NASA might have found signs of ancient life on Mars thanks to rocks with organic carbon, Robert De Niro kept it low-key with a honey and camomile on arrival for the new Nobu skyscraper, Sir Ian McKellan hilariously roasted James Corden in a drag panto mash-up, Joe Exotic is selling private calls to fund his Netflix grievances, DWTS apparently locked in their winner before the season even started, Cardi B turned her baby’s umbilical cord into a gold statement necklace, New York restaurants are serving tiny Ozempic-friendly meals, and Brooklyn Beckham’s early photography career stumbled spectacularly on a delayed celebrity shoot

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Robert De Niro kept it classy with a honey and camomile on arrival in Manchester for the new Nobu skyscraper, Sir Ian McKellan went off-script roasting James Corden in a cheeky drag panto mash-up of Wicked and Wizard of Oz, Joe Exotic is offering private phone calls for Christmas while complaining Netflix ripped him off, and Deuxmoi has the inside scoop that the DWTS winner was already decided before the season even started.

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NASA reckons there might be ancient life on Mars and suddenly the team are pitching Earth to aliens like they’re spruiking a dodgy rental on Gumtree. Joel genuinely campaigns to become queen of the galaxy and, to be honest, the aliens would probably say yes.

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Blackers spills the tea on his ARIAs hosting chaos before the gang dives into a spicy round of Glossys that somehow links Ronaldo, the Beckhams and Ariana in one breath. We get into the madness of a Klimt portrait going for a casual $34.5 million, the surprising global rise of Guinness and Tarantino dropping his top five actors like it’s gospel. Then Chrissie Swan swings in for a feisty Quick Draw that absolutely lights up the room.

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Chrissie Swan dropped by for Quick Draw chaos, whipped up some of her Shortcut Queen recipes including mini quiches and nostalgic snacks, and had Joel scrambling through ridiculous pantry and sky-themed challenges while showing off her kitchen antics, cooking stories, and sharp humour all in one whirlwind afternoon.

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Cristiano Ronaldo strolling through Mar a Lago with Don set off a wild chat about Keith Urban oddly singing Pink Pony Club there, before everyone pivoted to Victoria Beckham’s son Cruise giving Viva Forever a red hot go, then Khloe admitting she accidentally convinced Kim the moon landing was fake, and finally Ariana Grande popping up to sing with Jimmy Fallon because why not.

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Tim gives us the full backstage scoop from the ARIAs where he was hosting with Concetta Caristo and absolutely living his best sparkly awards-night life. From Keli Holiday kicking things off with G Flip and Baker Boy to Missy Higgins winning straight after belting out Complicated Truth, the night was stacked.

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In a very rare game of Name Em, Ricki reveals to us that she auditioned for Season 1 of Australian Idol... and GOT REJECTED! Find out why now.

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We had Mitch Churi jumping in while Blackers swanned around the Arias and it honestly felt like leaving your house keys with the fun neighbour who definitely lets the dog on the couch. Childhood meals came roaring back with tuna mornay trauma, electric wok chicken crimes and enough apricot chicken energy to trigger a whole generation. A UK school banned a K-Pop song for being a bit too Demon Hunter which is exactly the kind of drama the tuckshop needed in the 2000s. The Glossy’s delivered everything from Taylor and Travis inspiring the word parasocial to Ariana getting all handsy in the sweetest way plus Keith Urban copping heat and Trump calling someone Piggy. We wrapped it all with a round of Name Em that went off like burnt dinner rolls forgotten in the oven.

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Childhood meals came roaring back with the trauma of apricot chicken, tuna mornay and whatever crimes were happening inside those electric woks. Callers rolled in with dishes so cooked they should be classified as psychological warfare. And somehow ham steak with pineapple had a moment.

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