Have you ever felt constantly on edge? Like no matter how much you try to relax, your body just won't let you? Maybe you struggle with sleep, feel disconnected from others as you go through daily life, or find yourself reacting to situations in a way that surprises you.

It's just kind of not you. And the worst part is, you don't really know why.

Today we're breaking down what PTSD looks like. We’ll discuss how it can show up in your daily life and the twelve leading signs that you may be living with unresolved trauma. We'll explore why these patterns develop, how they affect your relationships and daily experiences, and what steps you can take to start making sense of it all.

To make this as helpful as possible, we will pull from our experience as therapists who work with trauma survivors. We’ll also refer to the book “The Body Keeps Score,” by trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.

Whether you've been through a major life event or a series of smaller things that have stacked up on you, if you feel like something isn't quite right, this post could give you the clarity that you've been searching for around PTSD and whether that describes what you have been experiencing.

Dr. van der Kolk outlines twelve leading symptoms of complex PTSD. We're going to break these down for you here. 

1.   Hypervigilance

The first leading symptom of PTSD is a constant feeling of unsafety and hypervigilance. Dr. van der Kolk says that patients with PTSD are always on guard. Their bodies are chronically tense and defensive as if they're still in danger now. We often see this play out in our therapy sessions.

When people come in for counseling, they don’t necessarily use the word “hypervigilance.” Instead, they tend to say things like, “I’m very aware of everything that's happening around me.” They say they feel like they’re “always on watch,” they’re “very aware of others and interactions,” and that they're “always on guard.” They may also say that they “feel super awake, all the time.” 

Hypervigilance after betrayal: As therapists, we do a lot of work with survivors of betrayal – of infidelity or when your partner has an affair, for example. Our clients who have experienced this type of trauma often tell us that they always feel very aware of when their partner gets a text message. They're keyed right in on that little text notification. If something's a little bit off about how their partner is conducting themselves, or if their partner is two minutes late - things that would've never bothered them in the past - suddenly catch their attention. That’s hypervigilance.

One of the biggest things our clients have talked about is always tracking their spouse. If their spouse is out of the home, they need to know exactly where they are at all times. And it's because they’re not feeling safe, so they have to try and make themselves feel safe in some way.

Hypervigilance after medical trauma: People can experience hypervigilance around medical traumas as well. Just the other day, we observed a parent whose child went through a major prolonged illness that involved immense hopelessness and fear of losing the child. Thank God, the child did recover and everybody's doing great today physically. But this parent expressed feeling that same hypervigilance and alertness even today, even though the child is healthy. It’s been quite some time of decent health, and the child’s health is getting better all the time. And still, if there's anything off about her – if she has a little cough or something, this parent is right on it. That's an example of hypervigilance in a medical and familial context. That is one of the characteristics of PTSD.

Show Yourself Compassion

We want to encourage you to have compassion for yourself if you're experiencing hypervigilance. This is happening because your nervous system and your body went through a very dangerous situation. Whether the danger was about you or someone dear to you,