Marni welcomes Shanenn Bryant to the Life Check Yourself studio where the duo discusses how to crack the control code and transform the way we view jealousy. Shanenn is a jealousy and relationship confidence expert. She’s also the host of the Top Self podcast and founder of self-development company, Top Self. It’s not just about eradicating jealousy but understanding that this feeling isn’t the problem, but rather a symptom of it. And the answers can be found by examining yourself. 

 

*         Focus on yourself

*         Lengthen the space between trigger and response

*         How to foster self-awareness

 

What’s Jealousy Got to Do With it? [05:35]

 

Jealous stems from somewhere internal, from a place of insecurity. And that could either be because of some type of dysfunction in your childhood or because you went through a bad experience in a romantic relationship. Either way, to understand the feeling itself, you need to look at yourself and ask the right questions.

 

It doesn’t necessarily have to always be that it was a cheating incident. I felt like I was insecure and jealous before that ever happened.

 

Make Room for Accountability [14:49]

 

While it may be difficult to do so in certain situations, it’s important to take responsibility rather than blame your partner straight away. Self-awareness is key.

 

You cannot change something that is blocking you, unless you really take a look at what you think, do, and say.

 

Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries [21:10]

 

Before getting into a relationship, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about boundaries, particularly those regarding interactions with exes. It allows both partners to understand each other’s expectations.

 

Have that conversation to figure out what that relationship is like beforehand and then you make the decision if that’s a relationship you want to be in.

 

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