Man Alive

By Shana JamesSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Philosophy Sexuality

Man Alive episodes

December 19, 2019 #123: How Thoughts Rob You of Happiness and Freedom
We can unknowingly sabotage our happiness and freedom, blaming others or situations for our upset. Today's episode reveals the underlying conditions that help you actually be happy and free.
40 min
December 11, 2019 #122: Are You Actually Living a Meaningful Life? – Chance Taureau

At some point many of us awaken to the desire to have a more meaningful, inspiring life and leave a legacy for future generations. You can choose an overarching theme for a legacy but what if you saw each moment as an opportunity to respond to people and situations in a way that aligns with your future legacy?

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/meaningful-life-chance.mp3

Show notes:

As the end of the year nears and we get close to the darkest day of the year, it’s a good time to explore whether life feels meaningful to you.

It’s also a time to look at how well equipped you are to navigate the darker times in life.

Living a meaningful life means we have to face, not run from or avoid, struggle and pain.

The older I get, the more I find truth in the Buddha’s statement: Life is Suffering.

It’s not that we don’t have fun, fall in love, or experience pleasure, but pain, stress and dissatisfaction are part of life.

We get sick, people die, relationships end and we face many other struggles.

And life can be mundane, as we accomplish all the daily tasks needed to survive.

It has also become clear to me though, through various teachings, that we can experience pain without suffering; that each interaction is an opportunity to deepen our connection with self and others; and that living a meaningful life happens in the little moments as much as the big ones.

On today’s Man Alive Podcast I was joined by Chance Taureau, consultant, leader and trainer for The Mankind Project International. He is one of the most deep and honest human beings I’ve met. This conversation is perfect for end of year reflection.

In this powerful episode we discussed:

* How to suffer well and gain gems to make life more meaningful* The deep and honest layers of living life to the fullest* Victor Frankl’s wisdom (from surviving the Holocaust) about your power to truly make choices * Gaining clarity on what your life is really about * How to shift from reactions to responses that are in alignment with your future legacy

As you head into the holidays and start thinking about the new year, it may be time to take a deeper look at your life and choices. It doesn’t have to be a painful process. My clients will tell you it is relieving, empowering and even fun.

If you are struggling, or curious about about being more inspired and excited about your love life, career or leaving a legacy, tell me more about yourself here and we’ll schedule a time to talk.

May you experience peace and connection this holiday season!

Links:

http://taureauconsulting.com/" target="_blank">Taureau Consulting

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Chance Taureau’s private practice, as well as the other organizations he serves,
45 min
December 11, 2019 #122: Are You Actually Living a Meaningful Life?
At some point many of us awaken to the desire to have a more meaningful, inspiring life and leave a legacy for future generations. You can choose an overarching theme for a legacy but what if you saw each moment as an opportunity to respond to people and situations in a way that aligns with your future legacy?
45 min
December 05, 2019 Sexual Yoga: Performance Hacking Your Sexual Experiences, Plus Guerrilla Tantra – Jamie Wheal
What exactly is Sexual Yoga? Jamie Wheal has worked with the elite in sports, finance, tech and government. He now brings us the integration of flow states and sex!

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/SexualYoga-Jamie-Wheal.mp3
Show notes:
Have you ever thought about how FLOW states could create more connected, wildly pleasurable and even healing love-making?
If you haven’t heard much about flow states, FLOW is the academic framing for higher reaches of experience and performance.
When Jamie Wheal — co-author of the global bestseller and Pulitzer Prize nominee Stealing Fire and Executive Director at Flow Genome Project — told me he wanted our conversation to be about integrating flow states with sex, I got excited.
Jamie Wheal has helped create flow states with top athletes, CEOs and government officials. Unlocking higher levels of human performance is incomplete without intimacy and sexuality. This powerful conversation takes human potential to a whole new level!
Since he was exhausted from a long book launch, I asked if he still wanted to have our conversation. He said “Yes, as long as we talk about something I’ve never talked about before.” So you get to hear a new and fascinating conversation!
Jamie presents the possibility that we can spend less time talking about our feelings and instead enter into states of consciousness that give us clarity, the experience of connection and the ability heal and transform.
In this conversation he shares about how to bring this into the bedroom. Our discussion covers:

* The paint by number guide to integrating flow states and sex into a practice of growth and expanded consciousness
* Jamie‘s description of the Cosmic Fuck Tunnel
* Why sex after 8pm is not a good idea + other things that dull your arousal potential
* A revolutionary alternative for men rather than leaving a relationship for a younger partner or blaming another for not feeling vital or turned on
* What it takes to be mature enough to try this practice

I can’t wait to hear what you take away from this one!
While I don’t work with the physical realms of sex in coaching I do support men to step into an energetic and relational mastery that takes intimacy to a whole new level — one many people never even dream of! If you’re curious how you and your relationship could benefit from this, tell me more about yourself here and we can schedule a time to talk.
Bio:
Jamie Wheal, co-author of the global bestseller and Pulitzer Prize nominee Stealing Fire and Executive Director at Flow Genome Project, is an expert on peak performance and leadership, specializing in the neuroscience and application of Flow states. He has advised everyone from the U.S. Naval War College and Special Operations Command, the athletes of RedBull, and the owners of NFL, NBA, MLB and Premier League teams, to the executives of Google, Deloitte Cisco and Young Presidents’ Organization. He studied historical anthropology under MacArthur Fellow Patricia Nelson Limerick, specializing in utopian social movements and his work has appeared in anthologies and peer-reviewed academic journals
Links:

Flow For Couples
Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz
For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a ni...
53 min
December 04, 2019 Sexual Yoga: Performance Hacking Your Sexual Experiences, Plus Guerrilla Tantra
What exactly is Sexual Yoga? Jamie Wheal has worked with the elite in sports, finance, tech and government. He now brings us the integration of flow states and sex!
54 min
November 20, 2019 #121: What to Do With Your Tears – Shaun Galanos

If you’re like many men, you hold back or hide your tears. But doing so can make you feel flat, deadened and disconnected. In today’s episode, Shaun Galanos and I discuss why it benefits you to cry and how it can become safe for you to do so.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/Crying-ShaunG.mp3

Show notes

I have an odd but important question.

What do you do with your tears?

Do you avoid them?Wipe them away?Hide them?Pretend you have allergies?

Are you aware that tears can flow through you or have you not cried in so long that you’re not sure?

Or maybe, you do allow your tears to flow?!

If you do, do you cry by yourself or do you also feel safe to cry with others?

I ask because your willingness to cry with others can be a great litmus test for how free you feel to be raw and honest with others.

And I’d actually love to know! (If you’re willing, please respond to this email and let me know what you do with your tears!)

Crying is of course not the only way to be emotionally vulnerable or close with others but if you’re not letting tears flow, there’s likely a part of you that is hidden or untapped, to yourself and others.

Today’s Man Alive podcast episode was a joint episode with Shaun Galanos of the Love Drive Podcast. His podcast is about helping people develop the emotional intimacy required to have loving and connected relationships.

We have a lot of similar views about relationships and some different ways of illuminating the same topics. I appreciate his laid back style and his willingness to be vulnerable.

In this conversation we discussed:

* Our initial personal reactions to men’s tears and what it has taken to learn to welcome them* The benefits of crying with a romantic partner * What women find scary about men’s vulnerability and how to ease their fears * How you can become a safe person to cry with* Why this world will benefit from more men who allow and share their tears

I’m very interested in this topic and how to create the cultural changes necessary to welcome and accept men’s vulnerability.

As I work on a TEDx talk, that I now know I’m going to give in January next year (Entitled: What 1,000 Men’s Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women), I welcome hearing about your experience of crying and being vulnerable with others, especially with women!

Have women welcomed your vulnerability or have you felt the need to hide it? How much do you open up with others? What would you like me to know about your experiences with tears and raw truth?

Links:

https://thelovedrive.com/" target="_blank">The Love Drive

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Shaun Galanos is a certified love coach and host of The Love Drive podcast...
1 hr 6 min
November 20, 2019 #121: What to Do With Your Tears
If you're like many men, you hold back or hide your tears. But doing so can make you feel flat, deadened and disconnected. In today's episode, Shaun Galanos and I discuss why it benefits you to cry and how it can become safe for you to do so.
1 hr 6 min
November 13, 2019 #120: To Say or Not to Say: Communication that Creates Closeness – Tony Fonderson

It’s not easy to bring up struggles, disappointments or frustrations in relationships. But have you noticed that when you don’t say anything, resentment can build while spark and trust fades? In today’s episode Tony Fonderson and I discuss how to communicate in a way that creates connection rather than breaks it.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/communication-tony.mp3

Show notes

Are there topics of conversation that you find challenging to bring up?

Do you put off having these conversations, or not have them at all?

What do you find scariest to talk about? Money? Sex? Desires? How you are treated?

Many people don’t have the tools to make these conversations go well. But that doesn’t mean the tools don’t exist!

On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by author and coach Tony Fonderson. We talked about how to communicate in a way that creates connection rather than breaks it. We give you tools to turn struggles, disappointments and frustrations into connection!

We discussed:

* How to create the safety to say what you want and ask for what you need* Where the courage to speak about challenging subjects comes from * How to take things your partner says less personally* Reorienting around beliefs and perspectives that create a lot of pain for couples* Powerful ways to notice when you’re squashing intimacy and start creating it

If you haven’t listened to the other Man Alive episode with Tony, Honest Sex, you can check it out here.

Both of these are powerful conversations about how to share your truth in a way that creates more connection and passion!

Links:

Connect with Tony Fonderson

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

Tony Fonderson is a father, friend and valued guide whose natural talent is interacting with people in ways that they get the insights they need to solve deep personal problems. The son of an African diplomat, Tony grew up in multicultural environments and by the time he was 22, he’d lived in 6 different countries, had two engineering degrees, and spoke 4 languages fluently.

Tony was first introduced to the world of personal development after walking away unscathed from a near-fatal car crash with his two-year-old daughter. Although physically unharmed, he was deeply troubled by what was revealed to him during his brush with death, and this emerged to be a pivotal moment in his life.

His cosmic wake-up call led him to embark on a 20-year quest studying how life, love and relationships work, so that the next time he faced Death he could look back on a deep, rich, and meaningful life. His journey of self-discovery led him to understand that to create powerful, intimate partnerships, you must first understand who you are, and also understand what’s really going on behind the scenes.

33 min
November 13, 2019 #120: To say or not to say: Communication that creates closeness
It's not easy to bring up struggles, disappointments or frustrations in relationships. But have you noticed that when you don't say anything, resentment can build while spark and trust fades? In today's episode Tony Fonderson and I discuss how to communicate in a way that creates connection rather than breaks it.
33 min
November 07, 2019 #119: Stop Being Defensive to Rebuild Passion and Trust – David Schlussel

One of the fastest ways to create distance and resentment in a relationship, or at work, is to defend yourself. It takes humility to stop defending yourself and it’s often incredibly hard! Today’s episode has great tips for becoming more aware and letting go of defensiveness.

http://traffic.libsyn.com/manalive/relationships-David.mp3

Show notes

There’s something we do in relationships that wreaks havoc on a connection — romantic or work.

It quickly shatters trust and makes passion fizzle!I’ll cut to the chase because it’s too important to beat around the bush…

I’m talking about defensiveness.

Defensiveness is one of the most powerful ways we stop love from growing and connection from deepening.How often do you get defensive?

If you’re honest with yourself, do you have a clear understanding of how you protect your heart, try to prove your goodness and attempt to be right?

Some defenses are blatant:My unfortunate go-to is to respond with a “Well you…” when someone tells me they don’t like something I’ve done. Then I don’t have to feel the pain of having let someone down.

Others defenses are more subtle:

I remember a relationship years ago where I told my partner I was upset about how he’d handled a situation.

He started beating himself up so badly that while it was a sort of apology, he got so lost in his own downward spiral of shame he wasn’t even with me. While he was beating himself up he was also defending against listening to me.

Defensiveness erodes trust, connection and passion. And fast!On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by coach and yoga teacher, David Schlussel, to look at how you can be less defensive and even welcome intense and emotional communication.

In this conversation we discussed:

* Some of the most common defensive reactions that amp up conflict (We suggest you stop doing these!)* The best and worst places to have your attention in the midst of a conflict* How to validate your partner’s perspective without letting someone walk all over you* A way to help your partner go from angry to relieved, which means you can then be heard* The type of apology that actually doesn’t work

The more I continue my personal and spiritual work, the more I understand that we don’t need to defend ourselves. Letting go of defenses is an act of self-love and allows us to be closer to others.

May you enjoy the journey of letting down your guard and realizing there’s nothing to prove!

Links:

Connect with Yogi Life Coach

Curious what you’d need to become a better leader and lover? Take the quiz

For Women: Modern dating doesn’t have to be a nightmare for women

Bio:

David Schlussel is a yoga teacher, life coach, husband, and father. David’s classes are a flowing celebration of our bodies, designed to exercise, educate, integrate, delight, challenge and recharge. He is known for his warm approachability, contagious curiosity, gentle and liberating hands on adjustments,
35 min

About Man Alive

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If you're not satisfied with your love or sex-life, and could use some insights into what makes women want more of you, tell me more about yourself here and we'll schedule a time to talk: shanajamescoaching.com/consult