There's a version of this job where you never say "I don't know." Where you excuse yourself, look it up on your phone, and come back like you had it the whole time.

A professor I admired (and still do, genuinely) told my grad school class to do exactly that before our first practicums. At the time I thought, well, if that's what I have to do, I guess I'll do it. Thirteen years later, I think it's the worst advice I've ever heard.

This came to me on a whim while I was working on something else. No script, no notes. Just me thinking out loud about why perfectionism runs through our whole field.

A lot of us have been taught that we can't be anything less than perfect. So we cling to control, because we don't want anyone to know what we don't know.

And then we don't try. We don't take the one small step toward child-led speech therapy, because we can't do the whole thing perfectly yet.

I get into the pickleball invitation I turned down, the day I read a post about research and landed back in grad school shame, and what trying to be a perfect clinician cost me.

This one is as much for me as it is for you.

TIMESTAMPS

Part one 04:07 No script, no notes, and the podcast I was listening to in the car that started all of this 06:31 Perfectionism as a coping mechanism, and where imposter syndrome fits 08:56 The all or nothing mentality, and what it costs us as a field 11:18 The advice my grad school professor gave us right before our first practicums 15:59 The pickleball invitation, and why I won't do something I might be bad at 20:49 Thirteen years later: what trying to be a perfect clinician actually cost me

Part two (the recording picks back up here, four days later, after my kids came barging in) 02:27 The post about research, the shame that followed, and the kind of content creator I want to be 11:48 What I will and won't go back and learn, and why I'm okay drawing that line

CALL TO ACTION

If this one landed for you, would you leave a review wherever you listen? It would mean the world to me!

We're back, friends! In this episode, Nicole Casey explores the Communication Bill of Rights, focusing on rights five through eight, and discusses how supporting autistic children requires team effort and consistent application across settings.

Keywords: Communication Rights, Autism Support, AAC, Inclusive Education, Neuroaffirming Practices

Takeaways:

• Supporting rights five through eight often requires team effort and ongoing communication.
• Consistent use of AAC devices across settings is crucial for participation.
• Honoring a child's right to refuse or ask for things builds trust and safety.
• Proactively communicating about routines and objects helps reduce dysregulation.
• Supporting social interactions and relationships enhances quality of life.

GET YOUR FREE TICKET TO THE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT HERE!! HAPPENING AUGUST 10-13 ONLINE. 40+ NEUROAFFIRMING PRESENTERS, AUTISTIC ADULTS, AND AAC USERS. DON'T MISS IT!

Episode summary

A few years ago, Nicole worked with a little boy who loved the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables, and instead of treating those interests as rewards to earn, she let them lead the session. What started as sitting at the computer watching videos grew into expanded language, a homemade book, and one of the purest pictures of inclusion she has ever seen. This episode is about why deep interests are not a distraction from the work. They are the work.

Key topics with approximate timestamps

• 05:30 Why this episode is about using deep interests to build communication, not dangling them as a carrot.

• 06:00 Meet the child: a deep love of the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables.

• 07:47 We do not get to decide if a child's interest is cool enough or normal enough.

• 08:30 Working with a gestalt language processor, modeling language and following his lead at the computer.

• 10:07 The routine that kept growing, and why only offering a few adult-chosen options misses the magic.

• 11:30 Two years later: descriptive words, longer sentences, and a mom who celebrated every interest.

• 12:33 Why we do this for neurotypical kids (hello, monster truck era) but not always for autistic kids.

• 14:55 The first time he said "go down," and why we have been conditioned to call sessions like this lazy.

• 16:00 Printing pictures and making a simple book he could call his own.

• 18:00 The book becomes his bedtime story, read aloud to his brothers.

• 19:18 He carries the book to school and cannot wait to show his teacher.

• 20:00 The Target text: a video of him reading his book to his whole class.

• 21:30 The most real picture of inclusion, centering the autistic child, not our systems.

• 23:00 Stop overcomplicating it: let the interest lead, hold your boundaries, trust the process.

• 23:54 Deep interests at the Child-Led Autism Summit and how to join.

Resources and links mentioned

• The Child-Led Autism Summit, a free virtual event for SLPs, OTs, teachers, and autism support professionals. Get on the wait list or register at childled.org.

• YouTube and Google Images as tools for finding a child's preferred videos and pictures.

• Blank story books (a dollar store find) for making a child-authored book.

• The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective.

About Nicole

Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the voice behind The Child-Led SLP. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based habits to child-led, neuroaffirming practice through real-world frameworks, ready-to-use resources, and a community that gets it. She teaches from what she has learned in real sessions with real kids, and she believes connection is the prerequisite for progress, not something a child earns after they comply.

Save your spot for the FREE summit happening August 10-13 all online!

Most of us have referenced the Communication Bill of Rights, printed it out, maybe hung it on the office wall. But how many of us have actually sat with what each right means in real life? In part one of this series, Nicole reads all 12 rights and then goes deep on the first four, using real classroom stories to show where these rights get honored, and where they quietly get violated.

In this episode:

(00:03) What the Communication Bill of Rights is, and who publishes it (the NJC)

(02:06) Reading all 12 rights out loud, in full

(03:30) Right 1: Dignity and respect in all interactions, and why it comes first

(06:30) When adults call kids lazy, stubborn, or noncompliant in front of them

(09:48) The girl who kept falling asleep, and the chair that got taken away

(11:45) Right 2: Meaningful communication that is culturally and linguistically appropriate

(13:00) The AAC device that only spoke English in a family that did not

(17:00) The Halloween costume moment that taught Nicole a lasting lesson

(22:47) Right 3: Being addressed directly, not talked about as if not there

(24:00) A simple, professional way to shut down disrespect in the moment

(25:08) Right 4: Receiving a response to all communication, even when the answer is no

(26:00) "Matthew tomorrow," and why ignoring a child is never the goal

(29:59) Holding boundaries without dismissing or ignoring kids

(32:21) Why these rights should guide our decisions, not just decorate the wall

(33:00) The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free and virtual

Resources mentioned:

- NJC Communication Bill of Rights, third edition (search "NJC Communication Bill of Rights")

- National Joint Committee for the Communication Needs of Persons with Severe Disabilities

- The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free virtual event: childled.org

- The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

About Nicole:

Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the founder of The Child-Led SLP and The Child-Led Collective. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based practice to child-led, neuroaffirming care, with the frameworks, resources, and community to actually make it happen. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and runs the annual Child-Led Autism Summit.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE FREE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT HERE

A 19-year-old found the autism assessment report written about him at 15, and reading it made him feel like a stranger had published a list of everything wrong with him. That post sparked this honest conversation about how we write clinical documentation, who our reports actually serve, and how to be completely accurate without reducing a child to their deficits. Nicole shares a real AAC funding story, side-by-side sentence swaps, and practical ways to help families read reports as tools instead of verdicts.

In this episode:

(00:14) The Reddit post that started it all, and why listening to autistic adults matters

(02:26) How a report can make someone feel like a list of everything wrong with them

(08:00) Impact always trumps intent, and why this one brought up shame for Nicole too

(13:36) Who our reports are actually written for, the system versus the human

(15:00) The AAC funding story: a multimodal communicator who lit up on the device

(23:25) Walking the line between affirming language and building a case for insurance

(28:00) Accuracy is not the same as deficit framing, a side-by-side sentence example

(31:00) The neuroaffirming rewrite that says the same clinical thing, better

(33:30) Why so many of us default to deficit language (training, fear, efficiency)

(38:14) Concrete swaps you can use in your very next report

(43:04) The parent who said, for the first time someone understood my child

(45:00) Helping families read reports critically, as tools not verdicts

(50:00) What that 19-year-old deserved, and what our kids deserve

(52:35) The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free and virtual

Resources mentioned:

- The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

About Nicole:

Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the founder of The Child-Led SLP and The Child-Led Collective. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based practice to child-led, neuroaffirming care, with the frameworks, resources, and community to actually make it happen. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and runs the annual Child-Led Autism Summit.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE FREE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT COMING AUGUST 10-13!

A fellow SLP told Nicole a story she has not been able to shake: a room full of autistic adults sitting in front of their dinner, food in plain sight, not eating. Not because they were not hungry, but because no one had told them they could start yet. In this episode, Nicole traces that moment all the way back to the kids on our caseloads right now and unpacks prompt dependence, what it really is, how we accidentally create it, and why autonomy (not independence) is the goal worth protecting.

KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

(00:00) Why this topic has been on Nicole's heart and deserves its own episode

(02:00) The story that started it all: autistic adults waiting for permission to eat

(04:30) Autistic kids become autistic adults, and adult services are scarce

(07:00) The pattern: adults who have the skills but wait for the green light

(10:00) What prompt dependence looks like in the kids we support today

(12:00) The AAC user who hovered his finger and waited for an adult's reaction

(15:00) Hand over hand prompting and why Nicole never uses it

(18:00) The hand under hand story and how a child became dependent on that too

(22:00) Autonomy is not the same as independence, and why autonomy comes first

(25:00) Preventing prompt dependence, step one: audit your own prompting

(28:00) What Nicole noticed when she watched her own session recordings

(31:00) Getting comfortable with silence and real wait time

(34:00) Less intrusive prompts: expectant looks, gestures, and body language

(37:00) Arranging the environment so communication happens on its own

(40:00) Having a plan to fade prompts (without turning it into a strict regimen)

(43:00) Redefining what a successful session actually looks like

(46:00) The second annual Child-Led Autism Summit and a warm goodbye

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

- The Child-Led Collective membership: childled.org/collective

- The Child-Led Autism Summit (free, virtual, August 10 through 13). Join the wait list or grab your free ticket from the show notes.

ABOUT NICOLE

Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective, a membership community for SLPs, OTs, and special educators who want to practice with confidence using a child-led, neuroaffirming approach. She has spent more than 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and hosts the Let Them Lead podcast. Learn more at childled.org.

JOIN THE SUMMIT WAITLIST HERE

GRAB THE HANDOUT FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

LEARN MORE AND JOIN THE CHILD-LED COLLECTIVE

SUMMARY

A parent sits across from you and says, "I just want to be able to ask my child about his day and have him tell me about it." It is one of the most common requests we get, and it usually turns into a WH question goal that never quite goes anywhere. In this episode, Nicole shares the Personal Narrative Builder, the simple, flexible strategy she has used with nearly every student on her caseload to help kids relay real experiences to real people. She walks through where it came from, how it works step by step, and why it does a better job at the thing teams are actually asking for than drilling questions ever could.

KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

(00:30) The request almost every one of us has gotten: "I just want him to tell me about his day"

(04:49) Why this matters so much for families and for the child, including safety and connection

(05:30) The traditional move: writing a WH question goal, and why Nicole is not a fan

(06:57) The pilot question problem and what drilling WH questions actually teaches

(09:09) Everything that looks like progress is not progress

(11:21) Introducing the Personal Narrative Builder and what "personal narrative" really means here

(13:13) Not a formal story retell. The foundational skill of relaying an experience

(13:50) Why telling about your day is more complex than it sounds (recall, sequence, vocabulary, delivery)

(15:35) Why Nicole starts with what is happening right now, in the moment

(16:00) The student who started it all: a multimodal communicator who was not using verbs

(20:50) The idea from a colleague, Miss Alyssa, that changed everything: use the visual schedule

(23:00) Highlighting verbs on the schedule, then the word bank, then fading the support

(28:00) Writing a session recap together and why letting kids watch us write matters

(30:30) Handing the recap to the teacher: the moment it becomes real communication

(31:57) The sentence frames: Today I ___, I was with ___, we ___, it was ___

(34:22) Why Nicole expanded this to her whole caseload and how targets shift per child

(36:30) Communication for safety: kids being able to report if someone hurts them

(37:00) Step 1: pick your sentence frames about something happening right now

(38:12) Step 2: scaffold for the child (photos, icons, word banks, AAC modeling, past tense)

(41:13) Every version is valid, from pointing at one picture to writing full sentences

(42:30) Step 3: recap together at the end of the session (not a test, not a quiz)

(43:27) Why this makes a child-led session so easy: the agenda lives in the last five minutes

(45:51) Step 4: the child delivers the message to a real person and gets a real response

(48:00) Taking it home: typing the recap as an email to mom, dad, or a sibling

(48:57) Giving families a window and a better way in than "what did you do today?"

(50:13) Real emails from real kids and why grammatically imperfect is completely fine

(51:30) Communication going both ways: families sending photos and videos back

(53:30) A Collective member's win: the child who would not put the paper in his backpack

(57:06) Why this is a better path to the WH question skills teams ask for

(59:10) Wrap-up, the resource inside The Child-Led Collective, and an invitation

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

- The Child-Led Collective membership: childled.org/collective

- The Personal Narrative Builder workbook and implementation video (inside The Collective)

- The Child-Led Autism Summit (coming this August)

ABOUT NICOLE

Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective, a membership community for SLPs, OTs, and special educators who want to practice with confidence using a child-led, neuroaffirming approach. She has spent more than 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and hosts the Let Them Lead podcast. Learn more at childled.org.

Download the handout for this episode here!

Join us inside The Child-Led Collective! childled.org/collective

If you have been doing this work for a while and you are still mostly targeting requesting... I need you to hear this episode.

Not because requesting is wrong. But because there is so much more your student could be doing, and one specific communication function might be the exact thing that shifts the dynamic in your sessions.

This episode is about directing actions: what it is, why most of us skip it, and how to start building it in without overhauling your whole approach.

This is Part 3 of the expanding communication functions series, and today we are talking about directing actions. Directing actions is when a child tells another person what to do, things like push me, open, stop, go, come here. It is different from requesting because the child is directing a person to do something, not asking for an object. Nicole shares why this communication function matters for autonomy, vocabulary growth, and real social back-and-forth, and why she spent way too many years ignoring it. She also walks through practical strategies for modeling in context, working with teams, and supporting both gestalt language processors and early communicators who use AAC.

What You'll Learn

• Why teaching only requesting can accidentally teach kids that communication is just a transaction for getting things

• What "directing actions" actually means, and how it is different from the requesting you are already targeting

• The moment Nicole realized she had been sitting across from kids and making them earn pretzels they both knew they wanted, over and over

• Why giving kids the words to direct other people is one of the most powerful autonomy moves you can make with autistic students

• The starter verbs that make this easier to teach (open, stop, go, push, jump, pour, spin) and why they work when more abstract verbs do not

• How to model directing actions without drilling, and why you should never make a child repeat what you just modeled to get the action

• What to do with the "verbs are too abstract for my kids" objection, and why it is less true than we think

• How to use playful sabotage (doing the wrong thing on purpose) to actually give kids a reason to direct you

• How to bring your para and team with you without making them feel like they are starting from scratch

• Why boundary-setting still applies: directing actions does not mean the child runs everything

Your next steps:

• Join The Child-Led Collective at childled.org/collective

• Subscribe to Let Them Lead so you do not miss the next episode in this communication functions series

• Share this episode with a para or team member who works snack time, swing time, or any routine where directing actions could show up naturally

Download this episode's summary and action plan

Learn more about The Child-Led Collective

Nicole shares the real stories behind how she used to use kids' special interests as reinforcers (Harry Potter worksheets, co-opting a child's favorite songs) and the moment she realized kids were actually hiding their interests to protect them. She walks through what it looks like now when deep interests become the therapy itself, including a student whose love of Google Maps turned into sessions full of language, sequencing, and inside jokes. She also talks through what to do when a team or family worries that a deep interest is "too distracting," including a Hardest Case Roundtable example about a child fascinated by clocks and a family who removed every letter and number toy from their home on a previous therapist's advice.

KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] Welcome and intro: today's topic is special interests and deep interests

[02:02] How most of us were trained: interests as "reinforcers," withhold and reward

[04:28] The Harry Potter example: camouflaging worksheets with a child's interest

[06:49] When kids see through it: "You're using my interests against me"

[07:45] The student who loved music and stopped sharing his songs with the team

[09:14] The coloring book analogy: what if someone used YOUR hobby as bribery?

[11:34] A current student who loves maps and has an incredible sense of direction

[13:42] What sessions look like now: Google Maps as the therapy itself

[16:06] Why Nicole hears the most language and sees the most progress inside deep interests

[17:50] The "there's you!" inside joke on Google Earth and what it reveals about connection

[18:54] "What if that's ALL they want to do?" Addressing the tension honestly

[20:41] When the interest won't fit (gym class, broken technology) and presuming competence

[22:54] The slippery slope fear and why it doesn't hold up after 12 years of practice

[25:15] Building variety within a single deep interest (crash pad example)

[27:30] Hardest Case Roundtable coaching: a child obsessed with clocks and time

[29:58] Making the clock interest a strength: the timekeeper idea and wearing a watch

[32:11] The family who removed all letter and number toys on a therapist's advice

[34:21] Nicole's son and monster trucks: the double standard for neurotypical deep interests

[36:41] The relief on a parent's face when given permission to lean in

[39:05] Deep interests are doorways, not obstacles

RESOURCES MENTIONED

The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

The Hardest Case Roundtable (monthly feature inside The Collective)

ABOUT NICOLE

Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective. She has spent over 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and is on a mission to help SLPs, OTs, and special educators shift from compliance-based practices to child-led, neuroaffirming approaches that actually work. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two young children.

Download this episode's summary and action plan

Learn more about The Child-Led Collective

EPISODE SUMMARY

Nicole breaks down the Let Them Lead Framework, the four-part approach she uses in every child-led session: Regulate, Connect, Honor, and Expand. She walks through what each component looks like in real sessions (including a monster chase game and a little boy who loved rainbow order), talks about why "child-led" is not a buzzword, and explains why these four things are not a step-by-step checklist but a set of lenses she keeps in mind throughout every session.

KEY TOPICS + TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] What does "child-led" actually mean? And why Nicole still finds it hard to answer

[02:29] Introducing the Let Them Lead Framework

[03:15] When "play-based" became a buzzword and Nicole's first "huh" moment at a local clinic

[04:48] Doing the hard parts of child-led therapy, not just the fun parts

[05:30] The gatekeeping problem in our field and why Nicole is not that person

[07:12] Social media pressure, imperfection, and giving yourself grace

[08:30] "You're not wrong, you're early." Why child-led professionals are early adopters

[11:49] In 10 years, everyone will say they were always child-led

[13:00] The Let Them Lead Framework overview: Regulate, Connect, Honor, Expand

[14:12] These are not linear steps. They're components that float within a session

[15:30] REGULATE: What regulation actually means (hint: it's not just "calm")

[16:26] Nicki Smit's explanation that changed everything for Nicole

[18:51] Can the child's nervous system tolerate connection right now?

[21:09] Regulation as an ongoing lens, not a checkbox at the start of the session

[23:30] The monster chase game: co-regulation in action (the sleepy, tiptoe monster)

[28:03] Explaining co-regulation to a parent in real time

[30:07] CONNECT: Why being a partner matters more than being the director

[32:33] "Slower but stickier" progress in a child-led approach

[34:57] The window story: building connection by joining a child where they already are

[37:18] Retraining the voice in our heads that says "I'm not doing anything"

[39:35] Letting go of the anxiety about what others might think of your sessions

[41:57] HONOR: Understanding what a child is trying to accomplish and not getting in the way

[44:18] The rainbow crayons story: honoring a child's vision

[48:54] Honoring how a child communicates, not just what they're doing

[51:12] Multimodal communication and why one way is not better than another

[53:33] EXPAND: Where clinical expertise meets child-led practice

[55:55] Modeling one step beyond where the child is (GLP example)

[58:19] "If I push too hard and expand, the other three components fall apart"

[59:30] Why rubric-based goals make the Let Them Lead Framework possible

[01:00:40] How the framework was developed from hundreds of hours of real sessions

[01:02:57] Going deeper inside The Child-Led Collective

RESOURCES MENTIONED

The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

Nicki Schmidt Therapy https://www.instagram.com/nikkismittherapy/

ABOUT NICOLE

Nicole Casey, MS, CCC-SLP, is the founder of The Child-Led SLP and creator of The Child-Led Collective. She has spent over 12 years working exclusively with autistic children and is on a mission to help SLPs, OTs, and special educators shift from compliance-based practices to child-led, neuroaffirming approaches that actually work. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two young children.