When your child is being hard, what is the first tool you reach for? A countdown. A consequence. A lecture. A raised voice. Almost every one of those is a version of the same instinct: when my child gets hard, I get harder. It makes complete sense, because that is exactly what we were taught to do. In this episode, I am making the case for the opposite. The single most powerful thing you can do in your hardest parenting moments is not bring more pressure. It is to bring more play.

I know exactly what some of you are thinking: play rewards bad behavior. Actually, it does the opposite. A hard behavior is a child who is stuck, and play dissolves the stuckness. Hard moments call for seriousness. Actually, a serious face reads as more of a threat to your child's nervous system, and threat escalates behavior. Play is for little kids. Your teenager did not stop playing. You did.

This episode dismantles the three biggest myths that keep parents stuck, then hands you the tools to try tonight.

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