Excessive people-pleasing isn't just a social habit—it's a physiological trigger for chronic pain and symptoms. In this revealing episode, we explore how constantly putting others' needs before our own creates a state of nervous system danger that manifests as physical suffering.

We unpack why people-pleasing behavior develops (it made evolutionary sense for survival) and why it's so difficult to change, especially when relationships have adapted to expect our accommodation. Through personal examples from our own relationship, we show how these patterns create resentment, dysregulation, and ultimately physical symptoms—and how changing them can lead to healing.

The heart of our conversation centers on four powerful strategies to break free from people-pleasing: practicing exposure while sitting with the inevitable discomfort, honoring your authentic values and needs, setting appropriate boundaries, and learning free expression of emotions. Each approach requires practice and patience, but together they create a pathway toward greater authenticity and physical well-being.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is our acknowledgment that changing these patterns isn't simple—it requires understanding that as we adjust our behavior, we're also retraining others who've grown accustomed to our accommodating nature. We offer practical starting points for those who recognize themselves in these patterns, while emphasizing safety considerations for those in challenging situations.

Ready to transform your relationship with yourself and others while reducing pain? This episode provides both the understanding and practical tools to begin that journey. Subscribe now and join our community course focused on mind-body healing.

Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson are therapists who treat neuroplastic pain and mind-body symptoms. They are also married! In his 20s, Tanner overcame chronic pain and a fibromyalgia diagnosis by learning his symptoms were occurring due to learned brain pathways and nervous system dysregulation. Post-healing, Tanner and Anne have dedicated their lives to developing effective treatment and education for neuroplastic pain and symptoms. Listen and learn how to assess your own chronic pain and symptoms, gain tools to retrain the brain and nervous system, and make gradual changes in your life and health!

The Mind-Body Couple podcast is owned by Pain Psychotherapy Canada Inc. This podcast is produced by Alex Klassen, who is one of the wonderful therapists at our agency in Calgary, Alberta. https://www.painpsychotherapy.ca/

Tanner, Anne, and Alex also run the MBody Community, which is an in-depth online course that provides step-by-step guidance for assessing, treating, and resolving mind-body pain and symptoms. https://www.mbodycommunity.com

Also check out Tanner's YouTube channel for more free education and practices: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Fl6WaFHnh4ponuexaMbFQ

And follow us for daily education posts on Instagram: @painpsychotherapy

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