Marni welcomes Dr.Abby Mecalf to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo dismantle pre-held beliefs about the secret to a successful relationship. Abby is a psychologist and a relationship maven who also happens to be a podcast host. Throughout this episode, they look into one of the leading causes for the failure of a relationship. And it’s not communication, it’s competition that influences the dynamics within a relationship. 

 

*         Why do so many relationships fail?

*         How to stop Comparing

*         Find common ground

 

It’s Actually Not Just About Communication [06:42] 

We’ve been told over and over again that the main reason relationships fail is bad communication. But there’s another cancer under that. And it's a competition.

This is competition for resources, for time, for money, for things in the family. If you’re in competition with someone, you don’t want them to win.

 

That Sounds Like a We Problem [12:59]

Instead of viewing an issue as one partner’s problem, look at it as a shared problem. When you do that, you both actively engage in shared problem solving. And rather than blame each other, you manage to actually find a solution that works for both of you. 

Everything is a we.

 

Set Your Boundaries Right [28:12]

Merely expressing a preference is not setting a boundary. A boundary needs to have consequences if it is not respected. When you set a boundary, it doesn’t mean you’re more important than your partner. It just means you’re as important. 

‘I feel upset when you talk to me that way.’ That’s your feeling. A Boundary has to have teeth.

 

Make a Connection:

·         3 Secrets Men Wish You Knew *Free Download*

·          Are You Making These Unconscious Mistakes With Men? *Free Training*

·          Ready To Take Control Of Your Dating Life?  Book A Call With Us

·          Dr. Abby Medcalf's website

·          Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy *Get your copy Now!*