Live IFS

🔸 1️⃣ Choppin’ it up with the tired part

2️⃣

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🔸 Settling the score with mom.

📌 Theresa followed up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEduv96dMw8

Making good progress with "Defiance" (which is what the part we were working with last session has decided she would like to be called.)

I stayed with her that day, after our session. She was curled up sleeping, and I curled up behind her, as Self. I lay down on my couch to be with her. It immediately became apparent that I should bring my cat who was laying on the "real world" couch with me being the snuggliest being on the planet, to the scene with her, as all of my parts seem to appreciate cats. So there we lay, three spoons, Self the big spoon, her the middle, and Bruno the cat as the littlest spoon.

Although she was asleep at that time, I softly repeated into the back of her head: *I love you exactly as you are. You do not need to be different. You can be angry until the day we die and I will love you. You are perfect. I am here for you always. I love you. I love you. I love you. *

The next day when I checked in again, she was awake. She is still tired, but hopeful. There is a scene that is stuck for her. There was this one time ever, when my mom slapped me across the face for "being smart with her". It was a shock, She did not see it coming. And she, like the "demon child" part wanted to throw a royal fucking fit. I watched her scream at my mom and trash the house, just like Demon Child. This particular incident was so insulting to her. She is not ready to forgive, she just wants to be seen in her anger for now.

I was on a walk yesterday, thinking about her and relistening to the session.... there was no song that day, but yesterday when I relistened, this one came up. It's kindof on the "cheesy" side for most of my parts, but the message is so much in line with her. Can't be rushed to "let go", can't be expected to be different before she had an opportunity to be with Self. "Darkness has its teaching"

🔹 Parts:

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🔸 "Quasi-spiritual bullshit..." Meet Jerry!

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Don’t tell Jerry, but my hopes are sky high! I felt like I was leading a little too much. But got lucky.

I will take the copyright on “how do you feel towards the entity” though. That was *my* breakthrough in this call.

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🔸 So right, so true, so me — so blended! Know, don’t tell.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I stumbled into the call, unsettled. A part chastising for time wasted, I'm supposed to be preparing for a call, not helping a bee…

Then Bee told me she was a beekeeper, and something about sweetness and honey. I short-circuited, remembering a dream I had last night. Christmas w my family of origin. They gave me a tiny vial of the most exotic honey. Rare and magnificent and almost sacred, and it was mine. I tasted a drop: "like apricot and marshmallow and roasted peanuts and sour candy!" And I passed it around for all to try. It was all so nice! So nice that they knew me well enough to choose it for me, and that feeling I had of just wanting to give it right back. We all laughed and talked about how exquisite it was…

I dream about honey a lot, and I dream about my family a lot. But this one was so sweet it woke me up.

During our call I suddenly realized the meaning of my dream. The joy and certainty of this gift. Certainty meaning: I knew how special it was (more than they did) I was the connoisseur, exploring and describing the intricacies. But everyone could enjoy it. And a drop was all anyone needed.

At the top of the call I picked the target, I didn’t ask Bee to decide. I had parts saying “Mistake! How will you explain this? Why?” and again at the end, as I got into teaching mode, parts said “against the rules! Stop teaching, stay curious”. And I responded “It feels right, and we don’t have to explain it to anyone.”

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🔸 Blue is the story about men. The warmth of the sun: steady, not slow.

🔹 Parts:

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🔸 Ground, feet, legs, night sky.

📌 Charlotte Followed up:
Found some earth teeming with bugs: pic
I am HIGH
Holy smokes
That was as usual kind of surreal - but instead of being kinda relaxed and dreamy I feel plain old happy
Thank you 🙏

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Figure out what I did to get in this space today. I’m fasting again… Should I just fully embrace ascetic life? This is when I'm not reacting to food I guess. Huh.

Update Dec ‘23: It was, and is solved (for good?!) Thanks, LiveIFS

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🔸 Who can hold suicide, panic, pathetic, self-harm & the little girl in the big room?

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I mighta been too pushy re “holding the punisher”. Maybe I wasn’t listening well enough during such an important part of the process. She said arms length and closer, so I assumed it wasn’t too much of a leap. At least useful data, very important experiment.

Overall I think my confidence is warranted, I do see “giftedness” in Sienna’s awareness, soing to so many hard places/parts but with such clarity and her own direction.

I fucked up when she said “feeling pathetic” (exile I assume) and I targeted “this is pathetic” (protector). But I would have wanted to go there first anyway.
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🔸  Impulsivity & Guilt. Making good decisions requires a number of things.

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Sick day + 20mins of tech problems set us back. Still my favorite thing.

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🔸 Hot date danger zone. Keep it together!

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Playing lifeguard more than co-driver today. It’s “easier”, and I think affordable due to how much of Mio’s self was present. Maybe helped by how early we addressed the story teller?

I didn’t feel great about my (lack of) response to her parts’ request of me. Just nodded and said “yeah I want that too”. Id like to find a stronger way to communicate my understanding and intention.

And holy manifestation! In #315 Mio said “but I want love for me”...

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🔸 1️⃣ A fawn down in a flood zone.
2️⃣ The 9 year old has a name.

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

1️⃣ Before the call Clare updated me about a recent major emotional event, and sadness around that. I think that might explain some of the pace/depth here. I felt like I was not very facilitative around that, and a little too “stick to the script” early on. But that’s my protocol when in doubt. My presence was weak; I too had an emotionally draining past day.

But on the bright side, I think this is still powerful work. Sometimes you show up at the gym with your workout buddy, both "feeling off”, but still put in the time, still reap the rewards. A new part/name in the book, a new outlook for 4 parts, and a plan to keep connecting? We’re in the right place, heading in the right direction.

2️⃣ I can feel my abilities being stretched. The way Clare navigates and communicates is *just* different enough. She isn’t an IFS geek like some of us, so there’s a kind of freshness to our work, no “I know the textbook answer” parts interfering.

I wasn’t so warm, and I wasn’t so curious. Same with call before, I have dot-connecting parts up. Not so much laying down track for intense energies, more like tossing lillypads. Or flower petals. Some sink, some she skips along on. But we don't go in straight lines.

Feels safe though. One needn't be an IFS devotee to have a bright shining Self devoted to parts.

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