Married After Kids

Want to know how we can better support the unique and diverse experiences of military spouses of color?

Joelle Clayborne is an advocate for mental health services, Gen Z military spouses, and military spouses of color. She is an expert in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, as well as a freelance consultant, author, content creator, and military spouse. 

For anyone wanting to bridge the gap in race, age, and diverse perceptions of the military, this episode is a must listen! From topics such as embracing our identities as military spouses, to addressing our biases, to starting conversations that support military spouses of color, you don’t want to miss this very important conversation. 

We’re exploring:

• How being a military spouse impacts Joelle’s mental health (and what helps her improve mental wellness)
• Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in the military
• What Joelle believes is massively helpful for military spouses of color 
• How to start conversations that support military spouses of color
• Joelle’s three steps to addressing race and inclusivity

• Website: https://www.joelleclayborne.com/
• Podcast: Business DEI Under 5

• Harvard Implicit Bias Test: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/user/agg/blindspot/indexrk.htm

• I'm a Black Military Spouse—Here's How Our Family Navigates Life as a Black Military Family
• Down in the Trenches…. Life as a Black Military Spouse
• BLACK HISTORY MONTH THROUGH THE EYES OF A MILITARY SPOUSE
• SPOTLIGHT ON BLACK/AFRICAN-AMERICAN MILITARY FAMILIES
• Fostering an Inclusive Community for BIPOC Spouses
• The struggles of Military Spouses of color

• Blackmilitarywives.com | Black Military Wives Instagram
• Esposas Militares Hispanas

• Does Ethnicity Affect the Coping of Military Spouses?
• Understanding Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Defense Communities
• Diversity in U.S. Military Families

• The Mocha Manual to Military Life: A Savvy Guide for Wives, Girlfriends, and Female Service Members

In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage (available now!): https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

I love research y’all. I stumbled across an 85 year Harvard study recently that blew my mind. It sent me into deep-dive research mode, and I came out of that wanting to share what I learned with you in this episode: what will make you happy, healthy, and live longer.

This episode validates what I have personally learned and experienced as a Military Psychologist and Marriage Coach. I only want to share things with you that are backed by research and apply to ALL of us, not only a handful of my clients. This is something we need to be prioritizing and talking about more with those around us. So, listen in to learn what makes the biggest difference in our happiness above anything else, so you can start implementing this in your life today.

We’re exploring:

• The #1 thing that contributes to us living happier, healthier, and longer

• What does NOT make us happier (that most of us think will)

• How our mood and experience of physical and emotional pain are impacted by relationships

• Harmful thinking that prevents couples from getting what they want

• What we need to be prioritizing over everything else for the biggest positive change in our lives

• Why this is crucial for military couples specifically

AVAILABLE NOW! In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Have you ever thought about getting support in your marriage, but thought, “our relationship isn’t THAT bad?”. Yet nothing changed, and if anything, it’s now worse? 

It’s normal to have anxiety and worry about what will happen in your marriage if you do decide to ask for help, but we were never taught how to figure out relationships all on our own. And it doesn’t have to mean anything that you are trying to improve your relationship.

Instead of wondering if your relationship is going to make it, listen to this episode to hear my answers on when to move forward with the divorce process, and when your marriage can be repaired (this often surprises people!).

We’re also exploring:

• What makes getting support in your marriage so difficult
• The scenarios when I recommend (and don’t recommend) divorce with my clients
• My take on issues like infidelity, addiction, physical or emotional abuse, and more
• What happens if neither of you are willing to have tough conversations together
• Encouragement to get support and make small shifts toward a healthier marriage

Be brave and reach out for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

NOW AVAILABLE! In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Make the ask. That’s just one piece of advice from Dr. Sharita, who is with Mission:Milspouse, an organization that empowers military spouses with resources, supporting them to conquer adversity, foster confidence, and thrive in this military life. 

Making the ask means having the courage to reach out and ask for what you need. That’s how you can improve military spouse life, and we want to encourage you to do just that. We talk about this and so much more in this episode.

We’re exploring:

• What lessons Dr. Sharita has learned in her 12 years of being married to military
• The importance of finding your tribe in new places (and advice if you don’t feel in alignment with the new people you meet)
• The difficulties of sharing our struggles as military spouses
• What Mission:Milspouse is and how it can benefit us
• How to find the resources you need when you’re not sure where to look
• What will help make military life easier for us all

Connect with Mission:Milspouse

Website: missionmilspouse.org

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missionmilspouse/

Available now! In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Wondering how to make deployments smoother? It's natural to reflect on previous deployments and wonder what you could have done better, what you could have done differently, and what strategies you can implement to make the next deployment smoother. And if you've been through it before, you know deplyment is a challenging experience. 

Today, we are diving into the five hardest parts of deployment. My aim is that this episode will validate your experience of deployment and help you prioritize where to focus your energy and attention during your next deployment to make it the best it can be. Whether you're a seasoned deployment veteran or a first-timer, these insights will help you improve your deployment experience, and support you in feeling more confident in yourself and in your relationship with your spouse.

We’re exploring:

• How loneliness impacts our life and relationships

• What to do when the stress and pressure of deployment feel like too much

• Frustrations, barriers, and challenges of communication during deployment

• The painful gap between our expectations and our reality of deployment

• How to move through not feeling like you are a cohesive team

• What to prioritize to have the biggest impact on creating a more positive deployment experience

NOW AVAILABLE! In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Can our relationship really survive time apart from each other? Managing our day-to-day life on its own can be a challenge, but also remaining connected to our spouse while they’re away…it’s tough. And THRIVING in our marriage while apart... well, is that even possible?

I absolutely hate being separated from my spouse, but we have learned how to create positive and long-lasting benefits in our relationship during these times. We have core aspects of our relationship that we focus on every time we’re away from each other that not only keep us connected, but actually strengthen our relationship. Listen in to find out how! 

We’re exploring:

• How to get laser-focused on what your needs are in the relationship

• The one trap to avoid to prevent unhappiness while your spouse is away

• What factors are impacting your relationship negatively, even though they are often out of your control

• What you can do before approaching a difficult topic with your spouse to have the best outcome possible

• The key to having a successful conversation, even when you disagree

• Tips on what you can be doing to strengthen your marriage while your spouse is away

Celebrate this 100th episode with me! Two military spouses will be selected to access my new course for FREE when you join in! Click here for the details.   

Join the waitlist for my new course (coming VERY soon!), In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Curious about the #1 issue I work on with my coaching clients? I haven’t seen anyone else talking about this publicly, and yet it is something that can make the biggest difference between flourishing in your marriage or staying stuck (and having arguments over and over again).

In this episode, I am giving you the essential tools to get what you need from your spouse in the most productive and healthy way. Tune in if you are done with the criticizing and defensiveness from your spouse, and instead desire to listen openly to each other about issues, continue having conversations together, and create greater happiness in your marriage. 

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The role of defensiveness in your marriage (and what defensiveness can lead to)

• What a “soft start-up” is and why this is crucial in any marriage to get results

• How to start difficult conversations with your spouse so they actually want to continue talking instead of getting defensive and critical

• Guidelines to follow when having these hard conversations

• What research says about the link between conflict discussions and divorce

• Specific examples of how to approach your spouse when experiencing marriage issues

Join the waitlist for my new course, In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

To be happy in your marriage, it’s incredibly important to first be happy yourself. In this episode, we demonstrate that our body health, mental health, and spiritual health, are all connected to our marriage. Listen for encouragement and ideas to incorporate healthier options into your day, even when it feels like there’s no extra time to focus on yourself.

Special guest Kristen Noriega is a registered dietician, nutritionist, military spouse, homeschooling work-from-home mom of 4, and essentially living proof that we can include good nutrition and movement even in the midst of chaos. Her goal is to empower busy moms and military spouses to feel their best NOW. 

We’re sharing:

• Kristen’s experience of trying to lose weight (and keep it off!) after having children

• The relationship between your health and your marriage

• Bite-sized health strategies to easily incorporate into your daily life

• How to maximize the hours in your day (and use pockets of time for your health)

• Tips for military spouses who want to start their health journey

• How to keep moving forward when you get off track

Connect with Kristen:

• Baby Weight Nutritionist Podcast

• Website

• Instagram

Join the waitlist for my new course, In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

I’ve been holding something back from you. Something that’s been on my heart for a while, but I didn’t know how to share it until now. As vulnerable as it is, I am opening up in this episode because I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.  

Step aside guilt and shame - I’m only allowing room for acceptance and validation of my opinions and feelings from now on.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

• What I am REALLY feeling these days (and why I refrained from sharing this until now)
• How to not make yourself wrong for what you are feeling (and what to do when you find yourself spiraling)
• The truth about unpopular opinions (and how to accept them)
• How to stay on the same team as your spouse (or in any relationship) even when you have different opinions
• The one question that will shift your focus toward marriage growth

Join the waitlist for my new course, In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869

Military life is hard enough, without the added layer of marriage problems too. 

I get how frustrating it is when there seems to be no solution to the problems you’re facing, or your spouse is not doing what you think they should be doing to solve those problems. But in this episode, I challenge you to look at marriage problems differently. 

If you feel like you have a lot of problems in your marriage or are often anxious about something in your relationship, you’ll want to tune into this episode. I have helped numerous couples make sure they are solving the RIGHT problem, which isn’t always what couples initially think it is. I want you to get comfortable looking at your marriage problems this way, so that you and your spouse can feel closer than ever before!

In this episode, you will hear:

• How to view problems in your marriage through a new lens

• Lots of examples to help you understand problems vs. tradeoffs and solidify why this is so important

• What solving the right problem looks like, no matter how strong your marriage is

• How to identify the goal of your arguments to create more understanding and connection

• One simple and effective tip to help you work on problems and increase joy in your marriage

• The secret to getting your spouse to be more vulnerable

Join the waitlist for my new course, In The Trenches: Mastering Deployment for a Stronger Marriage: https://lindsaycavanagh.com/in-the-trenches

Connect with me for a FREE Military Marriage Breakthrough Call:  https://marriedtomilitary.satoriapp.com/offers/236651-military-marriage-breakthrough-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! https://www.instagram.com/marriedtomilitary/

Continue the conversation in my private Facebook group Married to Military: https://www.facebook.com/groups/449431269700869