Life Uncut

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. Today's ep is unlike anything we have had to record before and are heartbroken by the decision that has been made for the show. 

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Hey Lifers!
Laura has had to go on a 'fishing' expedition in the grossest of places all thanks to Lola! Has your kid ever 'dropped' something valuable in a place that they shouldn't have?
Britt tried to replace the shrine but failed epically and has had to employ a man who woke up in our friend's bed to fix the problem! 

Vibes for the week:
Britt - Picking up a new hobby. Basketball
Laura - India Oxenberg's book 'Still Learning'
Keeshia - By Maay Brooklyn work bag

Then we get into your questions!

DO I START SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS OR JUST HAVE NO SEX LIFE THANKS TO MY PARTNER?
My partner and I have been together for 15 years. We have a 7 year old child who we love. But our sex life is 0. We talked a few months ago about opening our relationship. We both agreed and didn't have many rules. A few weeks later, I slept with an old friend. My partner was unhappy to say the least. Since then he convinced me to let him keep sleeping around but I can only see people I don't know. Now my question is... I'm not comfortable with people I don't know. Sex to me is intimate and needs friendship. Do I start sleeping with strangers or just have no sex for the rest of my life?

MY HUSBAND GAVE ME MONEY AS A BDAY PRESENT
My husband recently gave me $400 in cash for my birthday present.  For context, we have a joint account and each has a personal account and we get paid equal amounts in our personal accounts every week. We keep a money tin at home where we keep a bit of cash to the side to spend on joint expenses. The $400 birthday money came from our shared tin. At the time I was super grateful and thankful for the cash gift. He also took me out to dinner and paid for that with his personal money which was part of the gift. He said the money is to go towards getting a necklace made that I’ve been wanting for a long time. We aren’t huge on gift giving but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he didn’t put any time into thinking about a nice present for me that wasn’t just grabbing money out of the tin and putting it in a card. He did cook me breakfast and show me love in other ways on my birthday but I wish he put some thought into a gift for me. We do live very busy lives and are both self employed and work together so I don’t want to be too hard on him as life has been pretty hectic for both of us lately. How would you bring this up, if even at all? Or do I just move on and stop even thinking about it? Maybe I’m just being completely unreasonable.

DO I GIVE HIM ANOTHER GO AFTER HE DUMPED ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL?
My partner & I were together for 2 years, lived together, were speaking of marriage & kids within the coming year. 8 months ago, something happened randomly and my partner started pulling away. He was so checked out. He said he wanted to go to Bali with a mate and when he returned home he dumped me 2 days later. Little did I know he found a new girlfriend over in Bali, made it official & hard launched their relationship on Instagram 2 weeks later. I was beyond heart broken. I moved back in with my parents & it was the worst time of my life. Fast forward 8 months, he’s called things off with the new girl & has said he can’t move on from me. He said that he’s realised what he’s lost, he has massive issues & is willing to do anything to fix things including couples counselling and deleting his social media in order to gain my trust back… My whole family & friends hate him & I don’t know what to do. Is it worth giving him another go & trust he won’t break my heart again? Or am I risking ending up back at square one and too much damage has been done?

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Ever feel as though you’re not quite able to ‘do it all?’ During the past 2 decades, there has been a huge push into the world of ‘hustle culture.’ So many of us feel like we are constant hot messes, rushing around to try and get a million things in our day done. 

Joining the podcast today is Israa Nasir, New York based psychotherapist and author of the new book “Toxic Productivity.” 

Israa is here today to help us let go of the belief that our value is defined by how busy and successful we feel. Israa speaks about this as someone who currently has skin in the game, not from a place of hindsight. We are all having to manage this idea of toxic productivity now!

We chat:

• Productivity no longer just applies to work. It’s infiltrated our romantic relationships, friendships, parenting and personal health
• Productivity guilt; the guilty feeling when we ‘relax’
• The need for external validation can look like people pleasing or a workaholic
• Chaotic state of a dysregulated nervous system becoming familiar e.g. ”I do my best work under pressure.” “I thrive in chaos.”
• Dynamics that keep us constantly busy, but never satisfied such as; self-worth, shame, social comparison, burnout, and perfectionism
• Cultivating a healthier perspective on achievement to understand, manage, and shift our intense emotions 

You can find more from Israa, including her new book at her website 

You can follow Israa on Instagram 

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Hey Lifers,

It's officially Britt's bangiversary! She's tried to dupe Ben into a fancy gift but Ben's aware of her antics.
We speak about the advice we got from our grandmothers. Some of it hasn't aged particularly well. 

We might have found the world's most conflict avoidant man; the man who *likely has faked his own death to ditch his family and go to a woman in Europe. There was a video filmed back in June (two months before Ryan Borgwardt's disappearance). It shows a man on a bike asking if he should go to Uzbekistan to meet a woman, despite being married. After the video went viral, authorities say that the video isn't Ryan. 

Also, how do you like your labia? We've spoken about symmetry, length and comfort when it comes to labia but labia puffing seems new.
We ask:

• Is our generation more obsessed than ever with labia?

• Do you think this trend highlights empowerment or unnecessary pressure for perfection?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

On the show: 

• A good deed backfires
• Do you acknowledge the flatulance
• Callumn Hole
• Mitch's pitches

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Hey Lifers!
Britt has had an extremely embarrassing moment at the hairdresser. We would want the ground to swallow us whole.
Has your dog ever caused you to be in the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Laura is having a bit of trouble getting Lola to give up something that she loves. Lola is in negotiations and Laura is struggling to reach a mutually agreed upon solution!

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Martha on Netflix
Laura: Marigold’s Magic Stars book by Samantha Wills
Keeshia: RecipeTin Eats Tonight Cookbook

Then we get into your questions!

I CAN'T SLEEP WHEN WE ARE IN THE SAME BED
I’ve been with my partner for about four years, he’s 33 and I’m 27. Everything’s great BUT the one thing that I cannot do with him, is sleep in the same bed. This is largely due to his snoring and sleep noises combined with my light sleeping. He would love to share a bed but I seriously just don’t sleep when I’m in the same bed. We always have great sex, have a cuddle at night, but then I’ll go to my room to sleep and then will wake each other up in the morning with a cuddle. It’s been a great arrangement but I get so worked up and worried about ever going away together. I feel like when we do share a room I’m sleep deprived, miserable and resentful. We want to go overseas together soon but again I get worried about future endeavours together because I’m scared I’ll never be able to sleep in the same bed and have a good sleep. Is this a sign that it’s not going to work? Or do we just have to keep making arrangements for separate beds where we can, and I get used to no sleep when the occasions arise that we do need to share a bed? Also just for context, he has undergone nasal surgery to straighten his septum in order to try fix the snoring and I’ve invested in so many different types of ear plugs but nothing has worked. Help please 

BOYFRIEND SUPPORTS TRUMP
I love my boyfriend but I think he supports Trump. After Trump just got elected, he said “well what did he do that was actually so bad the first time?” He thinks the hate against him is a media conspiracy. Can I be in a relationship with someone who feels this way about misogynistic people?

HOLDING IN MY GAS AROUND HIM
I’ve been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, we’re exclusive and it’s going well. It’s the first time I’m getting serious with someone so the first time I’ve been hanging out with a guy quite a lot over night/all weekend. The issue is I am quite a gassy person… I don’t have any stomach issues. I just tend to need to do a few pop offs after big meals or in the morning, and I also poop quite often too. I have been WAY too nervous to poop around him as I get scared he’s going to go in after me and smell it. I also am holding in ALL my farts. This is causing me serious stomach aches and pain. I’m often recovering from holding them in for 1-2 days after seeing him. Side note- he farts in front of me but I’m way too embarrassed to do it back…

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Do you have a ‘type’? No, not a physical type. What do the people you’ve been in relationships all have in common? It’s time for us to fully unpack why we tend to go for the same types of people over and over again, and how to break the cycle. 

Sabrina Zohar is a relationship expert, entrepreneur and podcast host. Sabrina breaks down a lot of the ‘therapy terms’ and neuroscience to focus on doing the internal work and recognising patterns to chase the right kinds of connections and build healthy relationships. She’s known for her no bullshit relationship advice and telling you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear!

We chat:

• Identifying the patterns and taking accountability for what we are doing to contribute to them

• Bullshit blueprint - the core beliefs and things that were ingrained as you as a kid

• Becoming better ‘buyers’ in the dating world

• Can you trust ‘the spark?’

• Looking at ‘what is’ rather than ‘what if’
  
  

You can find more from Sabrina’s website 

And Sabrina’s instagram 

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Hey lifers!
Laura and Matt both forgot their 2nd wedding anniversary. Do you celebrate each year?Are you the person who remembers 'dates'? We're talking anniversaries, birthdays, 'firsts' etc. How about your partner? What happens if one of you is a date celebrator and the other isn't?

Britt has picked her wedding dress and Laura wants to see it! Did you share your wedding dress with your friends before your actual wedding day?

The government has announced proposed legislation to be introduced to parliament that would ban kids under 16 from using social media, even if they have parental consent. 
Initially we thought this was great. But once we scratched the surface we realised that maybe it wasn't as good as it initially appeared.
We speak about the pros and cons of implementing age restrictions on social media, whether it's a bit of a performative action, how it would be implemented and if there are alternative ways to protect kids online. 

Britt got to enjoy Coldplay and Laura got to enjoy Chris Martin walk solo down Bondi beach looking very, very 'cool'!

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

On the show: 

• 2024 Oxford Dictionary Word of the year 
• Tom Hanks and the best years of life
• First date red flag questions
• Mitch's naked haircut
• Jamie Oliver 

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Hey lifers and welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions!

First question of the day is who is your 'hear me out' character (which fictional character are you attracted to)? Laura revealed her attraction to Barney the dinosaur by accident the other day and Britt is quite the fan of the ninja turtle Leonardo who would be in their 40s/50s now...

Keeshia has a question about tipping etiquette; how do you feel when the tip is automatically applied when it comes to pay and if you don't want to tip, you're expected to select to remove it?

Vibes for the week:
Laura: The Mailroom co
Britt: The Trial of Diddy
Keeshia: Christophe Robin Scalp Scrub

Then we answer your questions!

HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO USE OUR EMBRYOS
My ex husband left me & after 4 years of IVF. We have embryos in storage (we have one beautiful little IVF baby girl) who is my entire world. But I would love to make her a big sister one day too! He has so easily just said let’s donate the spare embryos. I am mortified by how easily he has suggested this and absolutely not interested in donating, I want them! They’re my babies. I walked through the toughest times of my life undergoing IVF and on my 8th transfer, I got my beautiful girl. I’m 33 and I don’t know if I should freeze my eggs and get a donor sperm .. or wait till I ‘might’ meet someone. PSA - I will continue to pay for storage for my embryo babies as I love them too! I also didn’t see our marriage being something that would end but he clearly fell out of love with me & left me 10 months postpartum.

CHRISTMAS WITH PARTNER’S FAMILY
I have been invited to spend Xmas with my partner's family interstate (we are mid 20s and dated for almost 6 years). My family has been disapproving/disappointed when I told them about not having Xmas at home and tried to guilt trip me out of accepting the invite. However, I really do want to go. How do I approach the topic again with them and is it wrong to spend one Xmas away from your family?

THE SEX ISN'T GOOD. HOW DO I NAVIGATE THIS?

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 6 months and everything is great. He is a wonderful guy and we share the same sense of humour. He could be my person, however there is one glaring problem. The sex is not good. He's a jack hammer kind of guy where he seems to only be interested in pleasing himself. I have done all of the things that you would normally recommend; we have had the conversations and I have tried to softly guide him to do the things in the way that I like it. The problem is that he does the things I like for about a week and then goes back to the jack hammering. How do I navigate this? How important is having great sex in a relationship? 

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