Live IFS

🔸 Hold on. What is the point if the problem is big and huge and not in here?

📌 Theresa followed up:
Hi. thanks again for your time and help last night. I was just thinking, when people ask me right before a trip if I am "excited" , I always think, "I'll be excited when the plane takes off, until then, there is SO much to do and things to take care of, it just feels like a marathon of chores.". Anyway, I hope your trip is beautiful. I wanted to ask more about what it was that you were hoping to accomplish there, but I couldn't tell if you really wanted to say more.
Last night I stayed with the little girl part for a few minutes. I am now pretty sure that she is more kindergarten age than 3/4. But she does also have memories of older ages than that, too.
When you left us, we were entering a carnival type place with rides. We got on a ferris wheel at her suggestion. A self like part appeared, I noticed. So I told her that she could ride with us if she wanted to, but that I was taking care of the little girl, she didn't need to do that. Then it was just me and the girl. While the ferris wheel was moving, she wanted to show me all of the feelings that she could feel. She threw a little tantrum, not at me, but just because she was allowed to. She showed sadness, and was also loud, and "bored". I was not allowed to express boredom as a kid, as it seemed to make my mom mad. She would often say with great disdain , almost disgust in her voice "I WISH I had time to be bored!". That was a surprising one.
After that she wanted to go back and tell my mom how she could have done better, so we went there and told my mom that all feelings were valid. This one was a loving redo, in that she was not interested in expressing anger at my mom. She seemed to understand that my mom didn't know how to do it right. So we told her that all feelings were allowed, and that her job was not to edit them, but rather to teach her child how to express them in ways that were healthy. At home among those who love you should be a place where you can do that. Anyway, that is my update.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Dunno. I'm taking a gamble by talking over her, but also if I ignore parts talking over the exile. When Theresa is in Self and oriented, she can move with lightning speed. But we get stuck sometimes disagreeing on direction. She keeps reporting that it's working, so maybe I shouldn't do much differently.

Also do differently: never edit a podcast again. If Ivan is away, we wait!

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🔸 A beautiful mess

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Exactly how I felt getting into it: "this is just a room of children, I know how to handle this."

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🔸ATJOS: You guys can talk & cry all you want (in these session), I'll be here doing the real things

📌 Charlotte followed up: Superfun session and I love my failure list. Ten solid failures and my Defeated Part is feeling very seen. Thank you.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Day 3 of deep relaxation (trying to see how much it affects an ailment of mine). But I always regret skipping much of my call prep.

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🔸 1️⃣  Progress tracking toward knowing the secrets of the universe.
***
2️⃣ A baby! Is this real? Going into the grief.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

2️⃣

It’s times like these when I feel most dumb. But also most redundant, so it kinda works out.

Seems without exception: when mother is rocking baby, I can only get in the way. 

P: "James talking sooo much”… yeah ok, but, was that from an agenda part? I wanted my only agenda to be connection.

P: “But james you weren’t connecting you were talking too much”. Maybe. But I think I know what connecting is. I know agenda part better than I ever have, and I know its exile, and it’s context. Agenda part already said it’s not the connector, it's the figure outer. So how much hugging do we expect from it? 

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🔸Everybody leaves when they’re happy

📌 Bee followed up:

I listened to the session you and I did together (#327) and I wept in gratitude for your patience and guidance and I wept for the parts that were met. That’s a different space than I usually go to. I noticed there was no one saying Listen to your voice! What were you thinking? 

Just tears of compassion and so much gratitude.

🔷 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Something. When Bee is unsure of who’s who, I need a better way to ascertain and help us get clear. But her Self is present, maybe “IFS by any other name is just as sweet”, and there's not much I need to do differently. I was hesitant to offer other steps with part since their connection was so strong.

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🔸 The dad shield

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Let Justine know what an honor it is

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🔸 Carl Jung learns IFS

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Trying something new: walking during this call. In the past we haven't gone ultra slow, so I wanted to see if movement would help me keep up. It didn't, I quit after ~20m.

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🔸 Appreciating the compliment repeller, Sienna with another high score!
🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Somewhere in the 4th quarter I took my foot off the gas, which might have been the right move considering all the parts we met. But whenever I go off script, it’s a lot easier for my parts to take over, start blabbing, etc. Seems we came in for a soft landing but maybe got lucky.

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🔸 “I don’t know what I believe anymore”, radiating oceanic love (for fuck’s sake!), and reactions to calls w Bee.

🔹 Parts:

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🔸 Triggered. "When I was 5 I liked to tie my belt so tight..."

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Obviously my own parts are triggered at start of call (yes, published with approval). We're "just chatting"; I'm not asking those parts of me for space. But plenty of missteps.

I kept trying to call on my curiosity in the beginning but … fitness *does* prevent chaos, create safety. I'm trying to get clear on what parts are involved. And after her story my parts are saying "How awful! Let’s both put down the IFS, stop looking for childhood connections...”

Then I'm yielding to the story teller. I'd like to address it more directly, but fortunately I think it merely slows us down, doesn’t stop us.

When she very first mentioned that 5 year-old, it stuck out to me as a part/memory we had not encountered before. For the next 20-30 minutes she's searching for parts to change her relationship with, and I'm stopping myself from suggesting: how about we go and see about that five-year-old. I'm celebrating my noticing/intuition, but also wishing I spoke for it sooner.

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