We go to great lengths to avoid having fights — especially with our partners.

But is that sustainable? Or even achievable? 

What does it say about your relationship if you’ve never had a fight? 

And is it always a red flag when you start fighting? 

We need to know how to navigate difficult conversations in all our relationships, and occasionally that means having the skills to manage a disagreement or a fight. There are rules to fair fighting, just like in boxing. And you need to know how to manage a fight if you’re hoping to have a secure attachment to the people you’re in relationships with. Because it turns out that when done artfully (which IS possible), making it through a disagreement can make you feel closer, better understood, and more secure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why avoiding having fights leads to problems.
• How to disagree without being disagreeable.
• How to express your needs in a loving way.
• How to get comfortable with having serious conversations (or at least decrease your discomfort!). 
• How to handle things when it turns into a fight.

PLUS, I give you access to one of my most effective tools — but you’ve got to listen to the episode to know how to use it, so don’t delay. Hit PLAY!

xo Darcy

REFERENCES

• The Art of Fighting Part 1
• The Art of Fighting Part 2
• Rules of Fighting Fair
• The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation
• Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition Paperback
• The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy (The Seven Days Series)
• Relationship Skills Bootcamp: A college level course on relationships skills.
• Gottman Institute - The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

TOOLS

• Emotional Temp Here
• How To Communicate When You Disagree With Your Partner 

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling and Vicki Vergolina. Editing by Bart Migal and Stephanie Sterling. Our music is by Trending Music. 

Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. 

 DISCLAIMER

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