise (download here)
• Recovery stories on Hopestream: episodes #90, #76, and #48
• EMDR therapy information and EMDR therapist locator

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In this coaching episode, you'll hear the frustration, confusion and sadness a mom experiences when her 16-year-old son returns from wilderness and residential treatment only to hate where he lives, return to smoking pot, barely makes an effort at school, and doesn't want to be part of the family. On the other hand, he's independent, has a job, accepts natural consequences, and is very resourceful. 

Jane is trying to find the right balance of stepping in and stepping back, and truly wants to find peace and contentment. She struggles to know where she should intervene with her son's school, how to set and hold firm boundaries and desperately would like the family unit to be more cohesive than it currently is.

Listen in to hear the real, day-to-day struggle parents often face when their son or daughter returns from treatment and has to re-enter life under a whole new set of circumstances.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Just hearing the word "trauma" can cause a parent's stomach to turn in knots and create feelings of guilt and regret. We believe we should be able to spare our kids from trauma and might push this aspect aside when seeking solutions or resources.

Steve Sawyer is an expert in trauma and adolescents and joined me for a deeply educational and enlightening conversation around trauma, and why as parents, we need to understand it better.

Steve helps by answering questions like, "if my kids were all raised in the same environment, why is only one using drugs?" Or, "if my child has experienced trauma, won't sending them to wilderness therapy or treatment cause even more damage?" Or, "My child has had a wonderful, trauma-free life, I don't think trauma is an issue." 

In this episode, you'll learn:

• what trauma is, and isn't
• one of the most commonly missed causes of trauma in young people
• why adolescents often turn to substances in the wake of untreated trauma
• how trauma impacts a young person's brain  differently than an adult
• the 6 types of nervous system dysregulation
• why trauma-informed doesn't mean trauma-responsive
• how trauma-informed care is changing in the field of wilderness therapy
• new, more trauma-sensitive models for transporting kids to wilderness
• the role of powerlessness and aloneness in young people
• caregiver responsiveness and the impact it has relative to trauma
• the difference between developmental trauma and PTSD
• a simple project parents can do to assess the need for out of home therapy and transport

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Video: New Visions Wilderness Hosts Dr. Gabor Mate
• New Visions Wilderness - monthly conversation with Steve on Facebook
• Book: The Body Keeps The Score (van der Kolk)
• Instagram: @traumatransformations
• Book: The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate
• Book: The Body Says No, The Cost of Hidden Stress, Gabor Mate
• Brainspotting.com
• Podcast: Trauma and Wilderness Therapy, Stories From The Field
• Book: Transforming Stress For Teens, The HeartMath Solution for Staying Cool Under Pressure
• Training: HeartMath for individuals

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
There's never a shortage of discomfort, distress, or triggers when you have a son or daughter who's misusing drugs or alcohol. You can live in a constant state of unrest and feel as if you have no control over anything.

Taking a bit of inspiration from a Peloton instructor during my ride the other day, I share in this episode how parents can use simple rituals to withstand the varying levels of chaos, unpredictability, and frequent triggers in their day-to-day lives.
 
I also distinguish the difference between a ritual and a habit, and why that's important when you're looking to calm your nervous system. You'll walk away with ideas of rituals that you can use or modify so you get immediate impact from the episode.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream episode 100

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When you're the mom of a teen who's been struggling with addiction for years it can be easy to get discouraged and frustrated. It's hard to understand why it happens to your family, difficult to watch other people's kids do well, and you wonder what's the right next thing to do.

In this coaching/inspiration episode, you'll meet Cielo, a mom who's been through an unimaginable struggle with her son and who has one of the most positive and resilient spirits I've ever seen. Cielo is a member of The Stream who always brings a smile and sense of hope and strength to our events and calls.

You'll hear how she's navigated her son's addiction to opiates while raising two other kids, maintaining her marriage oh, and holding down two jobs. It's an episode that will lift you up if you're feeling like you can't keep going and was an absolute pleasure to record with this incredible woman.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome information PDF (download)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Dr. Brad Reedy is a household name in the world of adolescent mental health and substance use treatment, is founder of a well-respected wilderness therapy program, Evoke, author of two books on parenting, and podcast host of over 450 episodes of Finding You, so sitting down and chatting was quite an honor.

Dr. Reedy and I talked about a wide range of topics mostly focused on a parent's way of being and how he helps parents in their search for being better for their kids. We talked about:

• why he doesn't prescribe actions for parents to take with their kids, 
• what healthy attachment actually is,
• the backstory on why he chose to become a therapist and work with young people,
• the question parents never ask him,
• the interesting advice he most often receives from people,
• how he can tell when a parent starts to "get it" and are on the path to more conscious parenting
• a lightbulb moment he had with his therapist
• what it means for parents to "do their work"
• and his thoughts on the long-term impact of COVID on our kids

It's a very special episode with a very special guest!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Audacity to Be You
• The Journey of The Heroic Parent
• Finding Joe
• Finding You - Evoke podcast
• Evoke blog articles

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
In the past 2 years, I've had the privilege of speaking with over 50 of the top experts in the fields of psychology, addiction, adolescents, parenting, and specific treatment modalities. I've asked the hard questions, listened with curiosity, and dug deep to find the right people to help parents who have a child experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Through the 99 episodes I've created since January of 2020, there are 11 insights and truths that have risen to the top over and over - transformational findings I believe to be instrumental in helping you as a parent of one of these special kids, and in helping your child as well.

In this episode, I share those 11 key observations and resources for learning more about them.  You'll find a downloadable PDF with each insight and the resources linked at www.brendazane.com/100.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you have a son or daughter with ADD or ADHD you already know the struggle...especially if it's not officially diagnosed and you're floundering with the very real symptoms. You probably also know about self-medicating with marijuana and the slippery slope that follows.

Dr. Ned Hallowell, prolific author (most recently ADHD 2.0) and renowned ADD specialist joined me for this highly informative conversation all about teens and young adults, ADD, and why it's vital to get the right treatment.

We covered a lot of ground including:

• his rule for parents about worrying
• why Dr. Hallowell focuses on turning ADHD symptoms on their head
• famous people with ADD
•  the challenge of the "moral diagnosis"
• why he recommends medication as the #1 way to help avoid substance use in a young person with ADD, 
• AND what must be combined with the meds for successful treatment
• why he's writing his 21st book
• common issues people with ADD share
• the importance of the right school
• and tons more

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Dr. Ned Hallowell

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Our coaching episodes are always hugely popular and today you'll get to hear how Mandy is dealing with a high-risk teenager who's been to residential treatment and is now home, returning to old habits (marijuana) and friends, and is newly on probation...⁠
⁠
Plus she works for the city she lives in, so from the police chief to the judge who sentenced her son, all eyes are on her.⁠ Oh, and on top of that, she has two other sons and a husband, all of whom need her time and attention. Add in COVID and a few other obstacles and you can start to understand the difficult place she's in.⁠

Mandy shares:

• how she's getting over the "denial" phase about her son's behavior and conduct⁠
• her son's mental health diagnosis, ⁠
• why she and her husband decided against the advice of therapists to bring their son home from residential treatment, and how that's working out⁠
• how this experience has impacted her marriage⁠
• why she's trying not to "fix" or rescue her son anymore⁠
• how she's able to find self-compassion⁠
• why she's worried about her son's brain health⁠
• and where she'd like to be in 6 months

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.