Man Alive

By Shana JamesSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Philosophy Sexuality

Man Alive episodes

February 05, 2020 #128: How to Be Generous Without Losing Yourself
Many men struggle with the balance between caring for others without losing themselves – giving up their own needs and desires. Today's guest talks about creating a life of generosity and creating value for others!
39 min
January 29, 2020 #127: The Unexamined Reasons Sex and Intimacy Fade – Shana James

It is common that sex and intimacy changes after a “honeymoon period,” often decreasing in passion or consistency. There are some unexamined relationship dynamics that can surprisingly reignite sensuality. This episode lays them out for you.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/shana-intimacy-fading.mp3

Show notes:

There is a commonly accepted idea that passion, intimacy and sex inevitably fades over time.

What I see is that while sex in the beginning of a relationship is different from sex years later, it actually doesn’t have to be for the worse.

In fact, many of my clients realize in their coaching sessions that they can create a WAY more satisfying sex life than they realized. Sometimes it’s more satisfying than they ever knew it could be, even more so than the initial “HOT” sex from the beginning of their relationship.

In this solo Man Alive episode I shared a few unexamined relationship dynamics I’ve discovered over the past 15 years of coaching men that surprisingly reignite sensuality. You’ll learn…

* What makes sex hotter and more satisfying, as the years (or even decades) go on* How and when to have conversations about sex with a partner to increase the likelihood that they are well received* What women tell me they long for from, and with, men * Increasing pleasure for you and your partner by letting go of orgasm as the “end goal”* Practices that shake up your love life and deepen connection

This is a short episode, full of interesting content to help you create a hotter, more connected sensual relationship.

When you’re done with this one here’s another episode to enhance your sex life. In this episode Karen Brody and I discuss How to Transform A Sexless Relationship!

I know it’s not always easy to implement all of this. If you have questions email me at [email protected].

Links:

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

For 15 years Shana has coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers and people with big visions who step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create more effective teams, increase their impact, get promoted, find love, rekindle spark, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.

She has been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in your profession and love life. Then she creates a clear and unique path for you to have true success and incredible love.

Referred to as a secret weapon, Shana cuts through distraction and provides direct access to your confidence, power and clarity. She is also a translator between women and men, providing effective tools to transform conversations ...
27 min
January 29, 2020 #127: The Unexamined Reasons Sex and Intimacy Fade
It is common that sex and intimacy changes after a "honeymoon period," often decreasing in passion or consistency. There are some unexamined relationship dynamics that can surprisingly reignite sensuality. This episode lays them out for you.
27 min
January 14, 2020 #125: The Crisis Between Men and Women – Shana James

The divorce rate still hovers around 50% and men and women often have a hard time understanding each other. Today’s episode gives you tools to create connection and spark with women, while also navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/shanacrisis.mp3

Show notes:

While relationships can be full of joy and excitement, they are also often not easy.

Whether you’re single, or in a relationship, it can be challenging and vulnerable to talk about your fears with women.

It can be scary to ask for what you want.

It can be hard to know when to move closer and when to back away.

I’m working on my TEDx talk: What 1,000 Men’s Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women.

As I think more about this topic, it’s clear that all men (and all humans) have a wide range of feelings. Men, however, are mainly taught it’s only ok to express a few of them.

And with our culture having portrayed men’s vulnerability as weak or unattractive, many men are suffering silently and alone. Even men who look like they have it together on the outside.

Whether you experience challenges with relationships, parenting, family, health crises, or lacking meaning or joy in your life, you are not alone! Nor are you weak. It takes an incredible strength to feel your emotions as a man in this day and age.

I highly recommend attending workshops with other men so you can get support with your pain and struggles and see you’re not alone.

But many men walk out of these workshops without feeling safe, or knowing how, to be vulnerable with the women in their lives.I see a need for a cultural shift to welcome men’s vulnerability.

In my talk I ask women to step up and become a part of the solution, rather than ignoring this.

I also give some guidance for sharing vulnerability in a way that creates connection, rather than sending people running for the hills!

Keep an eye out for my talk next month. If you have questions before it comes out email me here.

Links:

For Men: 3 Ways Men Lose Influence at Work and With Women

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

For 15 years Shana has coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers and people with big visions who step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create more effective teams, increase their impact, get promoted, find love, rekindle spark, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.

She has been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in your profession and love life. Then she creates a clear and unique path for you to have true success and incredible love.

Referred to as a secret weapon,
21 min
January 14, 2020 #125: The Crisis Between Men and Women
The divorce rate still hovers around 50% and men and women often have a hard time understanding each other. Today's episode gives you tools to create connection and spark with women, while also navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise.
21 min
January 08, 2020 Moving Past Shame and Into Sexual Freedom in Your Relationship – Jordan Gray
More men struggle with Shame around sex than like to admit it. Whether physical or emotional struggles, you are not alone. AND you don’t have to settle for unsatisfying sex as a result.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/jordan-shame.mp3
You are not alone if you’ve struggled physically or emotionally with sex.
Many men tell me they gave up on having the sex they wanted, for years or decades.
They were too embarrassed to ask for help and settled for disconnected sex, overwhelming anxiety, porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, an inactive sex life and more.
But you don’t have to.
In one of our favorite Man Alive podcast episodes from last year, Jordan Gray and I have a conversation about how to move beyond blocks to having a pleasurable and connected sex life. Jordan is a relationship coach and #1 Amazon best-selling author who has been featured in the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Psychology Today and more
Show notes:
In this episode we cover:

* How to know when shame is running the show in the bedroom.
* The best ways to alleviate shame and have more pleasure and connection with a partner (and yourself!)
* The truth about your desires, no matter how kinky, vulnerable or unusual they may be
* The importance of relational healing, rather than trying to heal on your own
* How honesty can not only be sexy, but is one of your most powerful paths to hot and happy sex life

Bio:
Jordan Gray is a personal development author, and sex and relationship coach with nearly a decade of practice behind him. Jordan’s work has been featured in The Huffington Post, The New York Times, BBC, Self, Psychology Today, Business Insider, Yahoo!, Forbes, Elephant Journal, and countless other publications around the globe. Jordan has made it his life’s mission to make thriving relationships attainable to everyone.
Within two years of starting his website, Jordan had five #1 best-selling e-books on Amazon and, since launching, has reached an engaged audience of over 20 million people from around the world with his writing.
Links:

Jordan Gray Consulting
Shana James Coaching – Learn the most important skill men who are professionally successful and have a fulfilling love life use every day

48 min
January 08, 2020 S*x is a lot more pleasurable without shame
You are not alone if you've struggled physically or emotionally with sex. Many men tell me they gave up on having the sex they wanted, for years or decades.
48 min
December 31, 2019 #124: What to Do When She Says “I’m not in love with you” – Steve Horsmon

One of the worst moments of a man’s life is hearing “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Today’s podcast gives you what you need for this moment and continuing to navigate the upheaval of a relationship on the rocks or falling apart.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/falling-apart-steve.mp3

Show notes:

If you’ve ever heard the words “I love you but I’m not in love with you,” you won’t ever want to hear them again.

This horrible moment turns life upside down and can call everything you thought you knew into question.On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by Steve Horsmon, a coach for men who is an expert at helping men navigate this heart breaking situation.

In this honest conversation we talk about how men can (and need to) stop going it alone and…

* How long a woman tends to think about separating before she tells you* The path to regain confidence after she drops the bomb* The important shift to make when you ask questions to understand her side of the story* Where to go for validation and affirmation* Actively creating a relationship so you don’t have to hear those dreaded words

Steve is a man whose perspectives I respect and whose tools really work. If you’ve heard these words recently, reach out to Steve after you listen!If you’ve heard these words in the past, listen so you don’t hear them again!

I’ve watched people change in front of my eyes as I let go of what I expect their responses to be. Then I relate to them differently, usually with more honesty, compassion, curiosity and love. If you try this and have stories to share, reply to this email to let me know what happened!

Links:

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Steve Horsmon is an ex-student, ex-engineer, ex-program manager, ex-corporate educator, and an ex-husband.

He’s been a good guy his whole life. Like all good guys he worked hard, made a decent living and treated people kindly. He tried to please everyone in his path – especially the women in his life.

He always thought that was the key to success, satisfaction and happiness.

But he realized he was wrong. And what he learned he is now bringing to you by turning on the light for good guys who are struggling in their relationships with women.

Steve is confident you WILL become the man you want to be and you WILL have the life you want to have!

42 min
December 30, 2019 #124: What to Do When She Says "I'm not in love with you"
One of the worst moments of a man's life is hearing "I love you but I'm not in love with you." Today's podcast gives you what you need for this moment and continuing to navigate the upheaval of a relationship on the rocks or falling apart.
42 min
December 19, 2019 #123: How Thoughts Rob You of Happiness and Freedom – Matt Maxwell

We can unknowingly sabotage our happiness and freedom, blaming others or situations for our upset. Today’s episode reveals the underlying conditions that help you actually be happy and free.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/happiness-matt.mp3

Show notes:

On the days days you feel stuck, or less free than you wish you were, what do you attribute it to?

On the days you’re less happy than you imagine you could be, what reason do you give for that?

It can be hard to see what actually keeps us from the freedom and joy many teachers claim is at the root of our being.

We often point to a person and situation and claim that as the reason. If only that were different, we would be happier and more free.

But what if it wasn’t true? What if it’s never about someone or something else that causes us to be upset?

Try this radical thought on for size:

What if your thoughts, not people or situations, were the cause of all your suffering?

What would you do?

It’s not easy to stop thinking!

We are constantly barraged with thoughts, ideas, desires, judgments, analyses…

Some of them are useful, but many of them create pain in our lives and relationships.

Today I was joined on the Man Alive podcast by Matt Maxwell, coach, speaker and author of How to Hold a Cockroach, a book that explores the roots of human suffering!

In this powerful episode we discussed:

* The fundamental blocks to happiness and freedom — i.e. where suffering actually comes from* How your mind works and the proof it uses to confirm its negative beliefs* How stories limit your options and convince you the limitations are real* The key to knowing less while being even clearer and more grounded* What a cockroach can teach you about how happy and free you could be

These days there is nothing more interesting and powerful to me than understanding human nature — the roots of our pain and our potential for freedom and expansion.

As we head into the holidays, and family time, be gentle with yourself. See if you can witness how your thoughts alter situations.

I’ve watched people change in front of my eyes as I let go of what I expect their responses to be. Then I relate to them differently, usually with more honesty, compassion, curiosity and love. If you try this and have stories to share, reply to this email to let me know what happened!

Links:

This is Hearthstone

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Matt Maxwell is a professional coach who works with individuals and organizations to be their “highest and best” and create joyful, empowered relationships. He works with clients who sense their potential to positively transform themselves, their relationships, and the world around them,
40 min

About Man Alive

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If you're not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we'll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult