How To Be Awesome At Everything

We are exactly halfway through the year!

Lindsay likes the 2nd half of the year goal setting almost more than January 1st goal setting because it gives more of a tangible deadline. It's hard to see a whole year forward but it's not as hard to see 6 months forward.

So in this episode, we're going a check-in. Where are we at, halfway through this year and where do we want to be at the end of the year?

Asking ourselves questions like…

What were your goals at the beginning of the year? Are they the same or have some things changed now? What are the things that you keep telling yourself you need to start but haven't yet? What is something you for sure want to experience or accomplish before the end of the year? And what would make you feel the most proud of yourself?

Time goes FAST so let's hit pause on life for a few minutes today to be honest with ourselves and intentional about how we spend the next 6 months so we don't wake up on December 31 in the exact same place we are today. We can accomplish so much in 6 months. Let's go!

-Let's ask ourselves these questions!!

Journal it!

-What were your goals at the beginning of the year?

-Are they the same or have some things changed now?

-What are the things that you keep telling yourself you need to start but haven't yet?

-What are some things that know you need to stop doing? Habits that aren't serving you…

-What feels on balance and off balance with how you spend your time and your overall life priorities?

-What am I doing awesome at and what am I sucking at?

-What is bringing you the most JOY and the most stress?

-How is your own personal health?

-How is the health of your relationships?

-What is something you for sure want to experience or accomplish before the end of the year?

-What would make you feel the most proud of yourself?

Self esteem is everything.

-What is working with your day-to-day schedule and habits?

Let's not just go through the motions!!! Let's make sure we are spending our time and money doing things that make us happy and move us forward!

Don't do this half way!! Spend the hour it takes to really be honest with yourself and plan. Awesome things will come from it… we promise!!

What is your go-to activity when you want to cope with a stressing situation or procrastinate on doing something hard?

What do you do when you don't want to be present in the moment? What distractions do you allow when you're working with a task that is overwhelming or uncomfortable?

Most of us spend a good chunk of our life numbed. Doing things without intention that don't really make us feel fulfilled (even if we sort of think they do in the moment)… leaving us feeling more anxious, sad, sometimes lonely and less motivated and certainly moving slower towards the goals we want to accomplish.

-Here are some examples..

Sugar, booze, hours scrolling on social media, busy being busy, online shopping, over-buying, hours spent binging TV.

These habits aren't necessarily bad… but if we engage in them too often OR we think that they make us happy but actually make us feel worse OR if we are using them to numb ourselves… it's a problem!

Numbing habits are things we do to avoid, procrastinate or distract ourselves from really feeling the feelings we are feeling or doing the hard things that need to be done.

Today, we're unpacking how we numb and how to undo these habits in a way that makes it last. So we can live very intentional and present lives.

-We don't want to feel uncomfortable so we search out things that make us feel comfortable and allow us to procrastinate.

-We don't want to risk rejection or failure so we avoid uncertain situations.

-We don't want to be present in the moment so we distract ourselves scrolling on our phone.

-What if we faced this numbing habits head on- and found a way to not go back to them, ever.

-Most advice would be - delete the app, avoid social media for a month, etc. And while this could work for some, it doesn't get to the ROOT of the issue.

-Here's the tactical practical advice on this… feel all the feelings. Be honest with yourself about what you are avoiding, procrastinating on etc. So you can work through it and decide to not deal with it in the same way. Once you understand why you do it, it's much easier to switch out that action with another one that actually serves you.

-Maybe something is uncomfortable or challenges you - Lindsay did this a ton in business. Rather than making the hard call or finishing the long report, she'd let it sit on her to do list and be busy staying busy- fully avoiding the hard and uncomfortable. Not moving forward in the way we should because we get ourselves stuck- stuck in avoiding. Avoiding risk of failure or rejection, so we don't actually do the things. Procrastinate and distract instead.

-Let's talk about more examples…

-Social media -many layers to this but comparing to others often and spending way more time than you want… just scrolling… looking for nothing in particular.

-Texting - great to connect with friends and family but also can be a huge time suck and addictive.

-Video games,TV & movies - often avoidance! And like social media- can make us compare our lives to the ones on TV and feel worse.

-Being busy-so busy you aren't actually present. For this, it's time to sit for 10 minutes and do nothing. Recenter, be present, feel the uncertainly, even if you feel like you should get up and do something, do nothing.

-addictions - booze, drugs, smoking, gambling, sugar - alllll ways to numb out feelings you don't want to feel. You are triggered to go to these when you are stressed or sad or mad or tense… it's a way not to feel it.

Comfort foods/ overeating - if it ends up making you feel worse, it's not healthy.

Losing it/having a crazy moment - it's like if you bang your elbow, you yell at the last person who slightly irritated you. Rather than losing it, lean into the insecurity or actual feeling. Rather than taking it out on someone else.

-You think… scrolling IG makes me feel happy.

-But if you're spending 2-3 hours per night, actually it's not helping you… it's keeping you stuck and making you depressed. Less confidence and less motivated.

-Often we try to change the habits by saying these habits are bad I need to stop. I'm into sure this is sustainable. Rather than trying to change the behavior, let's try to understand the role it plays in our life.

-Think about January 1st, people make resolutions… and most people stick to them for a few weeks at max and then go back to the regular ways.

-But they didn't address the actual issue- like your numbing your work stress with alcohol, etc.

-WHY this is so important

SO much of the quality of our health comes down to lifestyle and environment.

Stress- emotional stress is REAL and it can make us sick like other things can. Emotional stress needs to be neutralized - that's when we numb out with a bad habit.

-If we are honest with ourselves, we might see that we had a few extra glasses of wine or bars of chocolate to numb it.

-WAKING UP 90

What will you regret the least?

-Designing your life- not just going with the flow

As a kid- we are taught to stand in lines and not jump in muddy puddles.

-One other thing - we sometimes numb who we are so we dont stand out or to be seen as weird. Because we worry about the judgment of other people.

-PROCRASTINATIONS and DISTRACTONS

-Here's the thing about when you refrain from running from your feelings. They are not comfortable, but they aren't unbearable. You are stronger than you think. And the more you flex this muscle, the stronger it gets. Once you get comfortable being uncomfortable, you have more confidence and comfort. Physically change your state- go for a bike ride or a run, listen to loud music, you don't have to sit in a dark room alone to feel the feelings, but you should

-It's OK to feel sad, to feel stress. It's one of the best forms of self love actually… to not reject your feelings and experience the presence.

Feel all the feelings, stop your numbing habits and really feel alive and present each day… that's the goal!

Do your people really KNOW how you feel about them? Like do they know how much you love them and why you love them - all of it?

One of the biggest lessons learned in the last month is how important it is to LOVE YOUR PEOPLE HARD.

It's just so easy to get caught up in routine and the daily to do's and before you know it, the day is done and it's time to sleep then do it all over again.

Sometimes that means slowing down and other times it means setting rules so you don't miss the good stuff.

Lots and lots of ideas of how you can show your people love on the daily.

Lindsay talks about the changes she's made in her life since her husbands health scare. One of the biggest- showing her people how much she loves them on the daily.

We only have so much energy in a day. And since we know… where attention goes, energy flows, we have to be super careful about what we spend our physical and mental energy on. Because time spent worrying about things that don't really matter, take away from time spent on the important stuff.

It's so easy to be frustrated and distracted - both things that take us further from the goal.

-Here is how Lindsay adds habit triggers:

Like the podcast tips on habits in general - put things out or stack them!

Like put things in the tray in the kitchen or in the bedroom - to remember to do it.

OR do it RIGHT AFTER something else. So it happens. This is a great way to actually change - and not stay the same. It's hard to change your ways especially if you have done the same things for a long time. These are the BEST strategies for adding in more LOVE routines to your life.

-Here are the ways Lindsay does it:

10 minutes per kid each night before bed doing whatever it is that is best for them.

More physical! Hugs, taps, squeezes.

And THOUGHTFUL things.

Eye contact - being present. Knowing they are important.

We need more human touch because we are all online so much!

Saying no or cancelling plans when you need it.

Show appreciation

Be spontaneous

Celebrate what makes them unique

Compliments

Thoughtful gifts

Celebrate them! Birthdays or wins

Do activities they like

Take good care of them when they are sick

Movie night

Hold hands

Do a chore for them - like getting gas or picking up prescription, dry cleaning. Something you wouldn't do normally.

-Ways people sent in!

Bring coffee

Phone call, text, say I love you.

1 on 1 time with each person

Date nights

Check in on them

Ordering something that will make life easier - new to go cup, key tile

Reflecting on the day at bedtime ex: I saw you were determined etc

Making coffee / tea each day

Buying favorite snacks/wine

Stop and hug my people, even when im busy

Call/text when they're going through a rough time. Offer my time to help.

Random text when thinking of a friend

Lunch ones for kids and husband

Surprise fav drink or snack

Good night and good morning routines to start and end the day with love and gratitude

Pack healthy snack for office

Make them laugh, hide notes or a card

Listening to people

Being present when we are all together

Send texts to my teens wishing a good day and reminding I love you

Wellness check texts!

Watch their fav shoes instead of yours

Conversation cards on long trips - ask questions

Scratch hubby's back while he brushes teeth

Be present - turn off phone

Cooking healthy food for them

Cook and bake for them

Serve hubby dessert with night meds in his chair

I try to do 1 on 1 things that fills their love language even if it is not the way I normally show love.

Randomly send friends a Starbucks gift card

Folding their laundry

Make sure they know how I feel on the regular

Always kiss my kids good night at every age

Organize husbands supplements

My hubby tucks in my sheets at night so I'm extra comfortable

CHEERS to loving your people HARD!

Lindsay tells the story of her husband going into cardiac arrest in the ICU a few weeks ago. So much packed into this episode that we think will be interesting and valuable to you.

Lindsay talks about these lessons learned (and more)…

-Family is amazing, the best!

And you can double that feeling by finding friends who become your family too.

-When it comes to your health and the health of those you love, you have to always ask questions and lean into how you feel. Not because anyone isn't doing their best, but because everyone has their own set of experiences and you aren't their only patient. Must listen to your body, and must keep pushing for answers and get more people involved if you aren't moving in the right direction.

Go in to the doctors at the first sign of something weird, don't wait.

-The little things don't matter.

where attention goes, energy flows. Anytime anything annoying or negative came up, I told myself, nope, we don't have the bandwidth for that. No attention goes there.

It's amazing how powerful this is in protecting your mental headspace (which I'm all about).

-Positive thinking heals you faster.

When things were going downhill quickly last Thursday, I told all his doctors… we aren't telling him anything he doesn't need to know today. They were trying to figure out why his organs were failing quickly but as more bad news came in, I had them tell me, not him. Because if you are told you are getting worse, you believe it and your thoughts become that. But if you're told you are on the path for healing, you believe that and that becomes your reality.

-Train daily to be tough.

I haven't always been good under pressure but this time I was. And to be honest I'm proud of myself.

I'm proud that I didn't crumble and was able to stay strong in the most heartbreaking moment I've ever been faced with… and to get the right people there to help him and then be ready to support him.

-You can control your thoughts.

As I've needed to really put on my big girl pants and be strong this week, I've realized how much you can actually control your thoughts. The minute I would get to where I could lose it totally I thought, we aren't going to go there right now. And I stopped, no crying or replaying all of the what-ifs.

I still believe in feeling alllll the feelings and getting it all out (if you listen to my podcast you know this)… but I also know there's a time that it can serve you and times when it doesn't. When it's a time that doesn't, controlling your thoughts can be the most powerful thing.

-Love your people hard.

After each procedure and scan and episode, I hugged and kissed Craig so hard and told him how much I loved him. Over and over.

It made me think about doing this more. I never want to get too caught up in routine that I skip over kissing my peoples faces and hugging them and telling them how much they mean to me. Even if they already know ❤️

Answering questions!

-what did you tell the kids and how did they handle it?

-how did you take care of the kids?

-how can he prevent it from happening again?

-what were the warning signs?

-what gifts did friends give that were helpful or what did they do?

-how did you keep the emotional exhaustion from wiping you? I would be curled up in bed

-As an ICU nurse, I'd love to hear what you found helpful and not helpful with nurses

-what's craigs long term prognosis

-How are you holding up?

-How you kept from falling apart when he was in the hospital

-Did you feel comfortable leaving him alone in the hospital?

-What heart irregularities was he born with?

-Have some wisdom for food in a crisis, I feel like you weren't eating McDonalds.

-How much did you tell each of your kids and how did you keep your composure?

-Who took care of the kids during that time?

-How do you manage being strong for your kids while also being emotional and scared?

-How you advocate for him without seeming rude or overreactive?

-what is top strategy you used to stay calm and strong?

-How to navigate check-ups and hereditary stuff

-how do you balance taking care of kids, Craig and yourself during this time

-how do you not live in fear after?

-the initial stage when you aren't sure whats happening and have to trust the doctors

-how to radiate down to earth positivity always but handle life when it gets so scary

-do you keep all the info organized in a book?

-how to balance internet research of it

-how can you have a plan in place for emergencies like this?

-What is his health plan moving forward?

CHEERS to your good health and happiness!

It's so much fun to throw a party… especially kids parties, but one downside is that it's SO MUCH WORK to set-up, followed by the party- lots of fun but for a relatively short period of time, followed by the clean-up. It's really easy after it's over to feel bummed that it's over or wonder if all of your hard work was worth it! I have 3 hacks for this. 1. Plan so that you ENJOY the party- not work the party- I did a podcast recently on this. 2. Make sure you get all the photos and videos that you want - so the fun memories live on forever. And 3. Maximize your party fun with a little pre-party and/or after-party. It's so easy and literally doubles your fun from just the party- to a whole other experience. And the best part is - you do very little for it. The whole point is to enjoy the pre or post party set-up and enjoy in the party space. Today we're talking all about adding a little party before or after your party so that you have double the fun, without much extra work. -Party planning has to be fun - you MUST enjoy the process!! WAYS TO DO IT!! Pre-parties -plan for food. -have people help you set-up for party - offer food and drinks - they will come. -ask how much to rent bounce house or ball bit for extra time- it's usually not much more. -enjoy the party space and get helping hands in the set-up of it After-parties -great way to be sure all treats get eaten -pancake breakfast next morning -plan for food OR have vendors from main party make extra and pack it up to serve later. -use decor to keep the party going. -have a helper to pickup if your after party is right after. -have people stay later - or come back at night for party 2 (Lindsays fav). -if you have a kid party during the day, invite adults over at night- same party space, double the fun! You literally DOUBLE your FUN with very little cost and effort. This one is a MUST listen and a MUST do. CHEERS!