It was a week of crash outs for the Cute Ones, but they’re on the other side of it (mostly) and ready to talk about everything else that happened this week: Lilo and Stitch, Pee Wee as Himself, and Netflix’s Sirens. Also, Donny is losing his mind with news of Lea Michele’s return to Broadway and updates about P*tti L*pone’s interview about stage icons Audra McDonald and Kecia Lewis. And also… Tom Cruise ate popcorn.

INTRO:

2:00 donny’s crash out

5:40 chelsea’s new phone / petty b*tch era

9:40 pee wee documentary

13:20 sirens 

HEADLINES

18:00 broadway corner: leah michele’s chess revival, patti lupone drama

24:15 tom cruise is a psychopath

29:43 cutie of the week / lilo and stitch controversy

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It’s a High Holy Day! Chelsea’s phone is broken, and she’s forced to get a new one. But also, the Cute Ones are watching “A Goofy Movie” (a movie not really about Goofy, but about his son) in honor of its 30th anniversary. Max isn’t dead yet, so the duo cover women who fish, last day of school assemblies, white trash activities, and other worldly monsters. Also, is it okay to find your Dad attractive?

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Donny is 50 days sober, so emotionally, he's zooting (look it up) himself up in space, while Chelsea is making sure liquor store employees listen to the podcast, forcing people to watch MILF Manor, and making fun of people's speech impediments - to their face. Also, the Cute Ones discuss the Gemini Jail Break and check in on Blake Lively. Cuties, if you love yourself... DO NOT see "Hurry Up Tomorrow."

This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

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This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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Donny and Chelsea waste no time shooting the elephants in the room (and they don’t include breakaway pants), and then Chelsea teaches an etiquette course before Chris DeRosa and Dominick Pupa of “Fixing Famous People” Podcast join them. The quartet discuss the trailer to Ryan Murphy (and Kim Kardashian’s) “All’s Fair,” Sonja Morgan’s dinner, and the logistics of one woman shows. Also - shit has officially been talked about Donny and Chelsea. (All press is good press!)

TIMESTAMPS

INTRO

3:30 donny’s new tattoo

6:00 health update

9:00 donny’s dating adventures, chelsea’s PI business & etiquette lessons

12:30 celebrity sightings

16:00 “forever” tv show

FIXING FAMOUS PEOPLE

19:00 renee rapp/leann rimes check in

21:30 ryan murphy’s “all’s fair”

26:00 sonja morgan’s latest oopsie/chris and dominic’s inside scoop on the housewives

34:00 cuties of the week

38:00 chris franjola talked shit about us?

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The patriarchy is alive and unwell, and Donny has found a way to survive another week without being cancelled. Meanwhile, Chelsea is singing Katy Perry, learning Spanish, and recovering from a Descendants birthday party. Also recovering are the guests of the Million Lives Conference and anybody who watched Another Simple Favor. And remember, Cuties: wear whatever the f you want!

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Your stockings are hung by the chimney with care, visions of sugarplums danced through your heads; now complete your holiday morning by listening to a recap of everyone's favorite Christmas movie that came out in April, "While You Were Sleeping!" Danny Murphy, the eyes and lips behind ⁠@kashmeredanny⁠,  starts the episode by giving Chelsea a recipe for a new holiday cocktail and Donny laments over business models he's too late to cash in on. Also, Chelsea and Danny pop Donny's bubble about which days of the year are safe. Then, Chelsea goes on many rants including - but not limited to - the 90s villainizing the other woman, her children's art, mistletoe, and... this entire movie. Finally, Donny is not a hero.

This episode originally aired 12/25/2022.

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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The Cute Ones are ending Morally Corrupt Month with White Chicks, the movie that aged the worst out of the bunch (maybe the voters at the MTV Movie Award knew what they were talking about). Roger Ebert may have hated it, but Donny and Chelsea had the time of their lives, with Chelsea being moved to tears and Donny... not getting the main joke. Besides the movie, they weigh in about dutch ovens, GrubHub, diarrhea, and why you have to be problematic when TLC is involved.

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

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