Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

By Casey O'RoartySociety & Culture Education Relationships Parenting Kids & Family

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Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens episodes

March 01, 2021Eps 263: Solo Show- Belief Behind Behavior Deep Dive Part 1
This week’s episode is a solo show!
Takeaways from the show:
Perception matters
The goal of behavior is to find and feel a sense of belonging and significance
Iceberg metaphor
Mistaken goals: Undue attention
Connection vs. attention
Tune into how your kid’s behavior makes you feel
Parents contribute to beliefs kids have about connection
The coded message behind annoying behavior is notice me and involve me usefully
Redirect by involving your kids in a useful task
Say what you will do
Avoid special services
Plan 1 on 1 time with your kids
Involve your kids in creating routines
Eps 261 | Downloadable Mistaken Goal Chart
See you next week!! :)

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29 min
February 22, 2021Eps 262: Supporting Our Teen's Pathway to Higher Education with Dr. Pamela Ellis
My guest today is Pamela Ellis.
In her more than 20 years working in education research and as a financial executive in the private sector, Pamela Ellis—The Education Doctor® has emerged as a leading authority on what it takes for students to thrive in education and, thereby, in life.
Her work supports parents find the school where their children can thrive—the one that feels like home.
Takeaways from the show
Struggles parents are going through with supporting kids for college
Myths about getting into college
ACT and SAT myths
Looking for a college that fits with you
How soon parents of college bound kids should be making moves for their future
Benefits of taking a gap year
Breaking down what to think about as your kids move through each year of high school
Reading for pleasure
Understanding scholarships

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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46 min
February 15, 2021Eps 261: Solo Show- Getting Curious About the Belief Behind Behaviors
This week’s podcast is a solo show!
Takeaways from the show:
Concepts and theories of Positive Discipline
Belief behind behavior
Iceberg metaphor
Positive discipline 101
Behaviorist vs. Positive Discipline
The concept of belonging and significance
School drama
You must start with self reflection if you want to create lasting change
Pay attention to how it feels when school drama comes up with your child
The first reason for our kids to misbehave is that they desire attention and connection
If kids don’t get the connection, they move on to seeking power
Eps 259 | Alison Smith interview

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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32 min
February 08, 2021Eps 260: Nurturing a Growth Mindset with Alexandra Eidens
My guest today is Alexandra Eidens.
Alexandra is the founder of Big Life Journal, a growth mindset company for children and teens. Alexandra’s company specializes in creating practical tools to help parents and teachers integrate growth mindset into their everyday lives.
Their guided journals are now used by over 500,000 children world wide. When not creating journals, Alexandra is reading the latest research on brain science and the mind-body connection.
Takeaways from the show:
The foundations of Big Life Journal
Nurturing a growth mindset
Personal development in parenting
Growth vs. fixed mindset
Model the human experience to your children
Be process oriented vs. outcome oriented
Teach your children to set learning goals
Rejection is an indication that you are putting yourself out there
How to deliver feedback to your child
Make a habit of learning new things
Embrace struggle and adversity
Compare yourself to yourself only
Engage in deliberate practice
Comfort vs. stretch zone
Model being vulnerable in your own experiences
The best thing you can do as a parent is love your kids unconditionally

Where to find Alexandra:
Ebook | Big Life Journal | FaceBook

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39 min
February 01, 2021Eps 259: Solo Show- Exploring "Is This Positive Discipline?"
Today’s podcast is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show
Teen Counseling
The 5 Criteria of Positive Discipline
Questions to ask yourself to see if the response your giving in a situation meets the criteria for Positive Discipline
Come into it expecting your kids to follow through
Your kids behavior lets you know what kind of experience they’re having
Invite your kids into more expression of what’s going on for them
Most of our mischief comes from the perception that we don’t feel like we matter
Everyone has their own unique lenses they see out of
Whatever we do, we want our kids to feel more connected, seen, and like they matter
Trust the process
Our kids learn through experience over time
Celebrate mistakes, focus on solutions
Model your own self-regulation
Help your children discover how capable they are
Recognize this isn’t a formula or a gimmick
Healthy human beings are expressive

Resources mentioned:
Jane Nelsen Positive Discipline Website

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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39 min
January 25, 2021Eps 258: Teasing Apart Emotional Labor with Gemma Hartley
My guest today is Gemma Hartley.
Gemma is a freelance journalist and the author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward. She’s a mom of 3 kids, 5, 7 and 10
Takeaways from the show:
Gemma’s journey of being a writer
The article that started her career
Not wanting to ask your family to do something, just wanting them to know to do it
Teasing apart emotional labor
The pressure that lays on moms’ shoulders
What are shared standards
Acknowledge your standards exist for a reason
Holding resentment when your significant other feels like they should get praise for things you do on a daily basis
Being in conversation with our family in a way that supports everyone
Make it normal to talk about emotional labor
Vulnerability with your partner is scary but necessary
When going into emotional labor conversations, be clear on your intentions
The process of re-evaluating the life you share should include everyone being involved
Tools that help make everyone feel supported in emotional labor
Asking your kids to “help” you with household chores implies it is your job, which it isn’t
Recognize the subtle messaging you’re giving your kids
Where to find Gemma:
Book | Website | Facebook | Instagram | Women Aren’t Nags Article | Emotional Labor Article

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49 min
January 18, 2021Eps 257: Solo Show- Opening Up to Your Resistance
This week’s episode is a solo show!

Takeaways from the show
Birth story of my first child
How resistance and tension can affect your relationship with your kids
Recognizing your own resistance will open up a deep personal inquiry
Your teen has their own experience and mistakes to make on their path of life
Journal about resistance
Broaden your relationships by looking into yourself to where you hold resistance
Your teens emotional development is still in the process even if they look like full-grown humans
Parenting for a Brave New World Summit

Click here to listen to the interview with my daughter Rowan

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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26 min
January 11, 2021Eps 256: Untigering Our Parenting with Iris Chen
This week my guest is Iris Chen.
Iris is a writer, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After starting out as a hardcore tiger mother, she began to untiger when she saw all the negative effects of her authoritarian parenting. Now she’s on a mission to empower others families by promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and educational freedom for children. She recently moved back to California with her husband and two sons after 16 years of living in China.

Takeaways from the show
Tiger parenting and its cultural meaning
Iris’ experience growing up and how that played into her parenting
How patterns of how you were parented can show up into the subconscious
Shifting to a different way of parenting
Doing the inner work so your relationships with your kids can improve
Holding space for your emotions
Learning to filter assumptions about children and parenting through a lens of love and respect and anti-oppression
The swing from demanding parenting to permissive parenting
Leaning into trust and connection
Having a positive way to manage dysregulation
Taking apart the baggage around making mistakes in parenting
Making mistakes is an opportunity to model ownership, responsibility and humility
Holding mutual respect in the relationships with your children
Bringing awareness to the fact that children are worthy of honor and dignity and certain rights

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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46 min
January 05, 2021Eps 255: Solo Show Exploring the Possibilities of a New Year
This week’s podcast is a SOLO show!!
Takeaways from the show:
The refreshing new start of 2021
Relationships strengthening
Choosing into feeling grateful for things that exist in your life
Possibilities of the present moment
Practice returning to the present moment again and again
Feelings about the new year
What are you willing to surrender to this year
What Joyful Courage stands for
Growth is the purpose of everything in life
Tending to relationships that matter in our life
The importance of taking an opportunity to grow
New mini summit with an opportunity of a VIP pass
Think about what you want to create this year

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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33 min
December 21, 2020Eps 254: Real Talk with a 15 Year Old
My guest today is Ian O’Roarty.
Ian is my youngest child, he turned 15 October 30th, and is a freshman in high school. He is the baby in the house, and taller than us all. He is passionate about basketball, loves his friends, and has melted my mama heart since day one. I say that Ian is my “positive discipline” kid because he was the one who was always game to create a routine, or role play a situation, he was willing.
I’d say that Ian and I are very close, I will let him share his experience during the interview… He has always been really open with me, and it doesn’t seem like that is really anything that we haven’t talked about… He loves family time, when we are all together, and is super stoked to have his drivers permit.
I am honored that he is willing to come share candidly with all of you on the podcast.
Takeaways from the show:
Coping with covid
Challenges in the last year
Being a close relationship with your parents
Having a sibling who is going through mental health issues
Messaging on swearing in our house
Reading agreements
Screen time
Thoughts from a teen about watching the Social Dilemma
Video games and limits
Managing screen time with online school
What it means to Ian to “be a man”
Toxic masculinity
Goals for the future
Advice to parents raising sons

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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1 hr 3 min

About Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to the Joyful Courage Podcast - a place where parents of tweens and teens come to find inspiration, information and encouragement in the messy terrain of adolescence