Getting elbowed in the face is not suggested after a nose job, and neither is watching “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” if you don’t like wasting time. The Cute Ones teach you everything you need to know about Bensalem, Pennsylvania before Donny signs up for Harvard classes and Chelsea comes for students with perfect attendance. Also, Jennifer Grey and Matthew Broderick killed someone and Barry Bostwick is not in this movie. #neverforget

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a week, Cuties! Avril Lavigne… or Melissa, flies, home improvement projects, and Harriet Tubman got the Cute Ones through their weeks, but now they’re here with Kendrick to break down the week’s hottest (per them) headlines. The three discuss Patti Lupone’s apology, Paige DeSorbo’s new nightwear, and Julia Stiles trying to fxck her dad. Also, Donny and Chelsea want to go back on Kendrick’s podcast, so give Kendrick 5 stars!

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

QUINCE: quince.com/cuteone

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

INTRODUCTION

4:20 Donny’s sobriety update (Day 67)

6:00 Avril Lavigne Concert / Melissa Conspiracy Theory

10:10 Oh, Mary! Celebrity sightings 

10:45 Skinnytok (trigger warning: ED)

14:20 Chelsea has electricity in her house!

15:30 LIVE SHOW NEWS!!!!!

HEADLINES W/ KENDRICK TUCKER

19:30 Chelsea & Donny are banned from Kendrick’s show :(

20:40 Love Island

22:00 Blake vs. Justin

23:15 Broadway News: Beetlejuice, Hell’s Kitchen, & the latest with Patti LuPone

29:00 Paige Desorbo/Bravocon/RHOA

34:30 Jonathon Joss

35:00 Cutie of the Week

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelchella has arrived, and Donny is in Hell-chella (we're workshopping it). He may have only understood 98% of Predestination, but luckily he has Chelsea's brother to help him through it this episode. What he won't need assistance for is k*lling someone, but it's not legal yet, so we're safe. They also discuss Donny's student film, the logistics of time travel, and what volume level you should listen to your television. But most importantly: the truth about Uncle Perkins is out.

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

QUINCE: ⁠quince.com/cuteone⁠

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was a week of crash outs for the Cute Ones, but they’re on the other side of it (mostly) and ready to talk about everything else that happened this week: Lilo and Stitch, Pee Wee as Himself, and Netflix’s Sirens. Also, Donny is losing his mind with news of Lea Michele’s return to Broadway and updates about P*tti L*pone’s interview about stage icons Audra McDonald and Kecia Lewis. And also… Tom Cruise ate popcorn.

INTRO:

2:00 donny’s crash out

5:40 chelsea’s new phone / petty b*tch era

9:40 pee wee documentary

13:20 sirens 

HEADLINES

18:00 broadway corner: leah michele’s chess revival, patti lupone drama

24:15 tom cruise is a psychopath

29:43 cutie of the week / lilo and stitch controversy

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s a High Holy Day! Chelsea’s phone is broken, and she’s forced to get a new one. But also, the Cute Ones are watching “A Goofy Movie” (a movie not really about Goofy, but about his son) in honor of its 30th anniversary. Max isn’t dead yet, so the duo cover women who fish, last day of school assemblies, white trash activities, and other worldly monsters. Also, is it okay to find your Dad attractive?

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donny is 50 days sober, so emotionally, he's zooting (look it up) himself up in space, while Chelsea is making sure liquor store employees listen to the podcast, forcing people to watch MILF Manor, and making fun of people's speech impediments - to their face. Also, the Cute Ones discuss the Gemini Jail Break and check in on Blake Lively. Cuties, if you love yourself... DO NOT see "Hurry Up Tomorrow."

This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠ 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donny and Chelsea waste no time shooting the elephants in the room (and they don’t include breakaway pants), and then Chelsea teaches an etiquette course before Chris DeRosa and Dominick Pupa of “Fixing Famous People” Podcast join them. The quartet discuss the trailer to Ryan Murphy (and Kim Kardashian’s) “All’s Fair,” Sonja Morgan’s dinner, and the logistics of one woman shows. Also - shit has officially been talked about Donny and Chelsea. (All press is good press!)

TIMESTAMPS

INTRO

3:30 donny’s new tattoo

6:00 health update

9:00 donny’s dating adventures, chelsea’s PI business & etiquette lessons

12:30 celebrity sightings

16:00 “forever” tv show

FIXING FAMOUS PEOPLE

19:00 renee rapp/leann rimes check in

21:30 ryan murphy’s “all’s fair”

26:00 sonja morgan’s latest oopsie/chris and dominic’s inside scoop on the housewives

34:00 cuties of the week

38:00 chris franjola talked shit about us?

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The patriarchy is alive and unwell, and Donny has found a way to survive another week without being cancelled. Meanwhile, Chelsea is singing Katy Perry, learning Spanish, and recovering from a Descendants birthday party. Also recovering are the guests of the Million Lives Conference and anybody who watched Another Simple Favor. And remember, Cuties: wear whatever the f you want!

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Follow Us on Social Media!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices