Live IFS

By Internal Family Systems SessionsHealth & Fitness Mental Health

Live IFS episodes

May 12, 2024382: Genie A. revisits
🔸 My dad was a good gardener…
🔹 Parts:
P: Shit, might have to go somewhere I've been avoiding

P: Until you do this, you’re just pissing around the edges

P: “He wasn’t doing anything to me”. I was the problem.

P: Self-like part thinks I'm under 10. Needs the proof

E: Shock and hugeness. Frustration. Not being understood, heard, seen.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I’m doing too much analyzing, making too many comments without purpose or intention.

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1 hr 26 min
May 10, 2024381: ⏫️ Mio A. revisits
🔸 The cost of youthfulness; making sense of “You’re ugly”
2️⃣ The precious house, where the little girl was almost strangled to death.
🔹 Parts:
P Everything is my fault, im a monster, im selfish.

P Afraid of change, the new relationship, having someone say he loves me

P ”I'm able to make somebody feel good??” Afraid I will soar too high

P/E? I’ll go under if someone leaves (and if i'm not ugly).

E knotted up, fear stricken, awaiting ultimate punishment. Nothing stays, nothing to hold on to, everything leaves. Maybe 5-8
2️⃣
Ice cold exclusion, utter despair and pain

Panic: “if he sees behind the mask, sees how ugly I am, then he will leave me too”

E: 6, 7, 8 - grandma disappearing is all my fault. Taking on gaurdian's shame. Have to put on a mask to show the world What a good granddaughter I am, Grandad and mom never talked to me about it. Nasty kettle. Bottomless guilt. Mom will do anything to tame that strong will. Wants a desert, place without walls, nothing hard, without judgement, can sink into sand.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Don’t know. Maybe not much. Felt bad ending the call where we did but it didn’t seem too disruptive. Not sure how to handle when a part says “don’t leave” and I'm like “ok time to go”. I’ll try to get Mio in again soon, but I'm also curious how she handles it on her own.
2️⃣
Kept my foot on the gas the whole time; not stopping to check with every protector. Felt right.

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2 hr 24 min
May 08, 2024380: Theresa A. revisits
🔸 Getting to matter
🔹 Parts:
P: Realist, tired of the rollercoaster

P: Enthusiasm & Inspiration

P: We've done this before

E: Dismissible. Gymnast. Just wanted her mom to care. Not allowed to have reaction to being told no.

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1 hr 20 min
May 04, 2024379: ⏫️ Olivia A. revisits
🔸 1️⃣ Beyond committed. The art and science of figuring out your entire self
2️⃣ Deep down bad parts. It’s crazy the way kids are treated.
📌 1️⃣ Olivia Followed up: i will say-- i actually wish i talked more about this on the pod but the mdma aftermath isn't always a treat, there are actually some big feelings of turmoil afterwards, you kind of feel like your life is a mess for a couple weeks because stuff is hitting you. i felt that way and my friend also felt that way... but the ensuing clarity and breakthroughs are worth it
it's like you're ripped open a bit and then enable to heal
though the healing still requires a good amount of work or at least it did in my case, i found it hard to even do my job for a week, and i was constantly feeling like, how do i figure out this maze of feels?!
james:  Ive not experienced that negative side, but maybe I had less I was needing (or willing) to heal
Olivia:  i'm definitely willing to believe it's different for everyone
my friend for instance, i dont think she would even say she did a lot of work to get to her breakthrough
she was just a mess for 2 weeks and then had kind of a sudden realization
🔹 Parts:
P: holds tension, clenching chest, hanging on to sense of dread. Needs manager not rush on to new shiney

P: manager “if I don’t watch this how will I learn” a person glued to the screen

P: tape playing, carrying the memories. I love my memories!

P: managers are bad! Read the IFS book!
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
1️⃣ Do differently? No; whatever got me here, to this place, with this person, makes me glad I did everything the way did.
Cynical part's answer: quit Live IFS, start Live MDMA.
2️⃣ It’s been 2+ weeks of high stress / high stakes stuff for me. I've been increasingly concerned about the effects on my health, multiple ailments reappearing. Today was *my* do whatever day, finally vacation day. I just lounged around, fed the crows, stretched a lot, ate what & when I wanted, skipped exercise (and that ~hour of call prep I normally do). So this was fitting.
When I start getting sick, my “figure it out” part takes over, researching like mad, making a project out of it, documenting everything, reviewing old notes. But lately I've been working with it more, taking it seriously, and allowing that process to complete. Then I actually arrive at “I've read enough, made enough todos and appts, time for that part to rest. Let's try calm, space, and see what intuition (now more informed) brings.

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2 hr 8 min
April 25, 2024378: Christine A. revisits
🔸 What are the consequences of being vulnerable? Of trusting men? An experiment.
🔹 Parts:
Ps: Put it all out there v. hold back

E: 14 responsible, get a job, romantic partners

E: love and acceptance from male role models
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Do differently: prepare better for midday calls, I'm often a little slow out of the gate. Grateful for Christine's leadership, which refocused the session multiple times.

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1 hr 48 min
April 23, 2024377: Justine A. revisits
🔸 Doing it wrong and the real fear chat with James.
🔹 Parts:
P: Judgement about watching tv, should be more noble and spiritual. Puts a bow on it, labeling it. Too much content. Stuff going on at 3 is a boring old story. Frustrated others can’t read my mind. Where do i fit in? (Same burden as exiles)

P: “You’re not real and you don’t belong” (same as above?)

P: fear of above, of it taking over. Just needs the physical needs met, tuck in at night.

E: 7 yo protected by p1

E: 5 yo unseen
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Day 4 of deep relaxation, a personal vacation, have been doing lots of my own parts work. I'd like to do more to maintain continuity; "doing it wrong" gives us these glimpses, and when they're share with me (not Justine-Self), I should take more responsibility for following up.

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1 hr 22 min
April 21, 2024 375: Pro: Alethea Hanna with Alex
🔸 Alethea Hanna is a trauma recovery coach with IFS Level II training. She is passionate about the IFS model and looks forward to the day when everyone can regularly experience the relief of looking at and listening to their parts with love.
She can be reached at [email protected]

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1 hr 7 min
April 19, 2024374: Onyx A. revisits
🔸 Overwhelmed puzzler, a problem I'm not in the middle of.
🔹 Parts:
Walking in a pool of grief

Crying when thinking about being held

The clouds, don’t know, not sure, can’t place things, feel lost

Overwhelmed, about parts, work, about life. You don’t understand how complex that is.

Sad about the overwhelmed

Puzzler Figure it out

Pusher
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I can’t explain every decision made in targeting. We can move quickly, I want to keep looking out for it being too quick.
----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: ⁠Feedback Form⁠ 😀Come chat with us: ⁠Discord⁠ 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ⁠Itunes⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠ ⁠How to leave a review - iPhone⁠
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1 hr 21 min
April 15, 2024373: Genie A. revisits
🔸 A floating freight train
🔹 Parts:
Bullshit detector

Freight train of sadness

Get a compliment then fall apart
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I coulda been a little quicker on the draw. Kinda feel that way about all my calls. But. I have time. I rarely regret taking it

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1 hr 24 min
April 13, 2024372: Mio A. revisits
🔸 Hot date heartache. Making it safe to want.

🔹 Parts:
P: the deep well. Feeling left out, parts that are hurt. i’m not acceptable, there’s something wrong with me, im ugly, old, unlovable. longing to be loved and recognized but asking for it will bring ridicule

P: scared, hopeless, it will swallow me up. The want is too big.

P: judge. who do you think you are, you want too much. Judging the anger of:

E: (same as first?) angry 2 year old hitting her sister. felt robbed, little sister sucked up all the oxygen. Needs told she’s adorable and lovable and amazing! Wants to be held and also let go. I have to be angry cuz if not, I will die. Cut the cords to the surveillance apparatus.

P: angry, being punished by God

E: 6-7 yo experience the loss. angry. Everything I do is wrong! Am I really this monster? Shunted away
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
Faster targeting. I know I sound off, a little short. Not feeling tip-top today. And parts increasingly frustrated w my yielding to story-telling. Maybe we should start charging by the hour. Joke. But I imagine the constraint of a 1-hour time limit used by most professionals has its upsides. “Yes you could tell me a story… and now we have 48 minutes to do the work…” I'm not complaining from a “waste my time” part, that’s not it. More like “I could serve better if I had some policy here”.

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1 hr 29 min