Make It a Great One with Dr. Dan: #1 Podcast for Inspiring Conversations to Live and Lead On Purpose

Today Dr. Dan welcomes author Bethany Saltman to discuss her new book STRANGE SITUATION: A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment.  Her fascinating discussion with Dr. Dan about parenting, attachment, love, and the current pandemic is riveting and revealing.

In her 2016 New York Magazine feature that went viral, writer Bethany Saltman asked: “Can Attachment Theory Explain All Our Relationships?”.  She wrote about how surprised she was by her anger and frustration as a new mother, and her desire to find out what attachment (or a lack of secure attachment) might have to do with it all, ultimately discovering that attachment isn’t a checklist of behaviors developed by physical closeness but the product of secure relationships from one’s own past. While attachment science describes how we relate to others, it also shows us how truly entwined the success of our relationships is with our deepest sense of who we are. 

Bethany’s book STRANGE SITUATION grew out of this article;  the book is a memoir hinging on science, biography, psychology and spiritual practice, and an indirect look at parenting, and how we are all interconnected by the feelings of attachment, but not by what experts and others typically suggest, or by co-sleeping or  baby slings but instead. 

Dr. Dan and Bethany unravel what attachment is and how it happens. The good news:  the actual science of attachment makes it clear: every single one of us is attached, though some more securely than others. Dr. Dan and Bethany agree that who we are -- and our own self-awareness -- is enough for attachment.  

 “At the heart of the attachment system is a primitive kind of call and response that keeps the species alive.” And that’s what we all do—keep our kids alive, even those of us who work outside the home and supplement with formula.  Bethany’s book shifts paradigms by demonstrating that from an attachment point of view, self-awareness is other-awareness. Self-care is childcare and therefore we’re all attachment parents. There’s no other kind.

Dr. Dan and Bethany also explain and explore:

Being “Attachment Aware”

Shame and Guilt

Self-Care

Adult Attachment 

Experts (Mary Aisnworth)

Myths (Dr. Sears)

Delight as the “North Star”

Bethany’s Parent Footprint Moment

In addition to being an author, Bethany Saltman is also an award-winning editor, mindfulness mentor, and researcher. Her work has appeared in magazines including the New Yorker, New York Magazine, Atlantic Monthly, Parents, and many others. Bethany graduated from Antioch College where she was one of the architects of the nation’s first Affirmative Consent Policy. She went on to receive her M.F.A in poetry from Brooklyn College, where she studied with Allen Ginsberg. A longtime Zen student, Bethany is devoted to the fine art and game-changing effects of paying attention. She lives in a small town in the Catskills with her family.

For more information:  visit https://www.bethanysaltman.com/

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Dr. Dan welcomes back his colleague and friend Debbie Reber, founder of TILT Parenting and host of the TILT Parenting Podcast (which just hit two million downloads!).  Debbie created TILT to support parents raising “differently-wired” kids and her work has shifted the conversation around how neurodiversity is perceived and experienced in the world.  She emphasises parenting with joy and acceptance for all children.  Her book Differently Wired was recently released in paperback.

Today Dr. Dan and Debbie talk about their own intimate and personal stories about raising their differently wired kids. The episode includes advice about navigating the stages of a diagnosis from a “fix it stage” mindset to frustration and fear and finally to reframing and acting -- and ultimately shifting to what will work for your individual child.

Debbie explains why her favorite quote (“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”) can successfully lead parents and families to a successful future.  This episode is one parents will return to again and again.

The enlightening interview ends with Debbie’s Parent Footprint moment about ange, which will resonate with many listeners.

Debbie Reber is the New York Times bestselling author of Differently Wired, podcast host, life coach, and speaker.  Before creating Tilt, she spent over ten years writing inspiring books for women and teens and speaking about issues including media literacy, self-esteem, and confidence.  In 2016 when she founded TiLT Parenting, a website, top parenting podcast, and social media community for parents like her who are raising differently-wired children.  Debbie Reber lives with her son and husband in the Netherlands. For more information visit  www.tiltparenting.com.  

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Dr. Dan welcomes bestselling author and parent Laura Zigman to discuss her new novel SEPARATION ANXIETY as well as her popular essays in publications including The New York Times, Parade, and The Washington Post. among others.

Recently, SEPARATION ANXIETY was named a “Most Anticipated Winter 2020 Book” by Good Morning America, Entertainment Weekly, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, Real Simple, Parade, BuzzFeed, and The Millions.

Laura Zigman is also the author of Animal Husbandry (which was later made into the movie Someone Like You, starring Hugh Jackman and Ashley Judd), Dating Big Bird, Piece of Work, and Her.  Laura’s fiction always draws on her own personal experiences as a parent, daughter, wife, writer, and friend.  Her books and essays resonate with readers everywhere because of her honesty and her poignant observations about life and family.

Today Dr. Dan and Laura discuss several timely topics including: 

Laura’s recent essay in Parade magazine “Your Child's 'Firsts' Are Special, So Why Are We Focusing on the 'Lasts'?”

Sandwich generation issues of care-taking for older parents and raising your own children 

How our own experiences as a child influence our parenting 

Dealing with life’s challenges - the death of our parents, illness, job loss, addiction, more

The ability to embrace our personal journey as our “story” unfolds -- even its unexpected twists and turns

Shame: stop self-shaming (and shaming others); fight shame!

Laura’s Parent Footprint Moment about hope is deeply honest and heart-breaking -- and ultimately inspiring.

Laura Zigman lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with her husband, son, and deeply human Sheltie.  For more information about Laura’s books and her other writing please visit:  https://www.laurazigman.com/

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Just in time for Mother’s Day and recorded during the COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Dan interviews health journalist and author Amy Klein about her new book THE TRYING GAME: Get Through Fertility Treatment and Get Pregnant Without Losing Your Mind.

Amy Klein wrote the “Fertility Diary” column for The New York Times’s Motherlode blog for three years. Her former NYTimes editor KJ Dell’Antonia recently wrote, “Amy Klein’s writing on fertility is candid, warm, and honest. She pulls no punches, and the result isn’t just informative—it’s empowering. If you’re struggling to create the family you imagined, Amy’s is the voice you want in your head, and your heart.” 

Today, Amy writes frequently about health and fertility for publications such as Newsweek, Slate, The Washington Post, and other national media.

When Amy Klein wrote THE TRYING GAME, she never dreamed it would be published during a pandemic.  Now more than ever, Amy’s personal story as well as her advice about struggling with infertility and the challenges of treatment will hopefully change the conversation about infertility in 2020 and move it forward.

Today’s episode opens with Amy sharing how she finally became a mother after nine rounds of IVF, four miscarriages, three acupuncturists, two rabbis and one reproductive immunologist. Amy wrote THE TRYING GAME because it is the book she wishes she’d had when she was trying (and trying and trying) to get and stay pregnant.

Every year “National Infertility Awareness Week” shines a light on the many individuals and couples struggling with infertility.  As Amy’s book reveals every single story is emotional, even harrowing.  During today’s episode, Dr. Dan and Amy Klein discuss relevant topics and explore key chapters from THE TRYING GAME including:

Why young women need to take control of their fertility early

How do I deal with Mother’s Day envy?

Baby jealousy - it’s a real thing online and in real life

How to talk to other people with infertility

Keeping your marriage intact during infertility

The importance of accepting your all of feelings - this is hard

What motherhood is like after infertility and miscarriage

Amy shares a very honest and personal Parent Footprint Moment at the end of the show about being a daughter and a mother.  It will inspire listeners today and on Mother’s Day.

Empowering, compassionate, and down-to-earth, The Trying Game: Get Through Fertility Treatment and Get Pregnant Without Losing Your Mind shows you what to expect when you’re not expecting with heart, humor, and humanity when you need it the most. 

For more information about Amy Klein and her book visit:  http://thetryinggamebook.com/

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Dr. Dan interviews lawyer, divorce expert, and author Jacqueline Newman about her new book THE NEW RULES OF DIVORCE: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness.

Jacqueline Newman is the managing partner at the matrimonial law firm Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP in New York City. Jacqueline has appeared as an expert commentator on various television and radio shows and an expert on  NBC News, ABC News, CBS News, The New York Times, Fox Business, Woman's Day, Glamour, the New York Post, Reuters.com, Crain's New York Business, U.S. News and World Report, Business Insider, Time.com, USA Today, Yahoo Parenting, Woman's Day, CNBC.com and The Huffington Post. 

Newman’s book THE NEW RULES OF DIVORCE: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness, was recognized by Oprah Magazine as one of  "the best divorce books to help you heal during every stage of the process."  Today, with the pandemic, it is predicted that divorce in the US will be going through an unprecedented and historic transformation according to Jacqueline.

Marriages on a brink of breaking up are usually pushed over to the side of divorce when extenuating circumstances take over...some marriages will grow stronger and others will unravel. How will COVID-19 impact divorce?  According to Jacqueline, everything from child custody hearings to how legal papers are filed to ending marriages is going to change. The first statistic that we are likely to observe is the divorce rate increasing in the US as a result of stress, financial strain, and other challenges exaggerated during the pandemic.  For example, when one parent feels their ex-spouse is putting their children at risk by not adhering to shelter-in-place mandates or refusing to practice social distancing -- this will be a new challenge that could potentially change custody. 

Dr. Dan and Jacqueline discuss modern divorce including:

The roles of Dads requesting shared and equal custody

The importance of self-care for both parents during the stress of divorce

Why both parents need to keep their marriage’s intimacy problems away from children -- even adult children

There really are some benefits of divorce for children 

How to talk to kids about divorce

Jacqueline’s Parent Footprint Moment is about honesty and transparency -- and demonstrates how telling the truth about our mistakes (and owning them) is one of the most important lessons for our children.

For more information visit: https://nycdivorcelawyer.com/

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This week, Dr. Dan interviews Andrew Campanella, President of National School Choice Week, the largest public awareness effort in the U.S. focusing on opportunity in K-12 education. Recorded in real time during the COVID-19 pandemic, today’s episode will help parents and families everywhere recently thrust into educating their students at home.  

In addition to his role as President of the nation's largest celebration of education choice, Andrew is the author of The School Choice Roadmap, a workbook for parents to understand education options.  Andrew is passionate about school choice, education reform, and empowering parents. Today’s episode will enlighten parents and educators everywhere while also providing relief for the 40 million experiencing education at home during the 2020 pandemic.  

Dr. Dan and Andrew open the show with a powerful discussion about virtual and distance learning:

During the pandemic, this does not look like “normal school”  -- but Andrew reminds us that our students are learning, are great with technology, and yes our kids can still thrive during this challenging time. Parents and educators can embrace the new schooling and lean in to this dramatic change with confidence.

Free resources are plentiful - especially right now - for parents, educators, and students; everyone can seek out for instant help

ALL parents should have confidence in their educational abilities - parents really do know their students best.

Later in the episode, Dr. Dan and Andrew discuss Andrew’s new book, The School Choice Roadmap: 7 Steps to Finding the Right School for Your Child, a guidebook to help parents identify education environments that meet their children’s needs.  With the goal of informing parents of their school choice options, Andrew and the NSCW team work with more than 21,000 schools annually—along with thousands of organizations and homeschooling groups. Under Andrew’s leadership, NSCW has experienced remarkable growth, from 150 events and activities in 2011 to more than 40,000 in 2019. 

All students learn differently.  And many students need a different match for their educational needs.  The new book will teach parents how to find the right fit for their student.  Topics include:

What is “school choice”  and why do parents really need an in-depth book like this one?

How can parents find out what their educational options are?

Once a parent starts searching for schools, how do they navigate evaluating their options?

What are some of the most common misconceptions about some of the less common forms of schooling, like charters, magnets, or online?

Andrew’s Parent Footprint Moment about education, learning, and his own family is honest, refreshing, and uplifting.

Andrew Campanella regularly speaks at education and parent empowerment events nationally. His education expertise has been quoted in or featured on CNN, C-SPAN, FOX Business, FoxNews.com, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, the Houston Chronicle, the Orlando Sentinel, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, along with thousands of local and regional newspapers, radio stations, television programs, and parenting blogs. In recognition of his work, Andrew was named by PRNews magazine as the Event Marketer of the Year for 2015. Prior to joining NSCW, Andrew served in senior-level positions at the American Federation for Children and the Alliance for School Choice. He grew up in southern New Jersey, graduated from American University in Washington, DC, and lives in Florida. 

Listeners can learn more by visiting www.andrewrcamp.com and www.schoolchoiceroadmap.com

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Get ready to laugh out loud! Today Dr. Dan treats listeners to an episode filled with humor and real life parenting advice from the hilarious author, professional comic writer, and (in his own words) “amateur father” James Breakwell (best known as the Twitter phenomena @XplodingUnicorn).  A parent of four daughters, James Breakwell is the popular author of several funny parenting books including the newest How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday.  James tackles challenges ordinary challenges parents encounter in their own everyday lives and at the same time gives us all his fresh perspective and a great laugh, too.

Dr. Dan and James chat about parenting, humor, silly scenarios, pets, kids, jokes, and much more in today’s episode.  Dr. Dan has fun sharing why over one million fans follow James and his parenting adventures on Twitter.

At the end of the episode, parents will giggle like kids when they hear James talk to Dr. Dan about his Parent Footprint Moment involving his pet pigs.  Dr. Dan and James end the show with great advice - merely surviving every single day on the parenting journey is an enormous accomplishment.  

James Breakwell’s comedy went viral in April 2016 when Buzzfeed featured his kid-centric jokes in an article that quickly drew more than two million views. His jokes have been featured by USA Today, US Magazine, DailyMail.com, Metro.co.uk, Huffington Post, 9GAG, theCHIVE.com, CollegeHumor.com, and countless TV, radio, and internet outlets. James Breakwell’s articles have appeared in Reader’s Digest, The Federalist, and AskMen.  His next book Prance Like No One’s Watching will be published in spring 2020.

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Today Dr. Dan hosts his first-ever special episode to address the situation surrounding the coronavirus and how it is impacting parents and families.

Based on Dr. Dan’s essential reading Psychology Today post Parenting with Resilience in Unsettling Times: It Starts with Us, Dr. Dan offers actionable advice for all families during this challenging time.  Listeners can use these suggestions today to help calm anxious children, to limit teen social media use, and many other challenges. 

In this episode, Dr. Dan leads listeners through the steps for building inner strength right now in this moment including self-awareness, acceptance, self-care, and staying present.   In addition, Dr. Dan welcomes long-time Parent Footprint Podcast producer Laura Rossi to the episode to lead an informative Question and Answer session featuring listeners’ parenting questions about COVID-19.

The episode wraps up with Dr. Dan’s poignant Parent Footprint Moment and Dr. Dan’s trademark hope, comfort, and wisdom. 

www.drdanpeters.com

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In Episode 81, Dr. Dan and Dr. Huber tackle a tough and essential teen parenting topic: the link between social media and depression.  

Dr. John Huber is the Chairman for Mainstream Mental Health, a non-profit organization that brings lasting and positive change to the lives of individuals that suffer from mental health issues.  Dr. Huber has been a mental health professional for over twenty years (including working as a school psychologist) and has worked with children, families, teens, adults, and veterans.  He is a Clinical Forensic Psychologist, and a practitioner with privileges at two long term acute care hospitals. Dr. Huber has appeared on over three hundred top tier radio shows (NBC Radio, CBS, Fox News Radio) and thirty national television programs (ABC, NBC, Spectrum News). In addition Dr. Huber is the host of “Mainstream Mental Health Radio” which is heard nationwide and features interviews with today’s top mental health professionals.

Today’s episode is inspired by a recent study stating that "Social Media Use [is] Linked To Depression Among Teens" and that social media use plus screen time can lead to an increase in depression and anxiety among teens and adolescents. In the study, researchers measured how much time students spent in front of social media, television and computers. The data revealed the more time kids spent engrossed in digital screens, their symptoms of anxiety and depression became more severe.

 Dr. Dan talks to Dr. Huber about the study, depression among teens, teen behaviors, and how social media affects their mental health.  They focus on questions and topics including:

What are some things parents can look out for if they think their child is depressed?

What anxiety looks like vs. depression in teens that are struggling? How are they related?

How do you think that social media has changed the way people interact with each other and develop relationships with each other?  

Common red flags in teen behavior such as: isolation, decrease in eye contact, irritability, and more.

How do you think the way that information flows in social media deviates from the way it did in previous traditional societies?  And related: should you monitor your teen’s digital world? Should you limit a teen’s screen time? How can you let your teen self-regulate but also be involved?

Many people are taught to be wary of mental health labels. Dr. Huber works to reduce the stigma of “mental health” treatment. His goal is to empower the young person to make positive changes in his/her life before a crisis evolves.  In particular his work changes lives and helps our children break the stigma (and even shame) of mental health and seek treatment proving that we can all embrace each other and our differences as part of the human condition.

The show ends with Dr. Huber’s great Parent Footprint moment about his own childhood.

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Dr. Dan welcomes colleague and friend Debbie Steinberg Kuntz to today’s episode to discuss our bright and quirky kids.  Debbie is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Bright and Quirky’s mission statement is powerful:  Ease the struggle for bright and quirky kids and parents, help them self-actualize with the help of experts in the fields of mental health and education, and inspire the hope that new ideas and possibilities bring.

When Debbie started her family counseling practice a decade ago, she had no idea the area of 2e (twice-exceptional) would be her specialty. She credits her sons, now teenagers, and their unique strengths and challenges as the inspiration for her life’s work.

Early in her parenting journey, Debbie learned that her own sons were ‘2e’ or ‘twice exceptional,’ meaning they are smart and also have unique brain wiring that makes accessing those smarts at times challenging.  As she researched and found solutions for them, she started to share the learning with families in her private practice near Seattle. These kids are very bright and struggle with learning, executive function, social, emotional and/or behavioral challenges. Some have diagnoses such as ADHD, autism/Aspergers, anxiety, depression and learning disabilities like dyslexia.

In the winter of 2018, Debbie decided to try an experiment and run a 2e parenting program online. Today the Bright & Quirky Child Online Summit, attracting over 15,000 people from 95 countries featuring World-class psychologists, educators, and child development experts who share tools and insights to help bright & quirky kids thrive.  In fact, Dr. Dan is one of the featured speakers for the third annual online summit which is free if you register (click here to register).  Listeners can go to this link: https://hub.brightandquirky.com/~access/a7c5262f/

Today Debbie works with hundreds of bright-but-busy parents who work for Fortune 500 companies like Amazon, Microsoft, Google, and Starbucks, to have a happy home life and equip their kids with the habits to succeed. Since her private practice is typically full, she founded Positive Impact Family to help even more parents transform their family to become more happy, positive, and cooperative, and make a positive impact in the world.

Today’s show covers many topics and features registration information about the 2020 Bright and Quirky Summit as well as the “Idea Lab” learning community, online resources and parenting tools to help navigate:

How to meet your uniquely wired child's needs by providing the right supports

What it means to be a self-scientist

How to teach kids, educators, others to lead with strengths

Flipping the script on how we see our 2e kids

And Debbie’s Parent Footprint moment advice on the importance of being present and just showing up for our kids

For more information on Debbie’s work, the summit and more visit:

https://brightandquirky.com/summit-2020/  and https://brightandquirky.com

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