The documentary "Bad Vegan" was about Sarma Melngailis’s nightmarish journey from successful New York City restaurant owner to Rikers inmate jailed for stealing millions. How did this happen? Sarma was the victim of a narcissistic con man named Anthony Strangis, who manipulated her into believing (or semi-believing) a number of wild, delusional ideas (like that he might be a non-human being with immense, other-worldly powers). He used this strange hold over her to persuade her to give him large amounts of money (much of which he blew at casinos). I talk to Sarma about her experiences. We talk about: what led to her being so emotionally vulnerable that someone like Strangis could manipulate her; the factors that can lead someone to believe things that most people see as clearly ridiculous lies; why she dislikes the “Bad Vegan” documentary maker for his editing choices; the huge emotional challenge of trying to rebuild and stay positive after such nightmarish, debilitating events; her new book "The Girl With the Duck Tattoo."

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What does nostalgia do to our minds — and our wallets? In this talk with Jannine Lasaleta, we talk about her research into the surprising psychological and emotional effects of nostalgia. Why do people become more generous and loose with money when they’re feeling nostalgic? How are companies — and even political campaigns — harnessing nostalgia to influence us? What’s the link between our craving for “authentic” experiences, like sourdough baking or retro products, and our longing for meaning? 

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In the summer of 2024, I went on a five-day solo retreat in the mountains of New Mexico. It was the first time I’d ever really committed to meditation, and to my surprise it turned out to be a deeply meaningful and lasting experience. In this episode, I talk about what led me to try it, what those days of fasting, solitude, and meditation were actually like, and the unexpected effects I noticed afterward in my everyday life. I also share some of the doubts and anxieties I carried into the experience, why meditation had always felt out of reach for me, and why this retreat nevertheless managed to shift something fundamental in how I relate to myself and to stress.

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What does the word “psychopath” really mean—and how often are we getting it wrong? Can someone have some psychopathic traits and still be empathetic? How often are we embracing simplistic ideas of what the terms psychopath and sociopath mean? Are those online “Are you a psychopath?” quizzes harmless fun, or could they actually shape how we see ourselves? And what about all the CEOs, politicians, and anti-heroes people quickly label as psychopaths—are there really so many psychopaths around us, or are people often just seeing what they want to see? Can having a highly competitive job (like a lawyer) make you act in more psychopath-associated ways? I talk with Dr. Nadja Heym, a researcher who specializes in psychopathy and other so-called “dark” personality traits. We explore the myths, the science, and the nuance: from the difference between traits and full-blown disorders, to the surprising ways environment and upbringing can shape these behaviors, to what her research says about the so-called “dark empath.”

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I talk with sports psychology and behavior researcher Philip Furley about how athletes' body language communicates far more than we realize — and how it can affect teammates, opponents, judges, and even the outcome of the game itself. Other topics discussed: celebratory behaviors and how that can influence perceptions of people, including judges; behaviors and strategies of penalty kickers and goalkeepers in soccer; some specific behaviors from recent World Cup games; challenges in finding general behavioral patterns in sports; athletes' anxiety; and ways people might make practical use of his research findings.

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I talk to psychologist Richard Bentall about psychosis, schizophrenia, and the psychological roots of mental illness. Bentall is the author of the well known book "Madness Explained." We explore how symptoms like hallucinations and delusions can often be traced to trauma, stress, and isolation—and how the label of “schizophrenia” may obscure more than it explains. We also discuss the fine line between delusions and widely shared beliefs, how social connections help shape our sense of reality, and why understanding madness as a human response—not just a brain disease—can reduce stigma. I also share some of my own struggles with mental health.

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Psychologist Anne Wilson studies how we construct our identities over time—how we remember the past, imagine the future, and tell ourselves stories that shape who we believe we are. In this episode, we explore why our memories are often less reliable than we think, and how that inaccuracy might actually be a feature, not a bug. Anne shares insights from her work on temporal self-appraisal theory, including surprising research showing how people often rewrite their pasts to make it seem like they're always improving. We also talk about how memory malleability impacts mental health, relationships, and political polarization. Why do people remember the same childhood in radically different ways? Why do people recall their past selves as worse than they actually were? 

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What if we’ve been thinking about narcissism all wrong — and some forms of it are not only normal, but healthy? Why do we so often confuse genuine confidence or ambition with something pathological? Could your most “humble” or “selfless” friend actually be showing a hidden form of narcissism? And how might political polarization be pushing all of us to act a little more narcissistic than we’d like to admit? I talk with Craig Malkin, author of the book "Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists," in which he explains that narcissism is a spectrum. It’s healthy and normal to have some positive and grandiose illusions about your place in the world, as long as those illusions don’t become pathologically unhealthy and toxic.

Topics discussed: the spectrum of narcissism, ranging from more normal forms of narcissism to pathological, malignant, dangerous forms; common misconceptions about narcissism; existential and psychological factors that can lead to more malignantly narcissistic traits and behaviors; the phenomenon of people overzealously labeling others narcissists; the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (the basis of many people’s understanding of narcissism) and how it works.

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I talk to Barry Prizant, author of the popular book "Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism," about the often misunderstood world of autism. We explore the idea that many so-called “autistic behaviors” are actually meaningful responses to stress, overwhelm, or attempts to communicate—and that looking for the “deep why” behind people's behavior is essential. We talk about sensory sensitivity and the complexities of the autism label. Barry shares stories from his decades of work, including surprising examples of how kids can use quotes from TV/movies to express their needs and fears. We also discuss empathy, the concept of autism as a different cultural style of communication, and how society’s need for people to “act normal” can cause harm. Even if you don’t know much about autism, you'll like this episode if you're interested in behavior, psychology, or communication. 

Learn more about the show and get transcripts at⁠ ⁠behavior-podcast.com⁠⁠.   

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Why do we feel so unsettled and agitated when the world doesn’t make sense? In this episode, I talk with psychologist Steven Heine about his Meaning Maintenance Model — a theory that explains how we react when our sense of meaning is threatened. We explore how disruptions to our mental frameworks can lead us to double down on our beliefs, seek comfort in nostalgia, or shift our focus to other sources of meaning. We discuss what this tells us about political polarization, existential crises, and even how psychedelics and surreal art can shake up (and sometimes heal) our sense of reality. If you’ve ever wondered why ambiguity and uncertainty can feel so deeply uncomfortable—and what we might do to avoid it—this episode is for you.

Learn more about the show and get transcripts at⁠ ⁠behavior-podcast.com⁠⁠.   

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