ONE GUARANTEED WAY TO LIVE A MEDIOCRE LIFE

One guaranteed way to live a mediocre life is to live in fear and dread of one’s own negative emotional responses.

To live to avoid negative feelings.

To live in fear that an event, an action, a direction one may take might generate negative emotions in us.

To live in fear of fear.

To live in fear of humiliation.

To live, not in the fear of failure necessary, but how failure will FEEL, how BAD it will feel.

To live, not in fear of Rejection, but how the rejection will FEEL.

To live, not in fear that your love will not be returned or that the relationship will fall apart, but how that would make you FEEL.

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Go ahead and live in fear of your own negative emotions, make decisions and design your life with an eye towards avoiding negative emotions, and you are guaranteed to create a mediocre life.

All the sins and negative consequences of PRIDE fall in this category.  We are afraid of LOOKING bad.  We are afraid of being HUMILIATED.  We are afraid of what others will think of us and how that would make us FEEL.

All decisions based on our EGO and our attempt to LOOK GOOD are based in this.

We end up living an unreal and simulated life in this modality.  We become victims to our own emotional body.

We can make things even worse from this threshold and take forward this disastrous step towards victimhood - we can start holding OTHERS responsible for generating negative emotions in us.  Now, not is it our own full time job to dodge negative emotions in our own systems, we now want other people to also start walking on egg shells around us to make sure they don’t trigger any negative feelings in us.

This is an absurd, infantile and narcissistic state.  This in fact is how people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder operate.  Anything and everything can ding a narcissist’s fragile esteem and make them FEEL BAD.  Instead of dealing with their own negative emotions, they allow themselves to be swept away in the events in their emotional body and respond in a nasty and vindictive way towards others and hold them responsible for the events in their emotional body.

Increasingly, I see this narcissistic mechanism in more and more people who in fact are not suffering from all-out NPD.  This emotionalism is ‘in vogue’ these days in how we see ourselves and how we feel we ought to be and how others ought to be towards us.

We are being encouraged to IDENTIFY with our emotional response.  We are being encouraged to operate by the premise that MY EMOTIONS ARE ME!

I have a solution to this : FUCK YOUR EMOTIONS!  FUCK YOUR FEELINGS.  AND MINE TOO!

Our feelings are our problems.  Our feelings are most of the time NOTHING at all.  It is up to us to make sure that our emotions are in fact NOTHING AT ALL!

Stop being reactive to your own emotions, and stop asking others to manage your emotions.  

THAT IS NOT WHAT LOVE IS!

We have come to just accept this as a truism : IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WILL CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS!  

NO!!!!!!  Fuck no!

How about, I can love you plenty and still feel that your feelings are your own fucking problem.  Try this on for size.

Manage your own emotions.  Stop asking others to care so much about your emotions.  Stop living your life and basing your decisions on what emotions those actions and decision may generate in your emotional body.  And once you have done your own work, get rid of all people form you life who want you to manage THEIR emotions.

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