The Gaslight Effect Podcast

Humility vs. "Performative": When Your Values Are Misjudged with Courtney Martin


Listen Later

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern continues the limited series Conversations at the Edge—a space for staying grounded, curious, and connected when conversations move into charged, uncertain, or deeply divided territory. Inspired by Robin's ongoing dialogue with her dear friend Lynn Redleaf, the series is rooted in a simple but urgent belief: we have to be able to talk about what matters, with dignity and respect, even when we don't agree.

Robin is joined by writer, journalist, and longtime friend Courtney E. Martin, whose work explores family, community, moral courage, and the messy realities of living by our values. Courtney shares how growing up in polarized Colorado Springs shaped her appetite for difficult conversations, and how her mother's decades-long practice of gathering women and amplifying stories helped form her deep commitment to nuance, belonging, and community.

Together, Robin and Courtney discuss what it means to confront privilege without collapsing into shame or defensiveness, including the personal journey behind Courtney's book Learning in Public: Lessons for a Racially Divided America from My Daughter's School. Courtney reflects on the emotional complexity of choosing a Black-majority public school, the relational fallout of making a different choice than her progressive peers, and the pressure of being labeled "performative"—along with how she turns those moments into opportunities for humility, discernment, and deeper alignment.

The conversation widens into the everyday practices that sustain us: building long-term friendships, living in intentional community, multi-generational family life, and the power of repair—especially what children can teach us about coming back together after conflict. With warmth, humor, and honesty, this episode is a reminder that connection isn't a luxury—it's a practice, and it's how we keep our humanity intact at the edge.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.

Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/

Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a

Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Gaslight Effect PodcastBy Robin Stern

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

49 ratings


More shows like The Gaslight Effect Podcast

View all
The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes

The School of Greatness

21,172 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,533 Listeners

Betrayal Trauma Recovery by Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

1,430 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

27,647 Listeners

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs by Lisa A. Romano

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs

778 Listeners

Trauma Rewired by Elisabeth Kristof & Jennifer Wallace

Trauma Rewired

364 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,667 Listeners

The Covert Narcissism Podcast by Renee Swanson, Bleav

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

45 Listeners

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen by Elise Loehnen

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

1,107 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,662 Listeners

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse by Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

297 Listeners

CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT by Calling Home

CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

379 Listeners

You Are Not Crazy by Jessica Knight

You Are Not Crazy

86 Listeners

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast by Civility Media

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

8,470 Listeners

The Oprah Podcast by Harpo

The Oprah Podcast

1,687 Listeners