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You know something is wrong, you just cannot name it yet.
In this episode, I walk through the cycle of abuse — tension building, explosion, reconciliation, and the illusion of calm — and explain why that cycle is exactly what keeps you hooked.
I break down what a trauma bond is, how intermittent reinforcement conditions your nervous system to crave the person who is hurting you, and why your confusion, your self-blame, and your inability to just leave are not weaknesses. They are conditioned responses to abuse.
I also share practical first steps for beginning to break the cycle, even if you are still inside the relationship — including how to tell yourself the truth privately, release the pattern of self-blame, and start choosing your own safety over someone else's comfort.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
By Jessica Knight4.7
8383 ratings
You know something is wrong, you just cannot name it yet.
In this episode, I walk through the cycle of abuse — tension building, explosion, reconciliation, and the illusion of calm — and explain why that cycle is exactly what keeps you hooked.
I break down what a trauma bond is, how intermittent reinforcement conditions your nervous system to crave the person who is hurting you, and why your confusion, your self-blame, and your inability to just leave are not weaknesses. They are conditioned responses to abuse.
I also share practical first steps for beginning to break the cycle, even if you are still inside the relationship — including how to tell yourself the truth privately, release the pattern of self-blame, and start choosing your own safety over someone else's comfort.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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