What's it like to be a male survivor of sexual abuse? In our very first community-based episode, Husband Material men tell their stories of sexual abuse. You'll learn how to respond appropriately to the needs of male survivors.

Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of our community sub-group for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at [email protected]

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and moderator in the Husband Material Community. Contact Doug at douglascarpenter.com/contact

Jordan, Chris, Kevin, Daniel, "Chaz," and Roger are all members of the Husband Material Community.

Resources mentioned:

• 1in6.org - helpful website
• No Longer Ashamed - podcast for survivors
• What Is CSA Normal? - free document by Mike Chapman
• Healing From Sexual Abuse - course by Dr. Doug Carpenter
• Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development - book by Dr. Doug Carpenter (paid link)
• Husband Material Coaching - get professional help to heal 

Husband Material episodes about sexual abuse:

• Was I Sexually Abused? (interview with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
• Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire (interview with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
• Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 1 (interview with Mike Chapman)
• Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 2 (interview with Mike Chapman)
• Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (interview with Wendell Moss)
• Rags To Riches To Ruin To Redemption (interview with Dr. Joe Martin)

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Is there really a boy inside every man? What does "healing the boy" practically look like? Chris Bruno delightfully demonstrates how to find your younger self and bring him home. This interview is amazing! You'll come away with greater awareness, curiosity, kindness, and healing.

Chris Bruno is the Co-Founder and CEO of Restoration Project, and Founder of ReStory Counseling, devoting his life to helping people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience helping men recover their hearts.

Buy Chris' new book (this is a paid link):
Sage: A Man's Guide Into His Second Passage

Other books by Chris Bruno:

• Man Maker Project: A Father's Guide to Initiating His Son into Manhood
• Brotherhood Primer: A Journey Into Genuine Masculine Friendships 
• Free Downloads For Intentional Fatherhood And Brotherhood
• Healing Father Wounds (HM interview, March 2021)

Take the free assessment:
Midlife Tremors of a Man's Journey

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Outgrowing porn is not easy. The process is often messy and prolonged. That's why some men have found value in writing a formal break-up letter to pornography. This episode will give you a simple structure to write your own break-up letter. You can also use this structure to break up with an abusive partner or any other unwanted sexual behavior, fantasy, or attachment.

Download the free PDF worksheet: How To Break Up With Porn

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

"Our most vital relational need is to be emotionally safe...we cannot truly connect with anyone if we don't feel safe in their presence." —Alex Avila

But what is emotional safety, exactly? How can you tell if a person or relationship is safe or unsafe? Christian therapist Alex Avila explains what it looks like to protect our hearts while giving and receiving "safer love."

SAFER LOVE:
S = Slow and soft
A = Appreciation
F = Feelings
E = Empathy
R = Responsibility

L = Listening
O = Openness
V = Validation
E = Empowerment

Alex A. Avila is a licensed professional counselor and certified sex addiction therapist who meets with men, women and couples to help them overcome trauma, connect emotionally in their relationships, and rewrite their sexual scripts. Alex also facilitates couple’s workshops and couple therapy intensives, men’s sexual recovery groups, and online relationship classes.

Learn more about Alex at alexaavila.com

Join our Live Q&A with Alex on November 8, 2022 inside the Husband Material Community 

Buy one of Alex's books (these are paid links): 

• Emotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships
• 40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Daily Connection Into Your Couple Relationship

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

"Your failure in sexuality is what qualifies you to talk to your son about sex in the first place." In this fascinating episode, a father and son tell their story of learning to talk about emotions and sex together. John and Lucas Fort explain what does(n't) work, what's (not) appropriate, and why imperfection is necessary for connection.

Buy John and Lucas's book (this is a paid link):
Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship

John Fort serves as Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, where he helps men, women, and families move from sexual brokenness to wholeness in Christ. John is a co-founder of the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit. John has authored or co-authored ten books, including Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship.

Lucas Fort grew up talking to his parents (especially his father) about personal topics like feelings and sexuality. He uses what he’s learned to help parents and their children better understand each other while navigating the topics of sex and pornography.

John and Lucas live close to Portland, Oregon.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Anti-porn accountability software has come under scrutiny after an article in WIRED Magazine described Covenant Eyes as "shameware" and "just another way the church controls you.” In this episode, you'll hear what's going on, what I think about accountability software, and how to decide if it's right for you.

Article in WIRED Magazine: The Ungodly Surveillance of Anti-Porn ‘Shameware’ Apps

My top recommendation for accountability software: Covenant Eyes

For those of you who use accountability software:
“If your CovenantEyes or Accountable2You apps are acting funny as of late, there is a very likely reason! Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You were removed from the Google Play Store, and there's a chance your services may have been disrupted. If that's the case, check your email for instructions they have sent to get your software active again and working (there is a workaround which may include reinstalling or activating from their websites). So far this has affected Android users. It's still unclear what repercussions this may have for iPhone/iOS users. So please be watchful. Stand strong, courageous men, and don't allow any software glitches to affect you on your journey to outgrow porn!” —Kolton Thomas, founder of Reclaimed Recovery

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Rick Carlson spent years running from pain, hiding from others, and hating God... until everything changed. In this episode, Rick shares his story of prenatal trauma, physical differences, self-hatred, substance abuse, porn use, and his healing journey over the past 12 years.

"Your greatest pain can become your greatest purpose." —Rick Carlson

Rick Carlson is the founder of Comeback Coaching. As a Certified Husband Material Coach, Life Coach, and Pastor, Rick is passionate about walking with men who feel left behind or believe they are less valued. Rick specializes in coaching men who are overcoming various addictions. Rick's faith-based approach offers compassion for men to discover the deeper reasons for their struggles and outgrow unwanted sexual behaviors. His goals are to help men know that they matter and provide an opportunity for healing. Rick loves to see men make a comeback!

"Rick has helped me reframe and understand my porn use and compulsive sexual behavior not as the main problem, but as a pacifier, helping me get to the root issue that is underneath. He is real, relatable, and wise, and is willing to challenge you in the best possible way." —Daniel

Schedule a free coaching session with Rick Carlson here

Contact Rick at [email protected]

Learn more at comebackcoaching.org

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Do you know what it's like to struggle with depression or anxiety in addition to porn? Ben Bennett does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Ben unpacks how mental health challenges and unwanted sexual behavior are related. Using a mix of science and Scripture, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important!

Ben Bennett is an author, podcast host, and speaker with Josh McDowell Ministry as the Director of Resolution Movement–a global movement helping people overcome hurts and struggles and thrive in life. Ben helps individuals young and old understand and work through the underlying factors driving the unhealthy patterns in their lives.

Buy Ben's book, co-authored with Josh McDowell (this is a paid link):
Free To Thrive: How Your Hurt, Struggles, And Deepest Longings Can Lead To A Fulfilling Life

Connect with Ben on Instagram @benvbennett

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Listen to my sermon about embodied brotherhood from the recent Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara.

Psalm 133 (NIV 1984)

"How good and pleasant it is
    when brothers live together in unity!
  It is like precious oil poured on the head,
    running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
    down upon the collar of his robes.
  It is as if the dew of Hermon
     were falling on Mount Zion.
  For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
     even life forevermore."

The Beauty Of Brotherhood
Sermon on Psalm 133 by Drew Boa 
Sunday, September 11th, 2022 

1. Embodied brotherhood is precious & rare
2. Embodied brotherhood is powerful & refreshing
3. Embodied brotherhood is eternal

Watch the original video recording of this episode here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Marnie Ferree understands sex addiction from both sides: from personal experience, and from being a partner. In this episode, Marnie shares her story of grief and growth after discovering her own sexual betrayal trauma.

Marnie Ferree is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, where she directs Bethesda Workshops, which provides Christian-based treatment for sex addicts, their partners, couples, and teens affected by sexual addiction. Learn more at bethesdaworkshops.org.

Buy Marnie's books here (these are paid links):

• Out Of The Doghouse For Christian Men: A Redemptive Guide For Men Caught Cheating (co-authored with Dr. Rob Weiss)
• No Stones: Women Redeemed From Sexual Addiction

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!