Is Moulin Rouge, the movie about dying in a brothel, appropriate for children? The Cute Ones figure it out! They also get to the bottom of what it’s like being buried in a Pringles can and who comes up with ideas for strip routines. Then, Chelsea and Lil’ Herpes discuss consumption. A lot.

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Chelsea is looking great on her new computer, and her mental health is refreshed after her meeting with @LilMissPetPsychic and her dog/bear, and Donny is refreshed after getting a full body massage from a Boxers bartender and being stuck in an elementary classroom for an hour. They also discuss THEE episode of 9-1-1 (Give Jennifer Love Hewitt an Emmy!), Donny’s voice notes during surprise bowel movements, and George Bush (allegedly) used to put tampons up his butt to pretend to be a cat.

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We got married in a fever, Cuties, and we did so with Kelli Williams (@laguna_biotch) of Beyond the Blinds by covering the (non) Oscar-sweeping Leighton Meester film, Country Strong. While not the darkest movie the Cute Ones have ever covered, the trio do go to low places (much like Leighton’s friends in this movie!) They also discuss the magic of Gwyneth, Donny’s dreams of a lavender wedding, and Chelsea’s kin being Snow White for the dead. When you’re finished listening to this episode, stream Nashville!

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Buckle up, Cuties, because you’re about to be hit with a lot of information today - mostly about this season of The Traitors, but also about the birthdays in Donny’s family. Also this week, Chelsea saw The Substance, Donny saw Redwood on Broadway, and Southwest Airlines got rid of their checked bags. (The Legally Blonde prequel was not announced this week.) If you’re excited, feel free to shit yourself. Donny did.

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The episode you’ve been waiting for is finally here, Cuties! Ex-husband to the stars, Joan Crawford stan, and co-host of The Official Marvel Podcast, Quin Lamar (@thequinlamar), is BACK and ready to give every detail… about Joan Crawford and the cult classic, Mommie Dearest. Besides being their most educational episode, the Cuties also get into their mommy (and daddy) issues, Donny’s dreams of cleaning celebrity toilets, and which celebrities haven’t talked about Joan Crawford to the press. Stay tuned for “The Divorce Podcast” coming soon. Also coming soon: Chelsea’s doctor appointment to take care of her little hair ball.

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Donny is trying to get his IBS under control as Chelsea takes care of baby finches this week. Besides that, they tear apart the horrible Powerpuff Girls leaked trailer, get giddy over Broadway news, and vent about Armie Hammer being a terrible person. Also, the Cute Ones prepare their cosplay for BravoCon (they’ll never be attending - unless they’re asked, of course). WICKED FOREVER (since the Oscars won’t say it).

This week’s episode is sponsored by Green Chef. Go to greenchef.com/cuteonefree and use code cuteonefree to get started with FREE SALADS for two months plus 50% off your first box.

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It’s Donny Appreciation Month (for 5 weeks) and while Donny’s self esteem refuses to come down, Noor joins the Cute Ones this week to try her best to take him down a few pegs. While there, the trio recap one of Donny's favorite 2004 films, “Closer,” a wonderful film about terrible people. They discuss how the ER brings people together, the meanest thing you can say to someone, and which TV theme song is the best to strip to!

This week’s episode is sponsored by Green Chef. Go to greenchef.com/cuteonefree and use code cuteonefree to get started with FREE SALADS for two months plus 50% off your first box.

For AD FREE EPISODES, as well as unedited audio and video, and bonus episodes, subscribe to our Patreon! 

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Chelsea is logged on for the whole recording this week, so Donny finally gets to discuss the rental house he found for his 40th birthday weekend: a castle with an escape room in the walls. And Chelsea gets to discuss a one woman TikTok telenovela and which homeroom she’d be in. Then, Phillip Solomon (@psolomon12) of “Deal or No Deal Island” join the Cute Ones to discuss his time on the show and how teaching middle school prepared him for reality TV drama. The three also discuss Karen Huger’s sentencing and the hate for Danielle Reyes on “The Traitors.” Also… major updates about the Duolingo Owl!

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WE JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!

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Chelsea is off her death bed, but her computer… is not. (Subscribe to our Patreon!) So while her parents learn how to live together and Chelsea figures out how to record this episode, Donny is working on breathing through his nose and trying to find a theme restaurant for his birthday celebration. Upon her return, Donny and Chelsea are joined by “Oh Mary” understudy, Hannah Solow (@babymcgoo). The three discuss the little angler fish that could, SNL’s 50th anniversary, and being lost at sea (beware of the tides!) Lorne Michaels, if you’re listening - Hannah has your next great host!

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