Live IFS

By Internal Family Systems SessionsHealth & Fitness Mental Health

Live IFS episodes

February 14, 2024 350: Clare A. revisits
🔸 The answer, what you've been waiting for: What’s in the box??
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Maybe I'm making too many assumptions.
Feeling great. I started a new parts-work protocol about 3 days ago and this was day one of focusing on my “best” box, the biggest one still in shadow. IFS is the best.
Oh and my ego-assasin (whom I met this morning) wants me to include some caveats about how maybe I just got lucky, Clare should get most/all credit, and also we’re all gonna die anyway, and also I’m sure to fail or have a shitty call soon so don’t bet on me.
(Watch out for him! He’s just as ruthless with others' egos too!)

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1 hr 15 min
February 12, 2024349: Charlotte A. revisits
🔸 The show must go on, a kick into chaos, and a James exile.
📌 'References to oranges was from a not-published convo. James' reference, "I like my stuff" etc comes from the best youtube video ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg
🔹 Parts:
P: Self (-like?) Relaxed is blissful, euphoric, delicious, exotic. Expansive awareness (but why can’t I just have my state without the interruptions!) Can’t make myself understood and hassled by the need to.

P: Striving to be on top of it all. Trying to make an impression. Hit the marks, Get the pose right. 21, self is like smothering mom.

E: 14, 8 some little neuroses. Being dismissed. Unwelcome in convo. Chaos on set. Wants to have fun adult convo. Rather be biking or at pond.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I don’t know if it’s ADHD or a herniated disc, but I literally cannot sit in one chair for two hours straight. Maybe that’s a good thing. I’m just saying it here because it explains my fading presence towards the end of this call. Charlotte goes above and beyond in her homework, and the story teller seemed present throughout our visit w exile, so I chose quantity over quality.
I still suspect the delicious exotic maybe a feel-good part

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1 hr 43 min
February 10, 2024 348: Theresa A. revisits
🔸 Cosmic baby's collision
📌 Theresa Followed up:
Thanks again for the help James. 🐝 That was a surprising session. I had it in my mind that it was going to be arduous, that I was going to be exhausted after. Not the case. I guess I should know by now not to try to predict. It's coming together, how those three parts are connected. Pops, Defiance, and the cosmic infant. ✨ Protector, fire fighter, and (now) cherished little one who I'm no longer afraid of. 🤓 Thanks for helping me be with them. Especially Pops. THAT was arduous, given all the resistance from the rest of the crew. Feel like he was the key to some locked doors that were now starting to open.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Unsure about how to help people + babies. They said there wouldn’t be a manual after all. A vastness of experience for me too. It’s like all the emotions, like this elation and celebration and also hush!

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52 min
February 08, 2024347: Onyx A. - first call
🔸 All around anxious
🔷 Parts:
I want to disappear

critic

anxious about safety or ability to land

Hinders me from doing new things

annoyed with anxious

I’m trying to get some stuff done

Afraid I wouldn’t make it…

Tearing up about how much time I spend not feeling safe.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I had some anxious parts up the whole time. New caller with some quick shifts that I didn't interpreting so well. In hindsight I see it’s her clarity, but in the moment I don’t know that. The first part she brought up was “not wanting to be here” (suicidal sounding) combined w strong anxiety and occasional nonverbals (laughter, tears) has my parts on edge. But feeling more confident now that I see that it’s clarity, intuition, and ADHD. Still I would like to get more confident and stay curious in these situations too.

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1 hr 16 min
January 24, 2024346: Olivia A. revisits
🔸 "I'm sad about a plant." Witnessing the inherent trauma of existing. The first noble truth.
🔹 Parts:
There must be another way to resolve this, we can’t figure out a rational answer until the exile is healed

Weird to tell parents

Futile parts

How can I feel like the world is a good place when I rely on their death to live

Can’t grieve anything cuz I'd have to grieve everything
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Keep going (in myself).

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1 hr 24 min
January 21, 2024345: Bee A. revisits
🔸 Meaning without the making. A little closer to home.
🔹 Parts:
P: Meaning maker. To avoid regret and get belonging.

P: Afraid of losing control (is making me sick) “see what happens when you don’t think ahead?” Plan better!

P: Cloud: how could you ever do all that writing?

E: Wants to belong. Wants spotlight for more than her problems.

E: a bother to others

P: if you see her as well, you’ll stop taking care of yourself
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Day 4 of poor sleep.
In our last call I hinted at the idea of going more direct to exiles. It was intentional, but I could have been more upfront in getting permission, etc. Experiment. I wasn’t checking in enough w Self's presence around exile though.

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1 hr 13 min
December 30, 2023344: Justine A. revisits
🔸 Wins, apps & systems, and efficient parts work!
📌 Justing followed up:
I listened to Bee #310 this morning. Terrible insomnia so you both kept me company. Such a moving session (#2 particularly), and your clarity of defining the steps at the end was great. I noted them down. Because I always forget what to do when I try and do solo work (what question am I supposed to ask now? What happens next?). So I wrote them down in Notes. And then I turned to my system and put the recorder on. It was good. I *think I got all the way to unburdening a young part by following the steps. I made it methodical and I gave total permission to my system to be experimental and play. No expectation of outcome. No judgement of method.
And this is what I want to do for now. Need to do maybe. I need to claim the process and make it mine, so it isn’t just once a fortnight/month with you. That doesn’t feel like it’s really honouring or even loving my system. I mean it’s great, I love the calls with you, there’s a relief even in handing over the witness / holding space roll, or rather having my witness (Self) be witnessed and held. AND I want to be meeting my system all the time, as a complete and intrinsic part of my every day life. I can’t know my system well if it’s only you taking notes.
Anyhoo, those are my thoughts. And that’s all to say that I’m going to continue with this grand experiment around the parts we spoke about above. I’ll keep you posted (and I’ll keep my calls booked with you too 😊)
P - 14yo Fearful of overwhelm going deep today, thinking part in a hammock , perfect vantage point
E - Lonely fearful, wants to weep and wail. Filling the oceans of the world w its tears. No one cared, no one listened, and when they were there, they turned away.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I knew I was letting parts speak when I got into the ChatGPT etc stuff. So nice to trust Justine-Self to guide us back, feels very 1+1=10

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1 hr 18 min
December 28, 2023343: Sienna A. revisits
🔸 Stop eating, I hate you, Kill yourself, I got you.
🔹 Parts:
Stop eating! Self hate because ate, failed, regret. You’re a glutton. Large (like mom) is ugly, disgusting, dirty. Thinks im 16-17

No, you can be large and happy

Cynical you’re not gonna fix this, so you are wasting your time

12-16 she has an eating disorder, I want attention like her
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I knew Sienna was traveling, not settled, so I opted for a little more explaining, a little less directing. Also followed up w suicide prevention info and reminded her of all the things I'm NOT an expert in (eating disorders, suicide, therapy/counseling, IFS)

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1 hr 26 min
December 26, 2023342: Genie A. revisits
🔸 IFS is pointless, Genie's a s@#%, shut it down.

📌 Genie Followed up:
Thanks James. That was pretty important I think. 🥰 🤗 🙏
A lot of gifts in that. Hope I can do them justice.
feel like there are some precious things that I need to care of. Not quite sure how yet, but.....
Oh!! I think that might be a sort of self quality? Maybe? Taking care of precious things?
Oh my.
🔹 Parts:
P: Have to make Genie feel bad, so she at least knows her effect on people. Makes her withdraw so she doesn’t get rolled over:

E: Stop existing, doormat

P: Why is it so fucking scary Leads to:

P: Shut down and then

P: Perky part!
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Didn’t have full permission to go to “you’re shit”. And maybe I was having too much fun at times, but “be more serious” didn't feel like the right move…. Coulda been more efficient w "shut down", it was clear about things that I overasked about.

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1 hr 39 min
December 19, 2023341: Mio A. revisits
🔸 The Supercontroller: brush your teeth, go to school, no more eating.
🔹 Parts:
13.5 yo anorexic

7-8 yo helpless in the chaos. If i wasn’t ugly why wasn’t I loved.

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1 hr 20 min