Marriage, today, is a very long partnership. Half a century or more, if you do it in your 20’s and you’re lucky enough to live out the average lifespan in the USA: 77. 

When I think about the length of that intended commitment, I wonder how reasonable it is that we expect anyone to make it. 

I’m going to use a very unromantic analogy here: 

Making a long-term commitment can be a little like a teacher who gets tenure. 

You just don’t try as hard. Because you don’t have to. You’ve got job security.

There’s no meaningful annual review because you know they can’t fire you. 

And with marriage, the emphasis is on honoring the commitment. Not on how each of you shows up.

Over the years, I have often thought that we’d be better quality partners if our commitments were shorter. Time-limited. 

If, instead of promising forever, we made micro-commitments. If we had marriages. 

3 years. 5 years. Pick your interval. That way there’s an incentive to keep working at it. To keep trying.

Because both partners know that there’s a date by when they’ll meet to reevaluate how happy they are. How compatible they still are. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What a micro-marriage is and how it differs from a traditional marriage.
• The psychological benefits of a micro-marriage.
• How to suggest a micro-marriage to your partner if you’re so inclined.

AND… for the critics who would judge me for proposing micro-marriages, I explain the ways in which micro-marriages already exist in society today. So there. 😉

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/13229400.2021.1952889?needAccess=true

https://ri.urd.ac.ir/article_113827.html 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-Kdsb-2fR6iIWr8zrw3L6mdVPw9GvDCA/view

https://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPage?handle=hein.journals/jlfst10&div=21&id=&page=

https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/11207

Link to VIA Survey Character Strengths here

CREDITS

This episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  

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