Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

185: How can we raise resilient children?


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A lot of parents (and teachers) are concerned right now about children's resilience. Will they 'bounce back' from the difficulties of the pandemic?
But is 'bouncing back' really the way we should be thinking about this? We have all been changed by the pandemic; shouldn't we acknowledge this and see how we can be the best versions of ourselves, incorporating what we've been through over the last few years, rather than trying to 'bounce back' into what we were before (which frankly wasn't all that amazing in a lot of cases, as we rushed from one thing to another with never any time for ourselves).
In this episode we also consider Black and Indigenous researchers' perspectives on resilience, and see how their ideas can perhaps shift how we perceive resilience - and thus how we support our children.
 
Other episodes referenced
069: Reducing the impact of intergenerational trauma
140: Mythbusting about fat and BMI with Dr. Lindo Bacon
137: Psychological flexibility through ACT with Diana Hill
148: Is spanking a child really so bad?
098: Do school shooter trainings help (or hurt) children?
114: How to stop 'othering' and instead build 'belonging'
074: Attachment: What it is, what it's not, how to do it, and how to stop stressing about it
106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting 
 
Jump to highlights:
01:10 Introduction
01:34 Defining resilience from various perspectives
03:16 Resilience requires exposure to some kind of threat or severe adversity
06:37 What a lack of resilience looks like and how to measure its absence
08:16 Measuring resilience in research
09:08 The challenge of defining ‘protective’ factor
10:00 The history of research on resilience
12:03 The importance allowing children to cope with mild stressors
14:40 The Indigenous resilience
17:17 The control and dominance of indigenous peoples in Canada achieved through education and immersion in settler culture
19:25 The importance of resilience culture in Indigenous communities
21:02 A model of resilience by Dr. Edith Grotberg
27:01 Resilience determined by the dominant culture's expectations of normal, healthy, and good outcomes
30:08 The real purpose of resilience
32:18 What happens when a person isn't deemed to be resilient and why that is
33:46 Resilience as a code for social compliance
38:59 What true resilience should be about (based on the story about the Claremont Counseling Center's community building)
40:53 Wrapping up
 
References
 
Aranda, K., Zeeman, L., Scholes, J., & Morales, A. S-M. (2012). The resilient subject: Exploring subjectivity, identity and the body in narratives of resilience. Health 16(5), 548-563.
 
Block, P. (2008). Community: The structure of belonging. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler.
 
Grotberg, E. (1995). A guide to promoting resilience in children: Strengthening the human spirit. Early Childhood Development: Practice and Reflections Number 8. Bernard van Leer Foundation.
 
Gutman, L.M. (2018). Risk and resilience. Reference Module in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-809324-5.21835-X
 
Henderson, J., & Denny, K. (2015). The resilient child, human development and the “postdemocracy.” BioSocieties 10(3), 352-378.
 
Hess, J. (2019). Moving beyond resilience education: Musical counterstorytelling. Music Education Research 1`(5), 488-502.
 
Kirmayer, L.J., Dandeneau, D., Marshall, E., Phillips, M.K., & Williamson, K.J. (2011). Rethinking resilience from an indigenous perspective. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry 56(2), 84-91.
 
Liu, J.J.W., Reed, M., & Girard, T.A. (2017). Advancing resilience: An integrative, multi-system mode of resilience. Personality and Individual Differences 111, 111-118.
 
Lopez, M., Ruiz, M.O., Rovnaghi, C.R., Tam, G.K-Y., Hiscox, J., Gotlib, I.H., Barr, D.A., Carrion, V.G., & Anand, K.J.S. (2021). The social ecology of childhood and early life adversity. Pediatric Research 89(2), 353-367.
 
Luthar, S.S., Cicchetti, D., & Becker, B. (2000). The construct of resilience: A critical evaluation and guidelines for future work. Child Development 71(3), 543-562.
 
Masten, A.S. (2001). Ordinary Magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist 56(3), 227-238.
 
Masten, A.S.. (2021). Resilience in developmental systems: Principles, pathways, and protective processes in research and practice. In Ungar, M. (Ed.), Multisystemic resilience: Adaptation and transformation in contexts of change (p. 113-134). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
 
Masten, A.S., and Barnes, A.J. (2018). Resilience in children: Developmental perspectives. Children 5, 98.
 
McCalman, J., & Bainbridge, R. (2021). Indigenous education, well-being, and resilience – a systemic approach. In Ungar, M. (Ed.), Multisystemic resilience: Adaptation and transformation in contexts of change (p. 199-219). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
 
McGuire, P.D. (2010). Exploring resilience and indigenous ways of knowing. Pimatisiwin: A Journal of Aboriginal and Indigenous Community Health 8(2), 117-131.
 
Rutter, M. (2012). Resilience as a dynamic concept. Development and Psychopathology 24, 335-344.
 
Thomas, D., Mitchell, T., & Arseneau, C. (2015). Re-evaluating resilience: From individual vulnerabilities to the strength of cultures and collectivities among indigenous communities. Resilience 4(2), 116-129.
 
Traub, F., & Boynton-Jarrett, R. (2017). Modifiable resilience factors to childhood adversity for clinical pediatric practice. Pediatrics 139(5), e20162569
 
Solkoski, S.M., & Bullock, L.M. (2012). Resilience in children and youth: A review. Children and Youth Services Review 34, 2295-2303.
 
Wexler, L. (2013). Looking across three generations of Alaska Natives to explore how culture fosters indigenous resilience. Transcultural Psychiatry 51(1), 73-92.
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