LOVERS by Shan

In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better!

Here are the 10 types of soulmates.

The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name.

The black hole Soul Mate -  the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience)

The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa)

The Only If They… Soul Mate

The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over

The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else

The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears.

The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love

The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with)

The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality.

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

Babbel!

Http://www.babbel.com/lovers

Bumble: Download the Bumble app today for free!

Hello Fresh!
Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers



Follow Shan:
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? How do you navigate re-orienting or re-navigating your sexual orientation after a queer experience? 

That is exactly what we are breaking down in this episode. Our starring guest is singer, songwriter Kiana Lede. 

Kiana is an Arizona born actress, singer and songwriter who burst into the scene with her Youtube series dubbed “Soulfood Sessions”. Her cover of Hotline bling went viral in 2016. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77MenaZJrNw

Since then Kiana has released 2 Studio EPs, over a dozen singles, and a 17 track debut album which debuted at #30 on the Billboard 200 in 2020. Her music has featured artists like Offset, Ari Lennox and BLACK. 

Her music has a way of laying out sexual exploration and liberation, 
Her latest project, a mixtape titled “unfinished” pays tribute to her late friend Azuma.

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. 

http://www.Bumble.com or Download the Bumble App

Http://www.BetterHelp.com/Lovers

Http://www.zocdoc.com



Follow Shan: 
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]


Follow Kiana: 
https://www.youtube.com/@KianaLede
https://www.instagram.com/kianalede/?hl=en

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Celibacy, abstinence, sex strike, sexlessness, dry spell ….call it what you may but we can all agree is challenging. 

This week we are joined by Stephan Speaks- one of the most popular voices in the relationship education space. Stephan has devoted himself to a life of celibacy on more than one occasion: first run with the intention to connect with God, second to connect with his God-given purpose and now he finds himself conflicted between looking for the clarity that celibacy seemed to give him before and longing for the intimacy he desires as a healthy, single, eligible bachelor. 

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Dipsea!
Whether you want to energize your sex life for yourself, a lover or so you can channel that energy elsewhere, try tuning into Dipsea because listeners of Lovers and Friends, get a 30 day free trial!

Go to http://DipseaStories.com/LOVERS

Links to episode clips that were featured in this episode.

Glo Atanmo:
https://youtu.be/lbIaM09t0ZU

Tanarelle:
https://youtu.be/FcKrnF2OpS4

Rachel Lindsay:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnEORZJD2pQ&t=354s

Sex Strike:
http://youtu.be/71ZgcVtMq84


Follow Shan: 
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Follow Stephan Speaks:
http://instagram.com/stephanspeaks
https://www.stephanspeaks.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPBO9gLGy8ujsJ7xjARI7ow

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On your journey to find and keep love (if this is your wish) have you ever felt like maybe you are meant to stay single forever?

That is how this week’s guest, Glo Atanmo aka Glo Graphics on IG felt throughout most of her life. She was used to not being any man's first choice only to later date 12 quality men at once. Then in 2022, she embarked on her pursuit of finding her forever love.  She is now openly sharing her love story with her millions of followers online. 

In this episode, she breaks down what the journey looked like and how she pursued an intentional dating season that led her to her lover.

Research article by Lachlan Brown for HackSpirit called “I can’t find love”. - 20 things to remember if you feel this is you”. 

1. You’re not really looking
2. You’re list of wants in a partner is too long
3. You’re in the wrong place
4. You believe too much in soul mates and destiny
5. You’re still not over your ex (intimate idealization)
6. You don’t know what people want from you/ you don’t want to give it
7. You have unresolved childhood issues
8. You feel like you unconditionally deserve love
9. You try way too hard
10. You’re not being your true self
11. You don’t know how to play the game
12. You take dating for granted (entitlement issues)
13. You sabotage relationships

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. 

ZocDOC: 
Go to https://zocdoc.com/lovers and download the  Zocdoc app for FREE. 

Babbel: 
Get up to 55% off your subscription by going to https://babbel.com/LOVERS

Magic Spoon: 
Get 5$ off your order by going to https://magicspoon.com/LOVERS

Follow Shan: 
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Follow Glo: 
http://instagram.com/glographics

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are drinking games for lovers or losers? Does alcohol make sex better and wetter or dryer and dimmer? 

A study by Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh found that 75 per cent of women said they liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend. In this episode we ask those in the 75 per cent to examine if this is a powerful or limiting decision.

Many share that alcohol makes them feel confident, flirty and powerful, but also less aware, less excited and more prone to regrettable decisions. 

My guest on this episode, ‘Drinking Games’ Author,  Sarah Levy once described being drunk on dates as a mandatory activity that made her feel like she had warm honey in her veins. Now, she is 5 years sober and ready to tell the world why. 

In this episode, I am also joined by licensed therapist Erica Lubetkin who specializes in anxiety and addiction. Erica breaks down how alcohol can momentarily spike dopamine in your system, but the lasting effects are not so good. 

This podcast is intended to spark hard-to-have conversations in your romantic and sexual life that lead to powerful shifts. I genuinely believe this episode delivers on that promise because we are talking about some powerful shit - alcohol. 

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Better Help! 
Visit http://Betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month. 
http://Betterhelp.com/LOVERS

Follow Shan: 
http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]


Follow Sarah: 
https://www.instagram.com/sarahllevy
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahllevy
https://www.sarahllevy.com/

Follow Erica: 
https://ericalubetkin.com/
https://www.instagram.com/erica.lubetkin

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week's question is : What does it mean to be safe in a relationship? Safety in a relationship looks different for everyone. 

Our starring guest this week Nick Viall and I talked about a lot, but underneath it, I think this is the core of it… 1) How love hasn’t been safe in the past and 2) how he’s redefining safety within in his new relationship: one that has external threats in the form of public opinion because that’s what fortunately unfortunately happens when two people attempt to share one life"

And now Nick is redefining what safety in a relationship means to him. Which leads to asking you “What does romantic safety mean to you?” “Any aha moments after listening to this episode?”


Follow Shan: 

http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Follow Nick: 
https://www.instagram.com/nickviall/reels/?hl=en
https://www.youtube.com/@viallfiles/videos

Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more. 

Download the ZocDoc app for free. 
https://www.zocdoc.com/LOVERS

For 10% off during your first 3 months with Ritual, go to 
https://www.ritual.com/LOVERS
For 55% off your Babble subscription.
https://www.babble.com/lovers

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who did you become last year? What is something you could not do last year that you want to be able to do by year's end? Shan Boodram shares how 2022 - the most transformative, miserable, lucrative and full year of her life - is grounding her 2023 with these twenty questions in mind.

1. Who did you become?
   
   

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

What is one change you made that improved the quality of your life?

What was an unexpected obstacle?

What  can you give yourself credit for this year?

Were you dishonest with yourself or others last year?

What’s your most memorable story

What were the best books you read this year?

Who poured into you this year, who do you want to thank?

What’s something you couldn’t do a year ago that you can do today?

What’s something you want to be able to say you can do a year from now that you can’t do yet?

What promise do you keep breaking to yourself?

What promise will you make to yourself this year?

What was the most enjoyable part of your work?

What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

 What one word or intention do you hope will define your 2023?

What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

 What would you do this next year if you knew you could not fail?

Thank you to our sponsor Hello Fresh!

There is a reason why Hello Fresh is America’s #1 Meal Kit and you can find out for yourself with this incredible offer! 

Go to http://HelloFresh.com/lovers21 and use code lovers21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping! 

One more time, incase you need that to sink in... 

That is http://HelloFresh.com/lovers21 use code lovers21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when you combine love, sex, magic and best friends? In this episode Shan sits down with Erica and Milah, hosts of Good Moms, Bad Choices and together they unravel the goddess experience. What does that look like? How did it happen and most of all…. did it bring them closer as best friends?

This episode touches on the importance of platonic intimacy and how through bearing it all with your bestie: the real, the rare, the repulsive and the riveting - can actually make for a natural progression to experiencing and enhancing each other sexually in a VERY explicit, but still VERY plutonic way. This is an episode about how our friends can play an incredibly enriching role in our sex lives and moreover in other creative facets of our being. 

Follow Our Guests Erica and Milah: 
http://instagram.com/goodmoms_badchoices
https://www.goodmomsbadchoices.com/

Follow Matilda Carrol:
https://www.instagram.com/iammatildacarroll

Follow Shan: 

http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more. 

Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance
No medical exams and no health questionnaire required. 

Just go to the website for a free quote.
http://GerberLifeFamily.com

StoryWorth:
Get $10 off of your first purchase at StoryWorth and give the gift they’ll be talking about for years
Http://Storyworth.com/lovers


Lumi Labs: Microdose
http://Microdose.com
Use code: LOVERS 

Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code LOVERS to get free shipping & 30% off your first order. 

Manscaped:

http://www.manscaped.com
Use code: LOVERS

Get free shipping and 20% off by going to manscaped.com and using LOVERS at checkout .

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Singer, songwriter Jessie Reyes candidly opens up about how on her quest for love, she recently played the role of the “bad guy”. For many, especially women, this is something that can be very hard to admit. 
Jessie Reyez reflects on how she f***** up, how she tried to right her wrong, how she coped when her apology to her ex wasn’t enough, and what insight she gained from this experience. 

Jessie Reyez is a Toronto born singer and songwriter who burst into the scene in 2016 with her platinum single Figures. In 2020, Jessie received her first Grammy nomination for Urban Contemporary Album. 

She is admired internationally and has amassed millions of followers and is currently embarking on a national sold out tour. Jessie has collaborated with artists like Eminem, 6lack, and Kehlani. She has also written songs for Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa and Normani. Her new album Yessie, is out NOW.

Follow Jessie: 
http://instgram.com/jessiereyez/
https://www.youtube.com/@JessieReyez
https://jessiereyez.com/
https://open.spotify.com/artist/3KedxarmBCyFBevnqQHy3P


Follow Shan: 

http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more. 

Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance
No medical exams and no health questionnaire required. 

Just go to the website for a free quote.
http://GerberLifeFamily.com


Hello Fresh 
http://www/hellofresh.com/
Use code LOVERS18 at checkout!
Go to http://HelloFresh.com/lovers18 and use code lovers18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping! There is reason why it is America’s #1 Meal Kit so give it a try for yourself. 


Lumi Labs: Microdose
http://Microdose.com
Use code: LOVERS 

Microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code LOVERS to get free shipping & 30% off your first order. 

Manscaped:

http://www.manscaped.com
Use code: LOVERS

Get free shipping and 20% off by going to manscaped.com and using LOVERS at checkout .

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Steelo Brim shares how the culture of toxic masculinity where men are encouraged not to go deep with themselves, almost destroyed his chances at real love both with himself and with women. He also talks about how he and his longtime girlfriend alahna jade chose to break out of the monogamy-one-size-fits-all box in order to create a healthy relationship on their terms and Steelo shares why his last relationship with fiance Conna Walker did not work. 

Sterling Brim better known as Steelo is a comedian, podcast host, actor, TV host, producer and musician. You may recognize him from hosting MTV’s show titled Ridiculousness. 

Steelo is a host on his weekly podcast called “Wine and Weed” where he and his co host- unpack current events and pop culture.

Steelo unpacks what he needed to let go of and lean into in order to create the love he needed in his life.

Follow Steelo

http://instagram.com/SteeloBrim 
http://youtube.com/@wineandweed


Follow Shan 

http://instagram.com/shanboody
http://tiktok.com/shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Please help us in showing love to our incredible sponsors by clicking these links to learn more. 

Gerber Life Guaranteed Life Insurance
No medical exams and no health questionnaire required. 

Just go to the website for a free quote.
http://GerberLifeFamily.com

BetterHelp
As the world’s largest therapy service, BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online. 

Save 10% off your first month at 
http://BetterHelp.com/lovers. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices