One of the most common questions I receive from parents is this: How do I know if my child’s behavior is due to their disability or if they are doing it on purpose? 

Because our neurodivergent children present with skill weaknesses that occur internally, like those related to emotional dysregulation and executive functioning, when they are asked to do something they don’t have the capacity for at the moment, the first sign of distress is often avoidance or an emotional meltdown. But consider this: We would never discipline a child with a broken leg for not running a race. So, once we understand that our child’s behavior is not a choice, but rather a stress response related to the overwhelm of the situation, we support them rather than discipline them. But, there are still times when children need limits to learn how to stay safe and become independent. So, how can we tell the difference? 

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One of the hardest decisions parents make for their child is when to begin Kindergarten. A generation ago, parents didn’t think about this much. If your child was five years old before the cut-off date for your public school district, then it was time for Kindergarten. However, as Kindergarten has become less play and more academic in the last 20 years, and as we learn more about the importance of a child’s ability to self-regulate before any learning can happen, parents are thinking twice about this decision.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com.

Learn with Dr. Emily is edited by Earfluence.

Helpful Resources
Parent Workshops - https://learnwithdremily.substack.com/s/parent-workshops
Professional Development - Bring Dr. Emily to Your School - https://www.learnwithdremily.com/schools

Children lack the life experience to fully embrace the delayed gratification needed to believe that mistakes are helpful. Every child goes through a developmental period where they must learn the arc of change that comes with being faced with something that is too hard, needing the motivation to keep coming back to try again, and then the satisfaction of mastering a skill. Most children are able to face these attempts to try again, which not only lets them practice their skills but also helps their brain experience disappointment when making mistakes and the reward of working hard to yield a better outcome. 

But what if your hard work does not yield a better outcome? 

Let’s view this through the lens of a neurodivergent child with skill weaknesses due to a diagnosis of autism, ADHD, anxiety, and/or a learning disability. 

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One of the most frequent questions I get from parents is this: How do I tell my child about their diagnosis? This task feels daunting because no one wants to tell someone that something is “different” about them, especially when that someone is our precious child. You don’t want to hurt them and you don’t want them to ever think they are “less than.” I believe that we, the adults, are actually the ones with the baggage about “different” meaning something negative. 

While “different” might mean that something is harder for your child, “different” never means “less than.” So I prefer to not even use the word “diagnosis” and instead focus on abilities and needs for support. We all have abilities and we all have needs, so let’s understand them and support one another.

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
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The Neurodiverse Classroom is HERE! 

The Neurodiverse Classroom is a professional development online course created for passionate elementary teachers in need of up-to-date training to better understand the neurodiverse and mental health needs of their students.

I have always wanted to create an easy way for teachers to get all the information they need so they can create classrooms where everyone feels safe, nurtured, and celebrated.  

Parents: If you know a teacher who would want to hear more about this, just tag them or share!

Teachers: Join me as we merge my knowledge of child psychology, neurodivergence, and mental health with your knowledge of elementary education so we can help spark learning for every student.

This week only, you can enroll in the professional development self-study course. Inside The Neurodiverse Classroom, you will have access to pre-recorded video lessons beginning November 4th and delivered to your email inbox each Friday before Thanksgiving. 

Each lesson will help you reframe your thinking about teaching a neurodiverse group of learners, arm you with strategies to support them, and help you strengthen your self-care tool-kit as you learn to take care of yourself along this teaching journey. 

When you enroll in The Neurodiverse Classroom, you will get:

+Life-time access to the online course (including any future revisions)

+Life-time access to the STUDENTS ONLY Facebook group where you can learn from like-minded colleagues

+Certificate of completion of 6 hours of professional development 

To learn more here: https://www.learnwithdremily.com/teachers

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Teachers, you are busy. You are asked to do too many things with too little time and energy. I’m here to remind you that you CAN find time for yourself. The most important thing to know is that a little bit of time will go a long way. Join me this week inside my FREE video series for elementary educators to learn how to beat burnout this school year. You’ll only need to set aside about 15 minutes a day. Today’s blog post is a sneak peek. Let’s get started!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
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Summer Workshops

I love education and helping children, teachers, and parents work together. I am so grateful for my experience working in public schools. It taught me that nothing is simple. There are no simple solutions, only complex solutions that involve staying curious and cultivating collaboration. Every child's brain is different so how can this be straight-forward? If we try to make things uniform, we fail someone. The complexity is actually the part that I love to help sort out. But working as a therapist with the most complex emotional and behavioral concerns is intense work. As therapists, we are trained to recognize compassion fatigue in ourselves and set boundaries to manage our energy. You know who else needs to know how to do this? Educators.

Teachers, if you’re ready to learn more about managing your energy and beating burnout this school year, I have created a free video series for teachers available the week of October 17th. You can sign up for this free resource here: https://www.learnwithdremily.com/beatburnout 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
Bring Dr. Emily to Your School
Summer Workshops

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
Bring Dr. Emily to Your School
Summer Workshops

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
Bring Dr. Emily to Your School
Summer Workshops

Neurodivergent students face more challenges at school than their neurotypical peers. They are led through a standardized curriculum that doesn’t always match their variable learning profile. For some, this will build character and grit, while others may feel helpless and lose their motivation. This often looks like they don’t care, but they do. 

All children care, but they might let go of their effort because the learning doesn’t feel attainable to them. In other words, it’s easier to “not care” than to continue trying and failing.

We must make learning feel attainable to every student by incorporating their interests and building their trust so learning feels relevant to them. 

Welcome to Learn with Dr. Emily, the podcast. Where parents and teachers come together for neurodivergent youth. I’m your host, Dr. Emily King, child psychologist and former school psychologist specializing in raising and teaching children and teens diagnosed with autism, ADHD, anxiety, learning disabilities, and/or giftedness. Each week, I share my thoughts on a topic related to psychology, parenting, education, or parent-teacher collaboration, which you can read on my blog or listen here. 

If you want to learn more about me and my online resources for parents and teachers, visit www.learnwithdremily.com. Let’s get started. 

Parents, you will notice that for the next four weeks I’m going to be talking directly to teachers. I invite you to stay on to read and listen. The reason I change my focus at times is so that parents can hear things from a teacher’s perspective and teachers can hear things from a parent’s perspective. Sharing our stories and perspectives is the foundation of effective collaboration. I hope you stay for it all. 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit learnwithdremily.substack.com

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Parenting On Your Own Path Course
Online Course for Elementary Teachers
Bring Dr. Emily to Your School
Summer Workshops