Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that.Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control."Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right.<a target="_blank" href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2001000/open_sms">I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. </a><a rel="payment" href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2001000/support">Support the show</a>

Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that. Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control." Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that.Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control."Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right.<a href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2001000/open_sms" rel="noopener noreferrer">I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. </a><a href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/2001000/support" rel="noopener noreferrer">Support the show</a>

How To Hold Avoidants Accountable

Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it. I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse. But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients. This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships. In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.&nbsp;We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now.We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries. <ul><li>Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.</li><li>Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt.</li></ul> This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful.If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place. Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit.&nbsp;

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Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it. I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse. But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients. This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships. In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.  We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now. We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries. Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt. This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful. If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place. Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit. 

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How To Hold Avoidants Accountable

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