Today I want to talk about a lie that we're told about porn addiction. We're often told that addiction is just a bad habit, that we need to abstain from it, get over our impulsivity, and just say no to the cravings and urges. But let me tell you, that's a bunch of crap.

Overcoming porn addiction isn't just about saying no to the habit; it's about developing a new mindset and lifestyle that supports sobriety; a recovery mindset and lifestyle. Addiction isn't the root issue; it's a symptom of deeper mental, spiritual, relational, and physical suffering. So, what does it really take to break free from addiction? Let's dive deeper.

Pornography addiction isn't just limited to substances like drugs or alcohol; it can manifest in various forms, including pornography, overeating, or even workaholism. Anything that we want to stop but feel we can't, despite the negative consequences, falls under the umbrella of addiction. It's about recognizing the imbalances in our lives and addressing them holistically.

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How can feeling bad about porn addiction make you more likely to seek it out?

Do you ever wonder how you could possibly want to stop watching porn so bad, yet the worse you feel about it the more you seem to “want” it? Does it seem strange that you could feel so negative about something, and yet crave the heck out of it at the same time? 

You think, “there must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go back over and over again to this thing I can’t stand.”

Your pornography addiction continues to take things from you. It hurts you and those around you. Yet, the desire for it just doesn’t seem to go away. You think “If I just feel bad enough about it, then I’ll stop.”

Want to know something? 

That is the opposite of the truth. 

In today’s episode, I will teach you about the psychology behind all of this

I’ll explain how the worse you feel about something the more likely you actually are to do it, and I’ll show you how to transform your mindset and mental habits so you can overcome pornography for good. 

In today’s episode, I’ll teach you 5 reasons why we go back to addictions that we feel bad about, and how our negative feelings actually drive our addiction. 

I’ll also give you 4 simple-to-do, practical solutions to overcome these negative feelings, and start fueling long-lasting recovery so you can quit porn. 

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How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

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How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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Porn addiction is a struggle for many today. Finding ways to break free of porn can feel confusing and overwhelming, as we aren’t sure where to start. 

One method of overcoming addiction that is gaining traction is nutrition. In episode 47 of No More Desire, hosted by me (Jake Kastleman), we turn the spotlight to the intersection of nutrition, mental health, and addiction recovery. 

Jordan Gundersen, a Master Herbalist renowned for his expertise in health and nutrition, delves into how dietary choices and natural remedies can play a pivotal role in combating addiction cravings and fostering mental well-being. In turn, empowering us to quit porn.

To learn more about Jordan Gundersen, Master Herbalist, and his wife Cassidy Gundersen, Nutritionist Ph.D, go to HEALTHSAVES.ORG.


BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

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Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

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How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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I recently received this question from one of my listeners:

“I’m trying to break free from porn. What are some key things I can do throughout the day so that when it comes to the time I get home I’m not tempted beyond what I can handle? I know the Bible says that I will never be tempted beyond what I can bear but sometimes I feel like I can’t beat it...”

I LOVE this question! 

There are so many amazing things that we can do everyday to “armor up” and make ourselves resilient to addiction.  

To overcome porn addiction, we need to develop a recovery mindset and lifestyle. In today's episode, I teach you all about it!

If you want to get clean for good, join my intensive recovery program. I teach my clients how to develop a recovery mindset and lifestyle, so they can stay sober FOR GOOD. Learn more about my intensive recovery program.


BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

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Schedule a Free Consultation

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How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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Do you wish you felt in control? Are you tired of experiencing porn cravings everyday? Today, we’re going to talk about how to stop cravings and fantasizing so you can overcome porn addiction for good.

I remember what it felt like dealing with non-stop cravings and wondering if I’d ever get better. I remember feeling out of control and hopeless. 

Now, after 9 years of sobriety, and helping others achieve their own recovery, I can say it is not hopeless at all. There is so, so much hope.

Quitting porn requires a shift in mindset. It’s not about trying hard enough, it’s about knowing how to try. 

Today, I’ll share a real life example of addiction recovery that I believe will give you several significant guidelines you can follow in order to get sober and stay that way.

If you want to get serious about addiction recovery, join my coaching program. I’ll help guide you to success and sobriety through:

• One-on-one sessions with someone who has both personal and professional experience in recovery.
• Daily Check-ins that help you understand what’s really leading to your addiction so you can break free of porn for good.
• Personalize Plans and Goals we work on step-by-step to transform your life and well-being.
• Recovery Curriculum that teaches you the mindset and lifestyle you need to be sober.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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Today, I’m going to teach you why porn addiction destroys motivation, and what you can do about it. 

During the decade I struggled with addictions to porn and masturbation, I constantly regretted how I was squandering my potential. I felt like the times I was clean of porn I could do pretty well in life - I was productive in school, at work, my relationships were better, I was friendlier. 

But during the times that I struggled with porn addiction, all of that seemed to disappear, or at least to suffer. I thought “If I could only stop watching porn and masturbating, I could get my motivation back and accomplish things”. Not that I accomplished nothing, but I knew I was capable of far more than what I was doing. 

Motivation is one of the main things we need to overcome porn addiction. And…overcoming porn addiction is one of the main things we need to feel motivated.

This can make for a pain-staking cycle. 

When we become addicted to porn, we can become sapped of drive and zest for life. We feel a lack of enthusiasm and love for what once excited us. 

To break free of porn addiction, we need to feel that enthusiasm and love so we can fill the hole inside of us. 

This can seem impossible for many of us addicts, and we wonder how we could ever escape such an endless cycle of needing motivation to overcome, and needing to overcome to feel motivated.

In today's episode, I'll teach you how.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

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Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

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How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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One of the main reasons that we struggle with porn addiction is we have not yet learned how to manage stress effectively. 

Managing stress is not an easy task, especially with how many challenging emotions and decisions face us today. 

Most people are more stressed than they’ve ever been, with the political, economic, and societal context. 

But all this does not need to lead to addiction.

Rather than escaping through pornography addiction (or other addictions), we can learn how to stop running from discomfort, and start leaning into it.

We can handle difficult situations and emotions with peace and acceptance. 

By doing this, we can develop the skills to quit porn long-term.

In today’s episode, I’ll teach you the 5 steps to ease stress.

If you want to take recovery seriously, join my coaching program. You’ll experience:

• One-on-one sessions with someone who has both personal and professional experience in recovery.
• Daily Check-ins that help you understand what’s really leading to your addiction so you can break free of porn for good.
• Personalize Plans and Goals we work on step-by-step to transform your life and well-being.
• Recovery Curriculum that teaches you the mindset and lifestyle you need to be sober.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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Are you trying to quit porn for yourself, or for others? 

Should you be motivated to stop watching porn for your spouse? Your kids? For another family member or a friend? 

Sometimes we addicts can rely heavily upon others - to an unhealthy extent. Or, we can completely isolate ourselves, trying to do everything on our own. 

When it comes to our attitude and outlook, it is important we get one thing straight. Our ability to stay clean or porn does not hinge on any outside influences. 

It’s not others’ fault when we relapse. It’s not others’ responsibility to motivate us to stay clean. 

It’s ours. 

Plain and simple. 

Can other people or circumstances make it easier to stay clean? Absolutely! Can other people help us stay sober? Totally! 

We can and should lean on other people to overcome porn addiction, and we should be someone others can lean on too. 

In today’s episode, I’m going to discuss dependent, independent, and interdependent methods of sobriety. We’ll discuss the balance between finding motivation in ourselves vs. finding it in others, and the healthiest outlook we can have to achieve long-lasting sobriety from porn addiction. 

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

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MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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How can the teachings of the Stoics help us overcome porn addiction?

Stoicism is a moral philosophy for how to live a good life. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing stoicism is all about being serious and having no emotion. Being “stoic”, right? This has little to do with what Stoicism actually is. 

We also make the assumption that stoicism, as a philosophy, is irreligious. But this is not the case. 

If you’re not familiar with the Stoics, they were philosophers during the age of the Roman Empire. They believed that by observing and being aware of thoughts and emotions, and acting according to reason, we can discontinue allowing earthly passions to rule us, and become masters over our minds, committing ourselves to a life of service to our fellow men. 

In essence, we could describe pornography addiction recovery this same way: To become an observer of our thoughts and emotions, to master our mind, and to have a life of meaning and service replace the draw of worldly pleasures. 

Today, we’re going to focus on some teachings from my man, Marcus Aurelius, one of the original stoics, and the Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 A.D. 

If you haven’t read Marcus Aurelius' journal - The Meditations - I highly recommend it. That’s where I’ve pulled today’s teachings from. I hope they help you stop watching porn and get sober for both yourself and family.

When we are caught up in addiction, we can feel like a slave to our body’s earthly passions. Marcus Aurelius taught men to live a life founded on serving - which is in essence the opposite of addiction. Addiction is focused on self; recovery is focused on others and God. Not that addicts are selfish, but just that we may have some bad habits of focusing on ourselves too much, which fuels our addiction to porn. When in porn recovery, we are working to replace some of our self-centered habits with ‘others-centered’ and God-centered habits. I’m constantly working on this everyday myself, and need reminders all the time. 

Hope these teachings help you quit porn, my friend. 

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

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When you slip up with porn addiction, are you able to bounce back? Or do you spiral?

Is a slip a learning experience for you? Or does it come out of nowhere and you have no clue how to prevent it in the future? 

Today, I’ll give you the formula for turning a slip or relapse - what can be a hopeless, negative experience - into a springboard for recovery. So you can use it to actually help you get clean and quit porn for good. You’ll learn 5 steps to bounce back after a slip/relapse with pornography.

A slip, if dealt with the right way, can teach you a lot. But you need to change the way you approach it. 

If you typically go into a “wo is me”, hopeless, victimhood mentality - which is easy to do and totally understandable - then a slip cannot help you. 

But, if you practice shifting your mindset and taking action, then you can come out of a slip stronger and more capable than ever. 

Not an easy thing to do. But possible. 

I spent years slipping and relapsing. I remember the discouragement, the darkness, the feeling of being filthy, unworthy, and ashamed. It SUCKS. 

But what’s strange is that all of those feelings of being filthy, unworthy, and ashamed ultimately did not help me stop watching porn. They drove me back to it.

Because the addict brain values intensity - positive or negative - and it will be drawn back to whatever is intense. 

That’s why it’s important that we practice dealing with slips in a new, productive, and powerful way.

In this episode, you will discover the 5 steps to turn a slip/relapse into a learning experience.

BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLE

FREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn

FREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn Cravings

Join My Email Newsletter

Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Program

Schedule a Free Consultation

MORE ARTICLES

How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach

The 4 Root Causes of Porn Addiction

How to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps

8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from Porn

Stop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust Habits

Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction

The Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn Addiction

Support the show

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