It's The ADHD-Friendly Show | Personal Growth, Well-being and Productivity for Distractible Minds

I listened to a short video today that talked about how our personal narrative determines how we evolve and who we become as people. It’s also a frighteningly accurate measure of how successful you’re going to be at pretty much anything, including:

Career

Romance

Health and fitness

Finances

I actually did my master’s thesis on the development of personal identity through blogging. How and what we share in social media can influence who we are because we become what we focus on, but we can hinder that process if we don’t truly believe we’re worthy or capable of becoming that what we desire.

In my own life I’ve struggled with every aspect I’ve listed above. I was never a good student so I felt as though I wasn’t destined to be much (and I’m pretty sure my parents felt that way as well). It wasn’t until I went back to school as a mature student did I surprise myself by actually being academically inclined and a gifted writer.

I never thought I’d find a quality guy, especially when I was much younger and heavier. I was never treated well by men, and I gave too much of myself because that’s what I thought I had to do to be loved. I am sad to admit, I was well into my 30’s before I learned my own value and power in romantic relationships. On a more positive note, I’ve been happily married to the same wonderful man for close to 10 years now!

Finances was a tricky one for me to learn because growing up we didn’t have a lot. I never knew what living a comfortable life meant, and I often still struggle with the idea of having more than enough financially. It’s been a lifetime of work believing that I’m worthy of the money I make and the things I’ve accumulated. I am still a work in progress on this one, as I still tend to seek out the cheapest options, hoard things that are on sale, and obsess over saving money for fear of being out on the street someday.  Weird, but true.

But health and fitness has been the journey of internal narrative transformation that has taken me the longest to get through. From being an overweight teen who NEVER wanted to do sports, I had a narrative that I just wasn’t athletic from a very young age. It’s taken me years to overcome this idea.

I was also a smoker, binge drinker, over 200lbs for a long time and ate the crappiest food I could find. That took 20 years to fix. It didn’t have to, but I’m a slow learner and I didn’t have the personal development, social support or role models that I have now.

From where I stand now, I’m a completely different person. I’m healthy, fit and I prefer good food over junk. I choose to take care of myself because it’s my preference, not my obligation.How did I get there? Literally, one step at a time.

Here’s what I’d recommend if you simply don’t’ believe you can change (and you know who you are).

Take any action you can – take a walk, buy running shoes, read fitness blogs like this, follow three new people on social media who emulate who you’d like to become (and don’t make you feel bad about who you are right now) and go to bed early tonight. None of these things are going to move the needle much at first, but anything you can do to start adopting the behaviors of a fit person, (or whatever person you want to be) is going to start to accumulate. Eventually, no matter how unnatural it feels to behave in these new ways, you will eventually lean into it. The key here is baby steps!! If you do too much at once, you’ll snap back to your old internal stories quickly.

Find a supportive community. This probably won’t be in your immediate circle, because they clearly haven’t influenced you to grow yet, but it’s not as hard as you think to find a new tribe. Facebook groups are awesome. Search groups on Facebook that reflect where you want to go. Running for low carb eaters? Weight lifting for vegans? It’s all out there. Just search for it.

Invest in something. Put your money where your mind is. If you want to grow, find a coach, take a class, join a group, buy some new clothes, sign

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Motivation is a tricky thing.  You have to find a reason to do hard things, and it has to be a good enough reason to get you through the lows.  Because the lows suck, and that’s where we all want to quit and believe me - no one escapes the lows.  No one.

So if you’re looking at a weight loss goal in 2017 and you’re thinking - “oh, I just want to get healthy”.  Well guess what.  The first time you don’t feel like getting a workout in or choosing a salad over french fries, You’re. Going. To. Fail.

Why?  Because what does “getting healthy” even mean?  There’s zero emotion in that goal.  There’s no visceral attachment to getting healthy.  It’s arbitrary and vague.

You know what’s not vague?

I want to get into the best shape of my life because my ass of a husband left me after 15 years of marriage and 3 kids because he found someone hotter.  I will show him what hot looks like. 

I want my evil “friend” who is always putting me down to eat my sparkle dust this year.  She thinks I can’t lose weight.  That I’ll always be big and I should just “be okay with that”.  I will show her what I’m capable of.

I want to find a man and be in a relationship where I don’t feel like a welcome mat.  Where I don’t feel like I’m just a last resort because he couldn’t find better.  Where I’m a-okay being naked and feeling sexy in my own skin. 

These may seem like some deviant and pretty fickle goals, but who cares?  If it gets you to make the right choices, then big deal if they are shallow AF.  If it works for you, then it’s the right goal. 

So know what moves you and keep it front and center in your mind.  Meditate on that shallow goal and let it be your mantra. No one else needs to know it’s seeded in revenge.  You do you.

Meanwhile, here are a few other ideas to keep you moving in the right direction.

Schedule your workouts in your calendar.  The rest of your world can revolve around what you need for once!

Partner up with a frienamy - that gal who’s never quite happy about your success.  She will be a way better motivation than your dear sweet cheerleaders friend who will love you no matter what. 

Put skin in the game.  Yes, take out your wallet and pay for that goal.  It will mean something and you’ll be 200% less likely to quit because no one likes to waste money.

Make the process as easy and doable as humanly possible.  At the end of my podcast I share a solution that I think it hands down, the best (and most doable) way to get in shape for ANYONE in 2017.  You’ll be hearing more about that in my next email, so get on my list if you’re not already.

On that note - I want to hear what holds you back.  Why are you not where you want to be yet?  What’s the hang up that keeps you from moving forward?

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I’m the first to admit that goal setting is not something I’m great at. Actually, I’m really good at setting goals and writing them down, but I'm also equally proficient at putting those goals in a file folder somewhere and promptly forgetting about them. 

Now, oddly enough, about 50% of my goals DO materialize anyway. Sometimes that’s dumb luck, and sometimes it’s because they’re just important enough to me that I make sure it happens. An example of a dumb luck goal was finding the job I have now where I’m well paid, love the people I work with and it’s actually work I like doing. That was a goal I wrote down when I decided to end

An example of a dumb luck goal was finding the job I have now where I’m well paid, love the people I work with and it’s actually work I like doing. That was a goal I wrote down when I decided to end Procakes, and it happened quite by accident (or so I think). Meanwhile, there are other things I’ve accomplished that have 110% come from my own stubborn determination, like competing in a fitness show or a half ironman. These are things I thought about quitting on an hourly basis, but I never did. Then there are the goals I write down every year and that shit just never happens. Like being 15% body fat. I write that arbitrary number down every year, and I know it’s unlikely I’ll ever reach it because I know that I’m pretty miserable at 18% body fat and it’s near impossible to maintain without wanting to kill someone, so 15% is just never going to happen for me. I have about 46 other goals just like that one, too.

Then there are the goals I write down every year and that shit just never happens. Like being 15% body fat. I write that arbitrary number down every year, and I know it’s unlikely I’ll ever reach it because I know that I’m pretty miserable at 18% body fat and it’s near impossible to maintain without wanting to kill someone, so 15% is just never going to happen for me. I have about 46 other goals just like that one, too.

So my first thought about setting goals is being really honest about what you’re willing to put your time and attention into. Sure, I’ll probably continue to put that 15% body fat goal on my list every year, but now it’s more like the goal equivalent of an “elf on the shelf”. It’s more about tradition and decoration than execution. Looking back at 2016, I’ve accomplished about 50% of what I set out to do. Maybe that’s a hack - aspire to do so much that you’d be happy if you only got 50% of it accomplished. Genius! But to be honest, this coming year, my goal list will look much different than it has in the past. Maybe it’s age, or maybe it’s acquired wisdom, but I don’t feel the need for

Looking back at 2016, I’ve accomplished about 50% of what I set out to do. Maybe that’s a hack - aspire to do so much that you’d be happy if you only got 50% of it accomplished. Genius! But to be honest, this coming year, my goal list will look much different than it has in the past. Maybe it’s age, or maybe it’s acquired wisdom, but I don’t feel the need for improvement based goals this year. Instead, I aim to stop the self-development cycle and simply embrace and own the woman I’ve worked hard to become. For example:

I don’t have weight loss goals this year. I’m happy with the body I have (although I will continue to build strength through weight lifting).

I don’t have career goals this year. I like the job I have and I’ll continue to do the best work I can, but outside of that, I simply want to enjoy writing my blog, practicing my photography skills and perhaps doing less in social media. I’m also going to dial back on the coaching this year to make more time for my personal life.

I don’t have relationship goals in the sense that I’m no longer actively trying to expand my network or meet new people. This year, I want to focus on the relationships I already have and cherish. I want to be a better friend to the friends I’ve already collected rather than always trying to make more and more.

I do

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One thing I think is super important to understand is that the perfect diet for anyone is not so much about low carb, high protein, gluten free, paleo or vegan. It's about compliance before anything else. I can write you a meal plan that is so perfectly balanced it would solve all your problems, but unless you were able to adhere to it, it would be worthless. Same goes for workout programs. I partner with Beachbody - because I think their programs are outstanding (and I say that as a personal trainer and a user). But a brilliantly programmed workout regimen is just a DVD unless it's consistently followed through on. So we have to start with compliance which starts with knowing who you are as a person, and what you're willing to tolerate.

I know for myself, any meal plan that makes a little sugar-free chocolate and wine completely off limits, is not something I will adhere to, because I love those things. So I have to negotiate and say to myself, okay, I'll make a little room for wine and chocolate, but I'm also willing to give up potatoes and bread so that my carb intake doesn't go off the rails.

This is why success should be slow and methodical. Because you're discovering and negotiating what you can get away with, rather than white-knuckling through a program you have every intention of ditching after 8-weeks because it's near impossible to follow and enjoy.

Start with enjoyment and work backward. Negotiate what you're willing to give up, consume less of, or alter. Then see what your results tell you.

By the way, if you're interested in getting some help figuring all this stuff out, consider joining my online fitness groups.  They're 3 weeks of support, training and kick-ass recipes to help you rock an awesome body in 2017!  Want in?  Drop a comment below and I'll give you the deets.

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What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the Christmas holidays?  Your weird uncle Fred?  Mall madness?  Or food?  Seriously, eggnog, cookies, and crappy holiday party food is everywhere you look!  No wonder people joke about gaining 5 to 10lbs over the holidays and then feel like crap on Jan 1. 

Sound familiar?

The key to long-term success is adopting a lifestyle mindset. Accept that you’re not on a diet that has a start and an end, but that you generally (not always) chose foods that help your goals, not hinder them.   You’re eating for a way of life and doing so means being able to incorporate holiday eating into your plan. There’s no doubt that the holidays present a unique set of challenges with all the delicious holiday baking and boozy parties.  And I bet you feel pretty badly about yourself when you over indulge.  But here’s the thing…  unless you’re out there night after night, diving face first into Christmas goodies, you’re going to be okay.  And if you’re looking to make fitness a lifestyle, then you need to make a little room for the things you love, or you’ll be a miserable cow that will poop all the parties you go to.

Speaking of party poopers – have you ever seen this video???  F*&king hysterical. I digress…..

So here’s my advice to you for getting through this festive season and still be able to fit into your pants in January.

Control the meals you have control over. Stick with your plan for the meals you can.  That means prepping meals for lunch, making sure your breakfast (if you have one) is healthy and when your dinner is planned to be a festive one, be intentional, but not maniacal with the food that you chose to eat.

Control the portion sizes of the meals you can’t control. A common mistake is not respecting the fact that quantity trumps quality when it comes to calories. So, even if you’re enjoying some indulgent food, how much of it you eat will be the biggest determinant of the effect that indulgent eating has on you.

Get MORE sleep than normal.  Yes, we’re all busy over the holidays, but scrap the malls this year, buy your gifts on amazon, then put your phone down and be lights out by 10pm every night!  I know you guys are sick of me talking about how important sleep is for fat loss, but it’s true.

Continue to get your workouts in 100% of the time.  Now is not a time to say to yourself that you don’t have time to get to the gym, because that becomes a slippery slope into not workouts and lots of bad food choices.  No time for the gym?  Workout in your bedroom.  That’s what I do, and it works.

Say no to events that don’t appeal to you.  If you’re invited to a party that you don’t want to go to, then say you have another commitment and you’re done.  No drama.

Be realistic about the expectations you place upon yourself.  If your intention is to not have ANY wine or dessert, but everyone around you is raving about the cabernet and flourless chocolate cake, and you LOVE wine and chocolate, then you’re going to be a miserable cow with impeccable eating habits.  Let me know how that works out for you.

Get support.  I have an accountability group starting Dec 17th to address that feeling of being all alone (and miserable) because everyone around you is enjoying the Christmas goodies, but you're trying to stay on track (and we know they'll be feeling crappy in January). Our group will be focused on practicing the 80/20 principle - 80% on track, 20% Christmas goodies.  Join us!

But, but, what about your goals? A few meals here and there aren’t going to do anything to negate the results of all your hard work. Especially if you’re paying attention to the size of your portions and how much you’re eating as I suggested above. It’s the constant partaking in large quantities of holiday treats that’ll catch up to you. And you end up there only when you allow yourself to, by ignoring the choices you are making and the impact it is having on you physically and emotionally.

Give yourself permissio

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Greetings from Palm Springs!! OMG, I love it here.  It’s a little cooler than I'd like it to be (low 70s) so I’m sitting here in the late afternoon in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, but it was warmer earlier, so I did manage some sun time in :)

Honestly, I’m just so grateful to have flexible work that affords me the ability to do these little trips.  It’s so nice to just rent a house with a pool, somewhere warm with a huge backyard and let the dogs have a blast.  This is seriously my kinda vaycay.  I’d take this over a resort in Cabo any day.  But that’s the hermit in me :)

Anyway, suffice to say, it was worth the 9-hour drive to get here!! 

Speaking of 9-hour drives, someone on Facebook asked me about thermos recommendations for healthy travel and just toting food to work.  Here’s a few of my must-haves for travel.  The cooler pack is not the same as mine (it's better) and it already comes with the little travel containers, so it’s something that might end up on my Christmas list as I bring breakfast and lunch to the office with me every day.  I just wish it came in pink

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First, you need to know that nutrition is always going to “trump” your workout program. You can’t work your way out of a poor diet. That said, “abs are made in the kitchen” is all true.

Here’s what I think (feel free to disagree)… optimize weights and do as little cardio as you can get away with. Unless you truly LOVE cardio for mental reasons, in which case, do what floats your boat because it’s giving you benefits beyond weight loss. If you’re doing it JUST for weight loss, it’s a futile effort, so stop the madness. Do as little as you need to do to reach your goals and not a minute or mile more. Because here’s the thing, cardio breaks you down - weight lifting builds you up. This is the critical difference between these two work out modalities.

The biggest issue is with cardio is that the body adapts very easily to what you’re doing and then you have to do more, to get the same level of results. That blows. It also elevates hunger levels which means, you’re eating more, and therefore you’d need to do MORE cardio to negate the extra calories (and the math never works out). Cardio is not a tool or punishment for erasing bad food choices.

When it comes to weight-bearing exercise, you can lift weights or just focus on bodyweight exercises. The choice between those two options is largely dependent on your goals and your body type - ectomorphs should lift heavy weights, mesomorphs could get away with just bodyweight workouts.

Body weight workouts I recommend

Core de Force

P90X3 - does require some weights.

Piyo

Pure Barre

Physique 57

Weight workouts I love

21 Day Fix

21 Day Fix Extreme

Body Beast

A Few Nutrition Notes

Be smart with your carbs - if you’re going to eat starchy carbs, eat them around the time of your workout.

Have protein and fats in the AM. Leave your carbs for your workout period.

Don’t have 5 to 6 small meals a day unless you like doing that. Otherwise, do 3 square meals a day like your grandparents did, and limit snacking as much as possible.

Focus on veggies, proteins and healthy fats. After a workout, eat a carb and a protein (or Shakeology is perfect for a post workout meal) to get glucose into your muscle as soon as possible.

Aim to eat 30 grams of protein per meal.

You need healthy fats for muscle repair, healthy hair and nails.

Sleep is critical to muscle repair! Get at least 7 to 8 hours a night.

Got questions? Feel free to leave them below. I’ll do my best to answer them and as always, thanks for listening to the podcast!! 

Xo

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Send us a textI grew up with some pretty bad habits. Partying, smoking, not sleeping well and eating all the wrong things. It showed. I was over 200lbs until my early 20's when I finally did something about it.It wasn’t until I moved to California when I was 36 that my life really shifted. I found better social influences, I tried new sports, and I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, time and time again. That was the catalyst that I needed to go from party girl to sporty-spice.According to ...

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I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now. I mean, I don’t eat a ton of gluten anyway, but at least once or twice a week, I’m eating a “healthy” pizza, dipping into the breadbasket at restaurant, or dipping my sushi in soy sauce (yes, soy sauce has gluten and a shit ton of sodium).

I find that I when I do indulge, the same things generally happen - I get stomach cramps almost immediately and a little bloating, but then the next day, my “#2” is not normal (I’ll leave it at that and you’re welcome) and I’m in a funk/fog for the rest of the day. It’s like I get a bread hangover and I’m just a little dumber for the next 24 hours.

The other thing about gluten is it promotes visceral fat (read Wheat Belly for the deets on this) and I for one, don’t need any more help in the belly fat department.

I’m all good there, thanks much.

So if you’re curious about whether or not you may have a sensitivity, take a look at this self-test, or just watch how you feel 2 hours and 24 hours after you eat something with gluten in it.

Not sure what has gluten? I’ll post a non-exhaustive list at the bottom of this post.

Want to ditch gluten but you’re not sure where to start? Well, you can listen to the podcast I just created. When you’ve covered that, here are a few more resources for you to explore.

Do you think you have a gluten intolerance?  I pulled this from Celiac.org.  You might be surprised to know things like soy sauce and lip gloss contain gluten.  Read on!Gluten-Containing Grains and Their DerivativesWheatVarieties and derivatives of wheat such as:wheatberriesdurumemmersemolinaspeltfarinafarrograhamKAMUT® khorasan wheat

einkorn wheatRyeBarleyTriticaleMalt in various forms including: malted barley flour, malted milk or milkshakes, malt extract, malt syrup, malt flavoring,malt vinegar

Brewer’s YeastCommon Foods That Contain GlutenPastas: raviolis, dumplings, couscous, and gnocchiNoodles: ramen, udon, soba (those made with only a percentage of buckwheat flour) chow mein, and egg noodles. (Note: rice noodles and mung bean noodles are gluten free)Breads and Pastries: croissants, pita, naan, bagels, flatbreads, cornbread, potato bread, muffins, donuts, rollsCrackers: pretzels, goldfish, graham crackersBaked Goods: cakes, cookies, pie crusts, browniesCereal & Granola: corn flakes and rice puffs often contain malt extract/flavoring, granola often made with regular oats, notgluten-free oatsBreakfast Foods: pancakes, waffles, french toast, crepes, and biscuits.Breading & Coating Mixes: panko breadcrumbsCroutons: stuffings, dressingsSauces & Gravies (many use wheat flour as a thickener)traditional soy sauce, cream sauces made with a rouxFlour tortillasBeer (unless explicitly gluten-free) and any malt beverages (see “Distilled Beverages and Vinegars” below for more information on alcoholic beverages)Brewer’s YeastAnything else that uses “wheat flour” as an ingredientFoods That May Contain Gluten (must be verified by reading the label or checking with the manufacturer/kitchen staff)Energy bars/granola bars – some bars may contain wheat as an ingredient, and most use oats that are not gluten-freeFrench fries – be careful of batter containing wheat flour or cross-contact from fryersPotato chips – some potato chip seasonings may contain malt vinegar or wheat starchProcessed lunch meatsCandy and candy barsSoup – pay special attention to cream-based soups, which have flour as a thickener. Many soups also contain barleyMulti-grain or “artisan” tortilla chips or tortillas that are not entirely corn-based may contain a wheat-based ingredientSalad dressings and marinades – may contain malt vinegar, soy sauce, flourStarch or dextrin if found on a meat or poultry product could be from any grain, including wheatBrown rice syrup – may be made with barley enzymesMeat substitutes made with seitan (wheat gluten) such as vegetarian burgers, vege

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