Talking to your child after a tantrum or meltdown can help you find out what caused the outburst. But timing is crucial. Try to talk too soon, and you may rev up big emotions. Wait too long, and your child may lose track of key details that can help you figure out what triggered the outburst.

In this 6-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn teaches you how to know when your child is ready to talk and how to start the conversation. Get expert tips including the best open-ended questions to ask after your child has a tantrum or meltdown.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.  way.

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• Download: Feelings wheel

Timestamps

(00:41) Why timing is really important  
(02:16) How to know when your child is ready to talk  
(03:44) How to start the conversation  
(04:55) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It’s stressful when your child is having a tantrum or outburst, and your reaction can ramp up their behavior. One way to lower the tension is to ask for a sports-style time-out so you and your child can take a quick break from the action.  

In this eight-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to take a mutual time-out when your child is upset. One key detail: Tell your child when you’ll come back together. This can help kids use the time apart to calm down instead of worrying about being abandoned.  

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related resource

• Self-care for kids: 6 ways to self-regulate

Timestamps

(00:44) Why mutual time-outs are so helpful  
(01:37) How to take a mutual time-out  
(07:00) What you can practice ahead of time

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

The single most important step to calm your child’s tantrums or outbursts is to look calm — even if you don’t feel calm.  

In this five-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains why the way you look and sound can have a big impact on your child's behavior. He also offers tips for staying cool during heated moments — or fake it till you make it.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related Resources

• Managing emotions

Timestamps

(00:45) Why you need to look calm  
(02:39) How to project calm in heated moments  
(03:45) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Not all outbursts are the same, and how you respond can have a big impact on your child’s behavior. In this 7-minute episode of of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and what to do next.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related resources

• Taming tantrums vs. managing meltdowns 
• When older kids still have tantrums: What to know  
   

Timestamps

(00:35) Why it helps to know the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown  
(04:45) How to tell a tantrum from a meltdown  
(06:09) What you can do ahead of time

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Listen to the trailer for What Now? A Parent’s Guide to Tantrums and Meltdowns. Over eight short episodes, you’ll learn practical strategies to help you respond more effectively to your child’s outbursts — and manage your own stress along the way.

Host Dr. Andrew Kahn is a licensed psychologist who has been working with kids, teens, and adults for more than 20 years. In this how-to podcast, he offers tips you can use in the moment and skillbuilding exercises you can practice ahead of time.  

Season 1 of What Now? A Parent’s Guide drops Thursday, Oct. 5.  

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. Learn more at Understood.org. And if you like what you hear, help us continue this work by donating at understood.org/give