Latter Day Struggles

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Imagine attending an LDS meeting where people from the extremes of belief and practice come together and enjoy one another's company, share their stories, experiences, thoughts, opinions, and struggles, and are met with openness, curiosity, compassion, and non-judgment?  This was our experience at our very first Sunstone Symposium--an annual gathering we just attended with a little bit of anxiety and a lot of curiosity.

In this episode Nathan and Val share more about specific moments that they enjoyed, some very unique kinds of people they met, and why they will not only be back, but why this un-official "General Conference" gave them hope that we as a church are capable of true community. 

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Can't make it to the Sunstone Symposium 2022?  Join Valerie on this episode as she walks you through one of her Sunstone Presentations breaking down the following:

1. Scott Peck's Stages of Faith Development
2. Characteristics of institutions in lower stages of faith development
3. Valerie's theories on why we as an institution are stuck
4. Actual comments from podcast listeners about their faith deconstruction and how this is often faith progression (not regression)
5. Why those in the orthodoxy and those in skepticism struggle with each other 
6. How to become a truly open community where all stages of faith are welcomed. 

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Join Val as she breaks down one gay man's reasons for staying in the LDS church.  This episode highlights the reality that every person must search for and choose for themselves their own authentic reason for staying (or not staying) in the church and that this decision is deeply and profoundly personal.  Book Referenced in this episode:

• Why I Stay 2: The Challenges of Discipleship for Contemporary Latter-day Saints, Edited by Robert Rees 

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Join Valerie in her analysis of Zina Petersen's progressively new lyrics to the classic primary hymn "I Am a Child of God", written to emphasize the importance of moving beyond childish simplicity, black and white thinking, right and wrong belief structures, and a covert belief in the prosperity gospel.  

In this episode Valerie walks through the power and pain of becoming a true "Adult of God" and how faith deconstruction is an invaluable part of your personal maturation and growing relationship with your divine parents and Savior.

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Join Val and Nathan as they break down the research findings regarding why people finally overcome their tribal desire to “fit in” and and “not make waves” and move into a place of courage, self validation, and even heroism.

 One's process of growing brave enough to speak truth to power and against the majority narrative involves

1. heightening ones attention and realizing there is a problem 
2. realizing the urgency of the problem
3. feeling a sense of personal responsibility
4. believing that one has the skills to help 
5. reaching a conscious decision to help.  

Listen as they break down how each element was a part of their personal journey towards speaking up.Books referenced:

• The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively, by Todd B. Kashdan

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Join Valerie as she shares some words of wisdom straight from one of her spiritual heroes, father Richard Rohr.  In this episode she shares highlights from one of the most influential thought-provoking and growth-inducing books she has ever read:  Falling Upward.  

Discover for yourself whether you are in the "first half of life" or the "second half of life" and how we each move towards true adulthood. 

Books referenced in this episode:

• Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, by Richard Rohr

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In this episode, Valerie pushes back on the common belief in the LDS church that the "a la carte" approach to gospel belief is evidence of lack of faith, trust, and commitment to one's spiritual growth.  

She builds a case for the "a la carte" approach to building one's beliefs as more risky in the short term (yes, our own agency means we might botch things from time to time) but also as more rewarding for those who take their discipleship seriously and learn to truly apply the atonement of Jesus Christ when necessary.

This approach insulates the institution from making promises it cannot keep as it hands power to its constituents and it insulates the church's constituents from the inevitable disillusionment that always follows when an institution over-promises.  

Finally, Val talks about the difference between the stances of the "preacher", the "prosecutor", and the "politician" and how each of these styles of relating to one's beliefs are problematic, and how alternatively, the truth-seeking approach of the "scientist" may lead us most accurately to God.

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In this episode, Val and Nathan share how in the church we sometimes use the transitive property of logic to draw sweeping conclusions to issues that merit individual study and personal discernment.  No matter what they told you to teach in the MTC, if one thing is true (or false), then everything else is not necessarily true (or false). 

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Series Title: When Mom Feels Like a Robot [Part II of II]

Join Val in a brief follow up to her last episode discussing the negative psychological, emotional, and relational, and spiritual impact that women often experience due to the LDS church's historical hyper-focus on marriage and childrearing as a woman's primary role in life. 

This episode focuses on how the men in these women's lives both impact and are impacted by this phenomenon.

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Series Title: When Mom Feels Like a Robot [Part I of II]

Join Valerie in this episode as she breaks down a typical client that comes into her private counseling practice...the numb, exhausted, dutiful, mom. Our work together is to learn more about how she got here and how its possible that she can feel so crappy after having done all of the right things. 

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