In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game. 

 

Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy?

  

What to Listen For

Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53

Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us?

What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization?

What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us?

 

The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30

What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want?

What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change?

 

Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31 

How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy?

 

Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13 

What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position?

 

Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves.

 

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Resources from this Episode

You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman

Bregman Partners website

Peter Bregman on LinkedIn

Peter Bregman on Twitter

 

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