Relationship conflict doesn’t have to feel like walking on eggshells. With the right tools and a sense of confidence and self trust, even the messiest moments can become turning points for deeper intimacy. This conversation with relationship expert Baya Voce is packed with research-backed relationship advice that helps you understand why you fight the way you do—and how to shift patterns that have followed you for years.

 

You will learn... 

• what healthy fighting look like and how to navigate conflict with confidence
• the different types of toxic tendencies many of us default to when triggered
• do men and women differ when it comes to default patterns?
• Gottman’s 4 Horsemen, the subtle-but-deadly behaviors that quietly erode connection
• what to do when you’ve asked your partner to change, but they can’t or won’t
• how to decide whether to stay in or leave a relationship

 

Remember: A healthy relationship isn’t defined by “never fighting.” It’s about navigating conflict with confidence, a regulated nervous system, and trust in your ability to repair.

 

Baya Voce is a relationship repair expert helping couples fight better and make up faster. She holds an MSW from Columbia University, is in ongoing supervision with Esther Perel, and is trained and mentored by Terry Real. Baya collaborates with Columbia University, MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies), and Rick Doblin on pioneering research into MDMA-assisted couples therapy. She regularly speaks at SXSW, and with over 5 million views, her TEDx talk on loneliness highlights the often-overlooked impact of relational disconnection.

 

Follow Baya on Instagram: @bayavoce

Baya’s Workbook on How To Bridge the “Effort Gap” in Your Relationship 

Get Baya’s free guide on what to say to your partner after a fight

 

And if you enjoyed this episode, share it with the women in your life to spread the gift of self love! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @bayavoce

 

 

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