What does it actually look like to choose your family? Not just love them, but live with them, day in and day out, across generations and cultures? In this kōrero, Petra sits down with All Black legend Sir John Kirwan and his daughter – volleyball player, business owner and young mum – Francesca for a warm, wide-ranging conversation. They talk intergenerational living, the Italian way of life, and what it means to build a family that stays.

Francesca grew up between Auckland, Japan and Treviso, speaking Italian at home, saying goodbye to one set of grandparents to see the other, and learning early how belonging can exist in more than one place. While living in New Zealand with her husband Luca and their baby son Carlo, under the same roof as John and Fiorella, they embraced intergenerational community – and she wouldn't have it any other way.

John opens up about the things he got wrong as a young father, the months away, the career-first years, and the profound gratitude he has for the grandparents who stepped in when he couldn't be there. He talks about the role sport played in building resilience in his children, why compromise is the non-negotiable foundation of communal living, and what his own father said to him in a hospital room that changed everything.

We also get into John's six pillars for mental health and wellbeing in the second half of life, from managing your energy and ‘habit stacking’ to understanding what your brain actually needs, as well as his new community, Second Half.

This is a conversation about the slow, generous work of living alongside the people you love most - it's about the big picture.

Support the show: greyareas.nz/support

Song credit: Korimako, Performed by Aro, Written by Emily Looker and Charles Looker and published by Songbroker.

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