Listen as I talk with Jennifer and answer the question “How can I be present when grief is always reminding me of what could have been?“ Jennifer shares the story of her relationship, her husband’s cancer diagnosis, and her experience of being a new mom of twins while navigating the grief of losing her husband. Now, five years later, she feels split between being present in her daily life and grieving the life she didn’t get to live with her late husband. Jennifer and I talk more about what it really means to be present in her life. She describes the cloud she feels hanging over her, reminding her of what could have been. We discuss how accepting that her family looks different doesn’t dishonor her late husband—it can help her find more peace with her current reality. You can find Jennifer on Instagram @cocoscaravan 

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I be present when grief is always reminding me of what could have been?

Each week Dr. Hanks coaches a real person through a common life challenge. Listen to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks for healing conversations that educate and empower women to prioritize their needs, revolutionize their families, and personalize their faith.

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This bonus episode of the podcast is for anyone who is wanting to step back from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while also protecting their mental health. Listen as fellow LDS therapist Valerie Hamaker and I share insight on important topics like why people choose to leave  the LDS Church after a faith transition and how to develop the crucial skill of setting boundaries. Stepping back? How to Leave in a Psychologically Healthy Way If you choose to leave and want to protect your mental health, Valerie and I are hosting a discussion series just for you. This 4-week Q&A; discussion series will help you find clarity, set boundaries, maintain relationships, and build community.

The discussion covers potential challenges such as navigating changes in relationships with family and the larger community, managing internalized beliefs and fears, and the grief that accompanies leaving one's spiritual community.  Each hour session is held remotely via Zoom. Spots are extremely limited, so don’t wait to sign up. Four hour-long sessions with two therapists is an absolute steal of a deal. While this series is valued at $2,000, you can sign up today for only $169. Stepping back from the Church? Join us here

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Bonus Episode: Stepping back from the LDS Church? How to do so in a Psychologically Healthy Way with Valerie Hamaker

Listen as I chat with Alyssa and answer the question “How do I heal from a patriarchal marriage and let go of resentment I’m carrying towards the LDS Church?” Alyssa and her husband reevaluated the lessons they were taught about marriage and have worked to move toward a partnership model. She feels angry when she thinks about the time she lost living in a patriarchal marriage and sad when she thinks about her past self who didn’t feel empowered. I invite Alyssa to allow herself to feel the anger that comes up when she thinks about what she lost. Pushing the anger away will only prolong her healing. No experience is wasted. There are opportunities Alyssa didn’t have in a patriarchal marriage, and she also gained certain experiences during that time that help her to be who she is today. There are opportunities wasted, but the work that she has been doing is still meaningful. Caring for a home and family is meaningful work. And now she gets to do it consciously and with balance while building a life she loves. 

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How do I heal from a patriarchal marriage and let go of resentment I’m carrying towards the LDS Church?

In this podcast episode I sit down with Mallory and answer the question “How do I pursue a high-powered career and still show up as the mom I want to be?” Mallory recently went back to work part-time and is feeling immense guilt. It feels like she can’t win: When she is at work, she feels like she should be staying home with her children (and feel fulfilled while doing it). And when she is at home with her kids, she feels like she should be working harder. I point out that Mallory is carrying around a lot of “shoulds.” We unpack why she struggles to prioritize her needs and wants. We also do an exercise that could be helpful for those listening if you also struggle with the guilt that comes from feeling there are things that you “should” be doing. 

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How do I pursue a high-powered career and still show up as the mom I want to be?

In this episode I talk with Diana and answer the question “How can I better communicate to my husband that I’m not comfortable letting our child sleep at my in-laws’ house?” Diana is not okay with either herself or her child sleeping there because years ago, her father-in-law was arrested for child molestation. Her husband has struggled to respect this boundary. Diana and I roleplay a conversation with her husband where she holds this boundary firm. She has the right to say no to sleepovers, to trust her intuition, and to set this boundary. Her husband does not have to understand or agree for her to set this boundary, even if it makes things awkward for a time. Diana’s number one job is to keep her child safe. 

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I better communicate to my husband that I’m not comfortable letting our child sleep at my in-laws’ house?

In this episode, I chat with Christine and answer the question “How should I approach my daughter’s upcoming baptism when I don’t believe 8-year-olds are capable of making this choice?” Christine and her husband have several valid hesitations about their daughter getting baptized when they aren't sure that she really understands what she would be committing to. Christine and I unpack her concerns and I challenge the thought that her daughter has to be totally “ready” to commit to baptism before she moves forward with it. We also chat about how Christine and her husband can help their daughter develop her sense of self, how they can teach her the values that are important to them, and how they can encourage their daughter to avoid the rigid thinking that is sometimes common in the LDS Church. 

 Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify. If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I be present when grief is always reminding me of what could have been?

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