We don’t outgrow our desire for feeling seen and validated. We simply get less of that external validation because we have seemingly learned our lessons already - but that doesn’t mean we don’t all have growth to be made and behaviors to be improved upon. So why do we suddenly think when we’re a certain age - we no longer respond to positive cues?

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Encouragement, like motivation, is something that needs refreshing daily. It’s not to be dismissed as something that only kids and sports teams benefit from. We all do better with positive reinforcement, I promise. Start offering it to yourself and see how quickly things shift. 

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Human connection is so important - this is why we like to meet up with friends for drinks or family for dinners - so don’t skimp out on connecting with yourself, too. 

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 A lot of us live in an all or nothing mentality all of the time. We see things in black and white despite our conscious awareness of the fact that most of the world is gray. Each fresh breath is an opportunity to begin again. Every time you start to feel hopeless, remind yourself it’s only hopeless when you stop holding onto hope - then grab onto that hope and make it happen. Don’t guilt yourself when you fall off track, because getting off track is normal and healthy. But don’t avoid getting back on just because you needed a moment to yourself.  

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If you’re the giving type, it probably means you struggle with receiving. I encourage you to take a step back form your identity as the generous friend for a while and allow yourself to accept things as they present themselves. Be it compliments, help, or physical gifts - you are deserving and worthy of these things. 

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Be realistic with your expectations, be realistic when you set plans, be realistic when you do literally everything in order to save yourself a lifetime of drama in the future.  Getting real with yourself takes time and practice and trial and error. Don’t be afraid to try things a few times before admitting it’s not for you at this particular time in your life. And watch how much energy, time, and life frees up for you. 

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Sometimes, in the moment, we aren’t able see the bigger picture. We don’t understand why we’re met with resistance or bad luck or rejection - and years later, if we’re lucky, when we find out that it was actually a good thing all along, we will thank the people who rejected us because if not for that no, we may never have made it to where we are today. 

Sometimes we have to trust that the universe has our back just like we have the backs of our loved ones. Sometimes we have to trust that even though we don’t understand why the fuck this shit is happening to us - it’s in our best interest in the long run. 

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Take the leash off for a while. Play. Make messes. Get loud and don’t be afraid to look silly or stupid while doing so.  

Follow the fun without fear. You are wiser and more in control now, so you can safely do so in a way that feels good. Don’t forget to throw caution to the wind every once in a while in search of your inner desire to feel joy in it’s rawest form. 

Channel the inner child that wasn’t yet afraid of everything before they were taught to be terrified of joy itself. That kid wants to come out and play without fear of being reprimanded - and only you can remind them it’s safe to do so. 

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When you embody your own best parent, you become someone who knows what is best for you, wants what is best for you, does what is best for you, and helps you prepare for what is best for you. We all need that in our lives, and even the luckiest of us can’t rely on our parents for everything forever. We all have to get comfortable making the decisions for ourselves that best serves us in our best interest rather than what feels the best now - and that is what reparenting should do. 

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When I say float downstream, this is not a mindless or passive task. This is simply being mindful with the way your life is moving, making small choices to make it easier, and not resisting the path but rerouting it when you need to. 

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