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Is He a Narcissist or Just Avoidant? | Dr. Leslie Dobson & Adam Lane Smith
Most people online will tell you your partner is a narcissist because he didn't text back fast enough. This conversation is nothing like that.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Leslie Dobson, forensic psychologist and court-appointed expert who has spent her career inside prisons, jails, and psych hospitals assessing the most dangerous individuals in the system, to give you a reality-based answer to the question so many people are afraid to ask: am I actually in danger?
What you'll learn in this conversation:
1- Why true narcissistic personality disorder is rare and why misusing the term puts people at real risk
2- What coercive control actually is, and why a federal judge needed to hear that it's more dangerous than physical violence
3- How to tell the difference between an avoidant partner and an actual predator
4- What narcissists are scanning for in a potential target and why certain attachment wounds make you more visible to them
5- Why the 10% good moments in a toxic relationship are not evidence that things can change
6- How isolation works, why it happens so gradually, and what it takes to reconnect with the people who knew you before
7- What forensic journaling looks like and why it might be the most important thing you do if you're not sure yet
8- Why building community is the only real protection against narcissistic predators and the science behind why
9- If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for.
If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for.
đź“š WORK WITH ME
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🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
đź’¬ 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
đź“‹ FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:Â
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Join this channel to get access to perks:
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View all episodes
By Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
4.7
4646 ratings
Most people online will tell you your partner is a narcissist because he didn't text back fast enough. This conversation is nothing like that.
Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Leslie Dobson, forensic psychologist and court-appointed expert who has spent her career inside prisons, jails, and psych hospitals assessing the most dangerous individuals in the system, to give you a reality-based answer to the question so many people are afraid to ask: am I actually in danger?
What you'll learn in this conversation:
1- Why true narcissistic personality disorder is rare and why misusing the term puts people at real risk
2- What coercive control actually is, and why a federal judge needed to hear that it's more dangerous than physical violence
3- How to tell the difference between an avoidant partner and an actual predator
4- What narcissists are scanning for in a potential target and why certain attachment wounds make you more visible to them
5- Why the 10% good moments in a toxic relationship are not evidence that things can change
6- How isolation works, why it happens so gradually, and what it takes to reconnect with the people who knew you before
7- What forensic journaling looks like and why it might be the most important thing you do if you're not sure yet
8- Why building community is the only real protection against narcissistic predators and the science behind why
9- If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for.
If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for.
đź“š WORK WITH ME
👉 FREE 90-minute Masterclass - Save your spot https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
đź’¬ 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
đź“‹ FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:Â
https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20
Join this channel to get access to perks:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg/join
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